Let's discuss this exchange. What are your thoughts?

CoolSaucy · 2020-11-02T05:13:24+00:00

What a total CHODE. She was right to stand up for herself and kick him out. This guy is a straight up narcissist and when his daughter is old enough to date and starts dating trash men like him, he is going to be scratching his head like an idiot. Its one thing to set boundaries and voice concerns and its another to start insulting someone and attacking their character.

Also, is this an example of the whole negging thing people on this sub talk about?

werker115 · 2020-11-02T05:24:09+00:00

He loved throwing out that she is “almost 40” and the “oldest bachelorette there ever was” LOL what a fool. Doesn’t he know everyone ages, if they are lucky. Also, who says maturity is tied to age? He is 30 himself and far from mature. He looks much older than 30 to me..let’s see what he looks like in a decade.

moralxdilemma · 2020-11-02T05:26:12+00:00

He wants to be the prize, and he is angry that she knows she's the prize and won't chase him.

Platipus6 · 2020-11-02T07:18:21+00:00

Disclaimer : I haven't seen the group date they're referring to. I'm aware this is edited reality tv. I'm interpreting words and body language as they're presented and probably falling for the narrative they want, or missing a lot of context/backstory.

“I told you from the beginning that I'm going to be open and honest” – leaning forward, feigning sincerity, setting her up for both “brutal honesty” and “hey I warned you” as well as “this is going to be long so shut the fuck up while I speak”

“yah” she's active listening, she remembered. Showing she's willing to hear him out, appreciates his 'honesty'. She's already been tricked into thinking he's coming to her in good faith. Projected this deep and meaningful wish to clear something up because it's something she'd do. She's leaning forwards, mouth and face open and letting him in. Relaxed and curious.

“of course” he's not listening. Steamrolls “give me a chance to say all that I have to say” - hammering home “shut the fuck up”

“Absolutely, I mean I feel that you got a lot to say” his jaw flexes and he looks away, irritated already at her audacity to articulate and let him know she's talking about her willingness to listen. She's looking at him and studying his face for more info and to show her interest. He's looking away, annoyed because he just wants to monologue. Tired that he had to so nicely set her up to shut the fuck up and she's not shutting the fuck up.

“yeah so” sigh shut the fuck up “again I said” irritated I have to repeat myself. Projecting that if she's talking, she's not listening “there's been a couple red flags that kinda came out to me and the first thing that happened was really in our group date. The date was going absolutely amazing and” looks to her for confirmation that she's finally listening, she's learnt her lesson and says “yah”, he can look away and continue, knowing he has her full attention. She doesn't need as much corralling.

“in the evening you basically said that 'you guys are here for me' k and” LIP PURSE hahah holding himself back from saying his true thoughts on that. Swallowing anger/disgust at the memory of her audacity. Imagine being the bachelorette, having a whole show dedicated to you, and telling the men they're here for her.

“And you're 100% correct we are here for you BUT” throwing out a small appeasement in case she clocked his contempt. The BUT negates it anyway haha.

“you're here for us too” She nods “yah, absolutely” - willing to take criticism, still fooled into thinking this is a fair exchange and critique session with things she should seriously think about.

“and it's two sided” Playing on women's need for fairness. Fairness to men means “benefits men”. He's entered bad faith territory.

“I've sacrificed a lot to be here” Yosef? More like DARVOOSEF

“I'm missing out on time with my daughter” that lip curl of faux sincerity. “And every second I'm here that's one second I'm taking away from being with my, my child” whoops forgot her name. Women's heart strings get pulled with this Best Dad schtick right??

“Honestly, I get it, my Mom is dying”. Active listening. Trying to show empathy, agreeing that being away from loved ones is hard, showing that she's making a sacrifice too.

“I MEAN” shut the fuck up. Lip curl at her audacity. How dare you bring up dead mom when I'm running my sympathy script.

“I'm sorry”. SHE'S SORRY FOR INTERUPTING WITH HER EMPATHY AND STORY ABOUT DEAD MOM. She caught the lip curl and probably has a warning pang of fear.

“LET ME CONTINUE” He's projecting and interpreting her as one-upping, not empathising.

“I totally understand” appeasing. Fawning. Her face closes. Head rears back. Neck tendons popping. Increased breathing. Preparing for physical attack. Wary. Suspicious.

“Thank you” good girl. Resume shutting the fuck up.

Assured she's intimidated. “I found it disrespectful, I really did. It's been bugging me for the past 3 days” HAHAHHAAH wow way to hold a grudge. Injustice collector, big time. “It's been really eating me up” I bet, you seething, sullen little man. He's more animated, showing more teeth, free to become aggressive now he's got her fawning and frightened.

“This is the first time I've gotten to talk to you about it” and I'm big mad I haven't managed to corner you before this, and I have to do it on camera. Oh well, footage of me humiliating you :)

“yah” still fawning. Probably very confused right now. This went off the rails.

“The second thing is” GUFFAW. His face at 1:26 is pure contempt 'can't believe I have to spell this out for your lady brain'. He knows she's intently studying and mirroring him, he's hoping to inspire the same incredulousness at her own behaviour so she takes the blame and fawns more.

LICKS LIPS TO MARINATE HIS LIES LMAO “I was absolutely appalled at the group date that occurred yesterday, playing dodgeball. It's so humiliating” He's not describing his own feelings, but casting a moral judgement on her behavior, and attempting to project how he thinks the other men felt (I haven't seen it, did they act humiliated and demeaned?) Fake empathy for them, it's an act so he can say he's not like other guys.

blah blah find a husband, seems very silly and very immature.” (was this even her idea? Or part of you know, THE SHOW) It's just another jab at her age.

She's stopped saying “yah” and is keeping her jaw closed, but still making mmhm noises to placate. She's not agreeing.

“I feel like a lot of these guys, they're appeasing you.” Interesting word choice there fellah. He's announcing he's not a simp. “Not in a million years would I be caught dead doing that” he's not referring to the activity, but to simping haha.

“If my family saw me doing that, if my daughter saw me doing that” he cares more about his reputation and what other people think. Her lips at 2:13. She's starting to catch on to where this is going. His narrative that he empathised humiliation doesn't make sense if he thinks they're stupid.

“That's why you were not at the event?” he confirms he's above the other men.

“I was so appalled, a completely classless display. I expected a lot more from the oldest bachelorette that's ever been”. OH YOU DONE FUCKED UP NOW. 2:30 She gets it. He's not here for a good faith conversation. Slow head down and a murmured mm, like, go on motherfucker. She feels safe again.

jayda92 · 2020-11-02T06:47:13+00:00

He looks and sounds like my ex..

2020-11-02T07:42:05+00:00

Is he about to cry??? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 The moment he spoke he looked 2 seconds away from crying wtf 😂😂😂😂

burntbpd · 2020-11-02T10:35:35+00:00

The comments are full of people shaming her and bringing up her age. Bruh i can't.

icegrrl · 2020-11-02T05:03:31+00:00

It felt a bit scripted but he was still terrible.

2020-11-02T07:13:55+00:00

I've never watched such shows in my life. I don't know how the process works, if Clare chose the "group date" of naked men parading around. That does sound like a poor example to me, but every single thing about the way he brought it up makes me not want to listen to him. Starting off with talking about how he's the prize, too? Bringing her age into it? Continuing the process after the fact instead of calling out the display immediately? Bringing it up to her face personally instead of talking straight to the viewers? All of that was unnecessary garbage, even if Clare did set up an inappropriate display on national television.

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