IS MARRIAGE A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT?

Alexamaria · 2020-05-31T21:41:02+00:00

Honestly, I’m not sure either.

I do think men benefit so much more from marriages than women. Because most men just take while women give.

I know that I’ve seen enough bad/mediocre (aka also bad) marriages to not desire it. I don’t even care if I’m in my late 20’s. Most men are toxic, emotionally lazy, liars and addicts.

What I love is that when I have found myself in bad relationships, I have all the power to leave them - with not much to clean up afterwards (no kids, not having to divorce, etc).

Every relationship I’ve been in, once marriage is starting to enter the convo, outwardly I’m like “yesssss!!” But then I find myself having daydreams of waking up in 5 years, next to a male that I really actually hate and now tied to him because we have kids.

It really has given me extreme anxiety.

I imagine that if I do date an HVM someday, I won’t feel that way because he would actually ADD to my life and not take from it. But even when I imagine that, I still just don’t know if I want to be tied to a male the rest of my life like that, you know?

😒😒😒

Neorago · 2020-06-01T00:29:13+00:00

I think more women would avoid hunting for relationships/marriage if they had access to better paying jobs.
Honestly, the cost of living is so ridiculous that women and men seem to seek out relationships they don't actually want out of desperation. So many stories on here involve LVM who obviously just wanted an opportunity to move out of their mom's basements. Tons of women with abusive family backgrounds try to seek a way out, and often cling to men who turn out to be abusive to "save" them.

MuffinSongs · 2020-05-31T23:01:57+00:00

I think if it’s the right man and you feel comfortable being both friends and lovers long term it can be a wonderful thing. Building a family with someone you trust and love is amazing. I’ve done that.

I think marriage with the wrong man is a fn nightmare. Building a life with an asshole who demands “RESPECT BECAUSE I AM A MAN!” Is bullshit. And sometimes you don’t see the monster until they think they have you hooked enough so that you won’t leave. Idk if you can tell, but I’ve done that too.

Now? Idk if I can get married anymore. Like... why? If I found the right man again I would... maybe - with a prenup and some pre-marital therapy so that both partners understand each other’s expectations of what it means to be a husband and wife.

But yea, marriage is a social construct like most things we humans do. The beauty is that you get to pick if it’s for you or not.

OrchidLion · 2020-06-01T02:52:56+00:00

I want to have kids someday, so a marriage is security to me, and if it ends in divorce atleast i get half his money he has to pay child support.

It is NOT ideal for a woman to be pregnant or have kids and be on her own. Too much of a burden. The creature that made you pregnant should atleast be paying support money.

rinabean · 2020-06-01T09:03:34+00:00

You don't have to get married

Of course it's a social construct, but also monogamy is pretty normal for humans.

I got married because I wanted to and I'm happy with it. That's not the same as marrying out of fear you'll be an old maid if you don't. I would never recommend a woman marries a man she merely tolerates, not in this day and age. Marriage is a huge risk for women - living with men is nearly as great a risk. It's way better to be single than to be in a bad relationship with a man, always!

You can make your own money. You can have kids alone too but it's easier the more money you have.

2020-06-01T08:15:46+00:00

Marriage is a business contract that does not benefit women.

A will and an advanced care directive from both parties can take the place of the most important benefits of marriage, and can be changed easily at any time if the relationship changes. You will not get a tax break of course, but a woman should be making a salary that allows her to live comfortably to her own standard anyway. Never mix bank accounts. And your education comes before men, never forget!

nutshit · 2020-06-01T15:55:37+00:00

If youre smart about it, marriage can benefit women contrary to what comments are saying. If he’s financially well off you can always stack his or your money in a savings/investment so that if anything happens you’re secure for many years. Always have a side hustle. But yeah I do believe it’s a social construct and a lot of people have woken up to this scam. Some girls still want it because of the “fantasy”.. it’s a beautiful idea in their head but they ignore the reality.

Hhjjuuy · 2020-06-02T06:49:11+00:00

Not just social, it is a patriarchal construct.

From the handbook: https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/d2lg9t/girl_game_pt_1_males_monogamy_and_mateguarding/

Title	IS MARRIAGE A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT?
Author	ayhtdws1989
Upvotes	24
Comments	10
Date	May 31, 2020 6:23 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gu42k8/is_marriage_a_social_construct/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/is-marriage-a-social-construct.674736 https://theredarchive.com/post/674736

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