Why doesn’t he like me? Why won’t he text back? Is it normal he likes other women’s photos on Instagram? Why did he seem so interested and then fade away? How do I get him to be romantic? Why am I not a priority in his life?

What do all these questions have in common?

Low self-esteem. A common symptom of pickme disorder.

You wouldn’t ask any of those questions if you were secure in yourself and your value.

Sometimes, when you spend excessive time trying to decode a man’s actions, you need to look inwards instead. Ask yourself if your self-esteem is okay.

All of the above questions pedestalize men as if they are these mysterious creatures who need us to decipher them and figure out how to make them expressive.

Sis, that’s too much work. It’s not that deep, if he is into you, you‘ll know it, and there will be no doubt. If he wants to take you out, you’ll know it, and you won’t have to drop any hints. If he respects you, he won’t sexualize your conversations. If he respects himself, he wouldn’t watch porn or leer at other women. It is quite simple. Embrace the simplicity of male psychology and don’t waste any more time trying to decipher signs.

If he’s not treating you the way you want to be treated, leave. If he doesn’t seem to put effort in the beginning, take it as a sign he won’t put effort in later, and leave.

You need your self-esteem to be healthy so that you don’t fall into a loop of pedestalizing, romanticizing, and idealizing. Asking yourself, why not me? What’s wrong with me? How can I change him? Take his actions at face-value and stop problem-solving.

Your ideal HVM is straightforward, cleary into you, and not a mystery. Mysterious LVM are not mysterious at all. If he ever were to give you straight answers, you’d see how boring he is.

If you find yourself asking questions that knock you down a peg and place his feelings and thoughts above yours, it is time to check why your self-esteem is so low. It’s time you value yourself and your time.