Moving for a guy.

heythere360 · 2019-12-02T20:32:29+00:00

As someone who has moved for a partner let me tell you this

Do not take a pay cut or career cut for this. You should ideally be advancing in your career by making this move, not stalling it in any way shape or form.
Have a community that you regularly see. Don’t just say you have them and ignore them. See them regularly. Invest fully in those relationships
Move with the expectation that if he dumps and blocks you the DAY after moving, you will not regret having made the move. Do it for you and your sense of adventure.

I moved to the same city as my ex knowing if it didn’t work out the dating scene would be LIT. At 24 I’ve lived and worked in many different cities and abroad. I love adventures and always make sure or come out on top with options and a community if anything didn’t work as planned.

Basically if you move and he dumps you, you can be disappointed but you can’t play the victim card of “woe is meee I did this and this and this for HIM”

Nah do it for you. Do it cause it’s fun and exciting and advancing your career.

If you go do NOT tell him now and do NOT tell him it’s for him. You are not his gf. If he knows he has this much sway over you he will get bored with you and possibly overwhelmed. Moving for a dude who is not your husband (much less not your bf) looks Desperate as hell no matter how nice he is. He WILL turn on you if you chase him.

Good luck and I say go for it if you check all the boxes listed above!

Spice_Cat_Puccino · 2019-12-02T20:18:48+00:00

I would move, if you really like this guy, but to still have separate finances and homes. This way he doesn't becomes too comfortable with you, you always have something to fall back on (job, separate finances and separate homes).

The advantage with big cities is that there's more job opportunities, and more people to date if ever it were to fail (let's hope it stays as good as it is! But it's good to take precautions)

whycantweallgetal0ng · 2019-12-02T20:23:13+00:00

Yes, it's generally foolish to move for a man, especially if it's to a place where you don't speak the language and there are no good job opportunities.

But in your case it sounds like it might only be medium-sized foolishness at best. Big enough to teach you a lesson, if something goes wrong, but not so big that it will destroy your life.

TheLastUBender · 2019-12-02T21:46:49+00:00

If you are not in a relationship yet, I wouldn't (unless you would enjoy moving there anyway). If you are in an LDR, I think the only rule about who moves for whom is figuring out which version is more painless and mutually beneficial. My partner moved for me, but it was bc I had the better job and was in an economically more affluent area at the time.

Edit: as other commenters have said, we knew that he'd make more money after the move and wouldn't be negatively affected in terms of his career, on the contrary. Same should apply to you.

ino_y · 2019-12-03T04:54:24+00:00

I'd only move with my husband.

Dont move in if you can't afford to move out again. Always have at least $3k in a "fuck you" fund.

Title	Moving for a guy.
Author	ilikeoreosandpussy12
Upvotes	13
Comments	6
Date	December 2, 2019 6:10 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/e52wnu/moving_for_a_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/moving-for-a-guy.1069899 https://theredarchive.com/post/1069899

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