Moving in: am I playing this right?

glittersparklesglitz · 2020-02-11T04:31:42+00:00

No no no no no!!!

Do not move in with him until he's proposed AND you've mutually agreed upon a date.

If merely talking about commitment "freaks" him out, girl, RUN!!!!!!

SaddleUpBucephalus · 2020-02-11T04:35:45+00:00

Men overwhelmingly gain the most when they have a woman move in with them. I wouldn't move in with someone before marriage. I think it's reasonable to move in with a ring and a set wedding date as well. Just think of the practical issues when it comes to moving in with someone and don't be blinded by emotion. Make it hard for them to leave you.

jalapenopancakes · 2020-02-11T04:40:00+00:00

Second the other poster.

His commitment to you is more important and harder to achieve than learning about each other’s living habits.

You know what a great way to get to know someone is? Go on a week long vacation with him. Stop over by his house unannounced. Ask his mom about his habits.

Don’t fall for the live in girlfriend crap. You caught him when he was taken aback at the thought of proposing: he may have been looking for a live in mommy/fuckable therapist maid and not a wife. Assert the ring and a date boundary and see if he bounces. He might, be prepared.

AyemHerself · 2020-02-11T04:45:17+00:00

I personally would give it at least a year of dating, with you staying over time and again beforehand, before considering moving in. Also make sure you have an exit strategy in place should things go south.

You moving in would be a great time for him to start slacking with the expectation that you will pick up the housekeeping duties and excuse what were previously dealbreakers to you.

ThicThighzSavesLivez · 2020-02-11T04:50:49+00:00

Agreed with every comment. Don’t do it. Unless you’re about to get married and you’re absolutely 1000% sure he isn’t an asshole LVM. Otherwise you’ll be his live in mom who makes the place warmer and more inviting. Think planning parties for “your” friends, doing everyone’s laundry, cooking for both of you....it’ll happen far before that lease is up. Trussst!

7_0f_9 · 2020-02-11T04:54:20+00:00

To be honest i don't see why you need to prove yourself. I mean, is there anything you can learn from moving in with him that you don't think you can learn by spending the night with each other a couple times a week? Genuine question because i can't think of anything. Just by going to a guys house regularly i can figure out 1) does he take good care of his hygiene, 2) does he keep his place consistently clean, 3) is he spending responsibly (ie not wasting money on video games, buys healthy food, etc), 4) does he trust you in his apartment alone (i had a bf who didn't trust me in his apartment alone after a year so i dumped him), 5) is he organized and responsible with his possessions (does he let things get run down or leaves things in the corner to never be repaired, etc). Im sure there's more i can't think of right now, but just by dating someone for 6-12 months i can generally figure these things out without actually moving in. Maybe within even the first few months you can figure this stuff out.

Just my two scents. To me it just seems way too early to move in. I betcha he just wants to audition you as a mommy more than anything. Maybe I'm wrong.

TerribleStressie · 2020-02-11T04:38:49+00:00

I personally would never accept a proposal unless I have live with someone and see how they are day to day. There's too many unknowns and fakes that I couldn't see until I see someone personal lives.

Title	Moving in: am I playing this right?
Author	tttioga
Upvotes	2
Comments	12
Date	February 11, 2020 4:28 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/f23352/moving_in_am_i_playing_this_right/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/moving-in-am-i-playing-this-right.682835 https://theredarchive.com/post/682835

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