Return the whole man.

In mid-October, I sustained a concussion in a bike accident. It wasn't until a few days later, when my headache was only getting worse and I was extremely dizzy, that I went to the doctor and got diagnosed. I ended up taking a week off of work, experiencing dizziness, nausea, migraines, extreme sensitivity to light and sound, frequent rushes of blood to my head when standing or sitting, fatigue: the works, basically. For the first 10 days, my boyfriend of three years was very understanding and compassionate. I was wiped out and just not up for it and we didn't have sex during that time.

But then, around day 11, the Nationals won the World Series. We were watching the game together and, as my headache came roaring back, I turned away from the TV. Eventually, while he watched the postgame, I went to his bedroom and curled up in bed, feeling like my head was going to split open. After awhile, he came in and asked if I was going to bed -- odd question since I was in bed with the lights off. I said yes. He said, "Should I take you home?" And I said "It doesn't really matter..." And he said he would take me home because the Nats winning the World Series was supposed to be a big happy night for him and he didn't want to be reminded of something frustrating and disappointing, like us not having sex. I protested that I wasn't trying to be frustrating and disappointing, and he said "I would hope not," and drove me home in the middle of the night.

The next day, neither of us contacted the other. I felt under the weather and disturbed by his behavior. The day after that, I called him in the morning and left a message when he didn't answer. I said that I hoped we could talk that day, as I was troubled by what had happened the other night. Around midnight, I texted him to say I was turning in for the night and that I still hoped to talk to him soon. A few minutes after I turned my phone off, he texted that he was leaving town for a few days to visit family -- a last-minute trip -- and that it would be better to talk when he got back. The next morning, I called him again and he ignored my call. I texted him to please drop by on his way out of town -- even if it was only to say goodbye, and save a longer conversation for another time. He didn't respond to my message until a few hours later, after he'd left town. (All of this is unusual for him -- he's usually very open about his schedule, responds to texts and calls right away, and we typically see each other every other night).

I felt (and honestly still feel) bewildered and blindsided by his behavior: he's 34, we've been together for years, and here he was treating me in a way that I would never treat him. I thought his initial behavior was shitty -- I felt like I was being punished for not having sex, and that when I tried to engage with him in good faith to patch things up, he was continuing to punish me and stress me out while I was still struggling to recover from a concussion (and I can't say the stress helped... my symptoms got worse under stress those days that he was freezing me out). All the while, in my head I was begging him to try to explain the situation to someone else: "Yes, my girlfriend was recovering from a concussion and then she didn't want to have sex even though the Nats won the World Series so I drove her home in the middle of the night and skipped town and have basically totally blown her off! But I'm in the right, aren't I?"

When he came back to town, I said we needed to take a break. He was just putting too much pressure on me around sex. I told him I would feel like I couldn't say no to sex when I knew he might react in that extreme way again. We've been seeing each other occasionally, while I'm taking time to think about the relationship, and I miss him. I really do love him, and have never had that kind of connection with anyone else. But I feel extremely shitty about the way he's acted in this situation, from start to finish -- and it's clear that he still feels he's in the right. He's said as much -- in addition to suggesting that I would feel the same way if, for example, Elizabeth Warren won the presidency and I wanted to celebrate and he didn't want to have sex. I can assure you I would not feel the same way he seems to have felt -- I wouldn't feel wronged, and it's hard to imagine even feeling disappointed (like, in him? for having a headache?). I think I'd be worried about his headache. The truth is, I would never have treated him this way. I can't even imagine being 'mad' at him for not wanting to have sex. For any reason. He even concedes that he knows (and knew at the time) that I wasn't trying to "ruin" his night, but still feels like he's in the right in the way he reacted.

Have I done something wrong here? I did try to get in touch with him, but not excessively (two phone calls, a few texts saying that I was disturbed by the situation and that I didn't want to leave it unresolved for several days since I feared the situation would only solidify in a bad way). So I don't know what to do, or how to think about him and his behavior, or how to assess my own. I can't see anything I did wrong (sustain a head injury? yes, my bad) and I can't describe what he did without making him sound like a total prick. I don't know how to think about this.