So I was recently introduced to FDS through my roommate and I am in love; unfortunately I am kicking myself for not knowing about it sooner.

The reason my roommate shared FDS with me is because my boyfriend of five months ghosted me. We met on an OLD platform during quarantine. I literally cannot even count all of the red flags there were, but I justified the things he did that made me uncomfortable with my lack of knowledge of a healthy relationship experience. I am 23f and he was a 27m, to clarify I've never been in a healthy relationship and so I've spent most of my time with LVM and I thought I was able to identify them, but this guy showed me a whole other side to that understanding.

Here are some red flags I learned to run from (but didn't at the time):

- An intense and initial showering of attention and praise that putters out within months is LV. Someones admiration and respect for you is not something that is finite and fading.

- If he forgets a date, walk away. There is no reason to not remember a date, it's absolutely a sign they are not invested and do not care.

- A man who expects you to come to his house after one FaceTime chat/digital communication is LV. Honestly, I'm so ashamed I drove to his apartment for our first face-to-face meeting. If a man cares about meeting you and putting in effort HE will take the steps to see you and make you comfortable.

- You should not have to keep asking to spend more time with him. I practically begged to see him more than twice a week (at most) and he never followed through with his word.

- If he never buys you dinner or cooks, that is an issue.

- If he turns his phone away from you, as to obviously hide something (like a bad actor), run don't walk.

- If he seems to say all the right things when he knows you are upset, but never follows through, don't keep repeating yourself. Leave him.

A man who is worth being in your world will show up for you. There is no happy relationship where you are begging for the things you want, where you are always doing the work for little in return, where you are lying in bed next to them and you feel unseen, unheard, unloved because you know in your heart they don't care about you the way you deserve. Through this horrible relationship with a LVM, I've realized I had soooo many internalized pickmeisha tendencies. I didn't realize that the reason I keep having unfulfilling, unhappy relationships is because I accepted and excused LV behavior instead of blocking and walking away. FDS has given me so much confidence and strength through knowledge and shared experience. XOXO