Questionable sleeping pattern?

lilith1993 · 2020-01-22T09:50:17+00:00

For every legitimate sleep-disordered man there are 20 others who can't sleep because they are addicted to gaming, sex chats and finding that "perfect porn video."

I would be wary unless he's on shift rotation and works nights, which can cause legitimate sleeping trouble.

SextMex · 2020-01-22T13:28:52+00:00

The fact that he sleeps fine and early with you means he's choosing to stay up because of shitty habits.

I have a legitimate sleep disorder that disrupts my life and of course I've had friends who are skeptical about it until we spend a week or two together on vacation, or become roommates. Because it's the same whether of not I'm having screen time or are otherwise distracted.

I've had friends and partners claim "insomnia" but it's really just social media, video game, or porn addiction. Sometimes it's untreated depression and anxiety. All of these things are deal breakers for me. Put down the glowing rectangle, do some meditation, get therapy, throw away the Xbox if you can't moderate your habits, and grow up.

penelopekitty · 2020-01-22T12:10:18+00:00

An artist ex of mine was like this. He claimed he was working (painting) all night. He was really getting high and on the phone with his other girlfriend who lived out of state. Somehow he had neglected to tell ne about her. Whenever he stayed at my place he was out like a light.

c0nfusednangry · 2020-01-22T09:48:10+00:00

Sometimes the active sign doesn’t mean he’s actually awake - maybe his computer is still on? Unless he messages you back if you text him at that time.

Studies show that you fall asleep easier when you’re next to someone you love, so that could be the case.

StillAwakeofCourse · 2020-01-22T10:15:28+00:00

This is a red flag to me, or at least a pink one. My ex is a gamer, and probably porn sick, and would stay up all hours, for our entire relationship. He would be "tired" at the weekend and I'd be with the kids by myself while he lounged in bed until midday or later. He would prioritise his gaming and (probably) wanking over being a responsible adult and getting enough sleep to maintain his physical and mental health. He was acting like a teenager, and I enabled it in many ways. I didn't see this as a problem when we were young, but as the years passed, he never grew up. I filled the gaps.

I will never, ever be with a man who doesn't prioritise his schedule to include good sleep habits, good eating habits, and an exercise routine. How can we build a life together without something as basic as these?

kantarra · 2020-01-22T11:52:06+00:00

I think it's concerning. It might be as simple as a sleep disorder- but there are ways of treating it, and if that really is what's happening, then him not making the effort to find a treatment that works for him shows he is not so responsible/careful of his health.

Then again, it might just as well be an addiction or that he's looking at porn, he'd hardly tell you about those.

Nifteroni-and-Cheese · 2020-01-22T15:56:34+00:00

I have a sleep disorder and know a lot about the processes of getting diagnosed and treatment. If he actually has problems, he can make an appointment with a sleep specialist (most insurance covers this as an office visit). Most of the time they have to fill out a month’s worth of a sleep/caffeine/alcohol tracker. (A lot of people who think they have disordered sleep abuse uppers and downers, mostly caffeine and alcohol.) If at that point there’s an actual problem, there are medications you can take to solve the problem, from stuff as mild as melatonin (available in gummy form from most grocery stores) to medications they don’t give to people under 25 because they can have an effect on brain growth.

What I’m trying to say is if he has disordered sleeping, it’s a medical problem that he’s not handling. If he doesn’t have disordered sleep, or a job like in the medical field where his sleep schedule is messed up because of work, then he’s just being an adolescent with no self control.

Honestly unless it’s directly related to work, I’d run. And even if it is for work, do you really want to deal with that long term? This isn’t going to change unless he decides to change it, and you should never rely on the hope that he might change.

lilith1993 · 2020-01-22T20:17:29+00:00

Does he play any video games?

Title	Questionable sleeping pattern?
Author	lilith1993
Upvotes	9
Comments	16
Date	January 22, 2020 9:36 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/es9oxn/questionable_sleeping_pattern/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/questionable-sleeping-pattern.723277 https://theredarchive.com/post/723277

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