Intentional single parenthood as a new default option?

Howslap · 2020-06-28T18:35:38+00:00

I've just made the same mindset shift and it has been truly liberating. I'm done being a slave to a biological clock that I, quite frankly, don't think is the end-all and be-all of my woman-hood. I'm 33 at the moment but if I dont find a HVM by the time I'm 40 I am ready to go ahead and adopt a precious baby girl and give her the same security, safety, stability, and self esteem that I grew up with. Hell, I may do it before 40, it all depends on when I AM READY AND NOT ANYONE ELSE.

curlygirl507 · 2020-06-28T19:08:51+00:00

I grew up with my grandmother after my mom divorced my NVM father and died of cancer a few years later. I'm convinced that being reared by her, without any male influence, is one of the best things that could've happened to me. Our life was peaceful and happy and full of good food and books. I was an excellent student and have had no problem dumping boyfriends who weren't good for me for one reason or another. I think the way I grew up really enabled my stability as an adult and I wish more women would have kids without men.

heliodrome · 2020-06-28T17:50:35+00:00

Women have been single mothers for ages. It works out fine, if there is enough cash and support from family, friends and community.

jelilikins · 2020-06-28T16:58:32+00:00

I've been wondering about this too. I'm not sure I want kids, but if I decide I do, and I don't have a partner, I might try the adoption route.

I think a big thing will be making sure you have plenty of dollar - 1) because adoption is a hugely expensive process and 2) to show you're in a good position to care for a child. You'll obviously need to have plans for working and childcare, too.

sadcello · 2020-06-28T19:12:48+00:00

It is a trend and I predict it will be the norm in 10-20 years, especially in Europe, China, Korea, anywhere in a wealthy country where women have financial freedom. More and more women are done with men but they still want to be mothers, so they just skip to motherhood. Good luck to you.

LondonDaPink · 2020-06-28T23:57:37+00:00

I'm glad you made this post. I wanted to be a tradwife but since most men are scum and I don't trust them, I'll be going the sperm bank route or adopting in the near future. I've known since I was a child that I want to be a mother so this is the best option for me. I have a solid support system and have been busy saving and getting my finances together for when I'm ready to start my family.

plentyofvengeance · 2020-06-28T20:22:00+00:00

I am in uni now so it's not a priority but I have always wanted to be a mother. As long as I can remember. I thought I needed a man for this but now I have made the mental shift. If I don't find the right men I will adopt or go to a sperm bank.

Make sure you're financially very secure before you do this. Build a good support system to help out.

2020-06-29T11:21:09+00:00

Even when I was a kid and tried to imagine myself having children I always imagined myself as a single mom. It's probably related to my own family drama, I'd always wish my parents would get a divorce and my mom would stop crying because of my dad.

Then I realized I don't want biological children, and I don't know where to look for a unicorn who would be a great dad to an adopted kid. So yeah, if I have enough cash and no reliable partner by the time I'm 40, I'll adopt and be a proud single mom.

Title	Intentional single parenthood as a new default option?
Author	pjk_896
Upvotes	40
Comments	14
Date	June 28, 2020 1:58 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hhet3g/intentional_single_parenthood_as_a_new_default/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/intentional-single-parenthood-as-a-new-default.701729 https://theredarchive.com/post/701729

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