So I finally cut off the guy who had his escapades in Thailand. We met and got drunk but he was more into this Thai soon to be girlfriend. He initiated sex on our second date and honestly I wasn’t into him even after sex. He was short, around 5,9 and had baby face with body of a new born baby. He’s not fat but I’d say he’s cute. What attracted to me was that he was living t he life I always dreamed of. He’s consultant in big4 making 6 figures and went to top school with medical degree. Me ? I’m just a regular girl from Asia, I worked my ass of 2 years ago so now I’m able to live alone in studio in manhattan but I still struggle in mediocre job, I have 0 social circle here as I don’t know anyone. And the thing I hate about my self the most ? It’s not about my body or anything. It’s the fact that my ex let me ruin me and I still struggle from trauma. He abused me heavily. Like heavy as in I’ve never heard anyone being abused this much in such a short time. I gave my everything while he treated me like a dirt.

And I understand that’s why I get so easily attached to lvm guys when I meet them on OLD as that’s my only way of socializing. For me it’s not just a date. It’s a chance for me to talk to ppl outside of my work.

I noticed most of the guys I meet see me as short term thing and it never lasted long. Maybe it’s bc I meet them online but I hear stories of people getting married. I just feel so sad why I never get any normal sane guy

And we had very long text I attached the screenshot. More like an argument, I told him why he want to stay as friends and he said he finds me cool and interesting. Which in translation as you’re not physically not my type (he likes smaller girls with long hair and submissive who can do his chores) but I like talking to you. And since I had feelings for him i didn’t wanted to be treated as an option and it was always on back of my mind like a bug that eats up your brain that the fact that he dated sex worker in Thailand and had sex with so many prostitutes there. Bc if I date him, I’d be joining and putting myself into same level as them.

https://imgur.com/a/j8whA9t