Ladies I need support!

Scotsburd · 2019-12-09T20:54:28+00:00

Never allow yourself to be demoted by a man. The very fact he thinks this is reasonable demonstrates the low regard he had for you. Leave and never speak to him again.

GCchick · 2019-12-09T20:26:05+00:00

Two things :

- You are never wasting time. You are gathering life experience, you are learning and growing. It is a waste of time only if you don't apply the lessons you learnt. You experience with him is not a waste of time, it has made you grow.

- You want to make him realize what an idiot he is for letting you go. I get it. Trust me. And it will happen. Trust me. When we get away and live our lives to the fullest without giving them a second thought, they always regret. Even if it's just a question of ego (never true love). BUT, do not fall into the trap of wanting to make him want you.

---> This guy doesn't seem to be into you enough. He's drifting away and you should let him be. Do you really deserve to beg a guy to be with you? Do you not deserve better? Do you not want to be with someone that is thrilled to spend a minute with you? Would that not feel a million times better?

I would advise you to breakup before you invest any more time and tears. I don't see anything good coming out of this. But I'm a stranger on the internet, so I can only give you an opinion.

If you do choose to breakup :

- Make a list of the positive aspects he had that you want to find in the next guy

- Make a list of the stuff he lacked that you would like to find in the next guy

- Change the subject, think of something else. Focus on other areas of your life that you can improve on.

- In no time, you'll meet other men that will make you wonder what you saw in your current boyfriend.

- Current boyfriend might come back crawling and wax poetry about how he was stupid, you were the one. Don't fall for it.

- Keep upgrading. Men should be like laptops.

womanofthenorth · 2019-12-09T20:18:20+00:00

Well you’ve already correctly figured out you need to dump him. So, well done on that. As for him one day realizing what a mistake he made; who cares. He’s soon to be in your past. Leave him there. Has he wasted your time? Maybe a little bit, but hey, now you know what not to do next time. It’s a good lesson you’ll have for the next twenty years.

You’re going to be totally fine. Break up, block, move on.

goatismycopilot · 2019-12-09T22:52:45+00:00

Look. You are allowed to ugly cry. Of course you feel bad.

Here is what you do: break up with him. Then he gets all the space he needs to "grow up". Tell him you need space to process your feelings and you will NOT be getting together with him and his family for Christmas and you can NOT continue dating him under these circumstances.

You need time to heal. You need time to figure out what you want and need in a relationship which you are going to find out is not him.

Do some nice things for yourself if you have a few extra bucks. Personally I like getting a mani/pediatric. Get some cute Christmas nails. Reach out to some GFs or female family members if you can. You need girl time. Fuck this guy. Not saying his is a bad guy but his inability to figure out his life is hurting you.

husheveryone · 2019-12-10T00:44:19+00:00

Honey, if you need a push to be able to cut the cord, it's this: he is breaking up with you, in the most immature, chicken-shit way. He doesn't want to be in this relationship anymore, and he thinks he can lessen the guilt he will feel if he does it slowly and incrementally by driving you two apart. I guarantee if you stay in this relationship, you'll hear from him less and less, he'll be "really busy" a lot, and eventually he'll suggest you two "take a break." Have you asked him what "I need to grow up" even means? What does he need to do on his own that he couldn't do living with a partner? If you take it at face value and don't dissect it, it sounds like a powerful and meaningful desire for someone to have, but in reality....it's all BS. It's essentially meaningless and intended to manipulate. It's not you, it's me. I need to find myself. I'm not ready for a relationship right now. I need to grow up a little bit. All lies, all bullshit, all the cowards way of saying "I don't want to do this anymore."

You're allowed to be sad, sis. Cry all the tears you need to! This fucking sucks so much. I'm so sorry this is happening, but at the same time I am glad because it means you're one step closer to finding the man who wouldn't dream of letting you get away.

MyGilleyCat · 2019-12-09T21:23:52+00:00

Thank you thank. This support is really what I need right now. I’m in a very low place and I really need help being strong.

Title	Ladies I need support!
Author	meepiebeepie
Upvotes	17
Comments	11
Date	December 9, 2019 7:18 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/e8eiqj/ladies_i_need_support/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/ladies-i-need-support.687213 https://theredarchive.com/post/687213

Comments