On Trauma and Men

eden_else · 2020-06-01T07:59:56+00:00

You are right. I also find it scary how men have to be forced to humanise women in order to not blame them for violences men choose to do. The whole "what if this was your daughter/sister/mother" line is such bullshit. What if this was a PERSON worthy of being treated with humanity??

Glad you're getting help in healing and that you're standing by your standards ❤❤ that guy is freaking trash for thinking like that

thegypsybean · 2020-06-01T08:32:01+00:00

Thank you so much for posting this. I’ve gone through a lot of the same BS from LVM in my pickmeisha days, and as a fellow CPTSD sufferer, it’s never fun when you’re pushed to a place where the memories come back.

I’m so happy to hear you’re getting help and healing sis. I support you 100% 💕

da_rlene · 2020-06-01T08:22:43+00:00

[deleted]

rinabean · 2020-06-01T08:46:02+00:00

I am so glad you reacted the way you did.

I see something even worse there. I see a far worse reason he would tell you that if a man abuses you in the future it's partially your fault for not being aware enough. It reminds me of men who think that if they say they are uncaring, cheaters, violent that she has no right to complain when he acts like that... I think it's foolish of her not to have listened, but it doesn't absolve him whatsoever.

But joke's on him 'cause you were aware!

I don't want to tell you what to do but if you think someone is lacking compassion to the point of being frightening, I don't think that's a maybe friend... I think they're definitely not your friend. I'm glad you've totally written him off romantically but he seems like a very unpleasant person in general. I don't think he's as ignorant as you do either... you were teaching him, that's not ignorance any more to keep insisting that you'd deserve it if someone hurt you

Bluefoxcrush · 2020-06-01T13:39:54+00:00

Good for you for taking steps to heal.

Good for you for cutting him out of your life.

Please take care of yourself- there is a good chance he won’t take it well. I wish you well!!

meanemad · 2020-06-03T23:10:33+00:00

you did right, he could use your trauma in future for dismisse your opinions or manipulate you. For example if you dont want to do sth, he telling you that it is cause you are damaged and then your preferences are not valid. I encourage you to heal in peace and dont share your trauma or past with men, you dont owe any explanation to men. I learnt this the hard way in past.

Title	On Trauma and Men
Author	da_rlene
Upvotes	59
Comments	13
Date	June 1, 2020 6:00 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/guf130/on_trauma_and_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/on-trauma-and-men.674703 https://theredarchive.com/post/674703

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