Should I cut this man off?

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-08-31T21:53:24+00:00

Yes. He's using you. You're a fuck buddy to him but he won't fess up because then he couldn't keep getting sex from you. No man who is truly interested in you is going to tell you after a month and a half that he's just seeing where things go.

neonfairylights · 2020-09-01T03:59:45+00:00

Lol he wants to take things slow but wants to have sex? Yeah he's using you. Leave.

heleninthealps · 2020-08-31T21:57:04+00:00

Everyone with me?

Ok. 1...2...3 🎤

🎼Reeeeeeeeeeeead the handbooook 🎵🎶

What you have overlooked: 1. We don't ask where things are going early. We keep seeing other men until they ask us to be exclusive.

We don't have sex before this said exclusivity or this early in the dating process.
Believing anything a man says this early after you ask.
Taking things slow but having sex is an oxymoron.

cassabell1894 · 2020-09-01T04:46:53+00:00

I remove men from my life who say they want to "see where it goes". They do it to keep you on the hook while they still date other women. Most men will put in the least amount of effort if they can get away with it. Withdraw your attention from him. One of two things will happen. He'll amp up the attention over time and allude to being exclusive, or he'll let it dissipate into nothing. They are like three year olds. They mostly respond when attention is withdrawn. But really, I would just tell him it's over. Or block him from your life.

honeybeeroll · 2020-09-01T04:48:54+00:00

Listen to your gut. ALWAYS. it is not wrong. Beneath all the pickme conditioning we've all been fed, we do actually know what's good for us, but our brain tends to override it with pickme over thinking

Your gut says there is something wrong with the lack of commitment this far in. Your gut is right. YOU know ~7 weeks in is enough time for him to know if he wants to be with you. He has not asked you to be exclusive because he doesn't

Some really important stuff

1) do not sleep with or do ANYTHING other than kissing until after commitment is established. Most men do not take a woman seriously if she sleeps w/ him before commitment

2) waiting until after commitment for sex weeds out the guys who are just dating you for sex only. More than an couple weeks (or less) w/o anything other than kissing, and any man who's only trying to get laid will show his true colors.

3) a man sleeping with you doesn't mean he really likes you. A man will never pass up sex w/ an attractive woman.

4) don't ever ask a man where this is going. If you have to ask, that very likely means it's going nowhere. And once you ask, he knows you want something serious, he knows he doesn't, but he also doesn't want to lose you, so he'll give a vague response in order to keep you around. As opposed to committing to you, which he would do of his own accord if he REALLY liked you. Don't ask because it's like showing him your cards. If a guy you're seeing doesn't commit to you in your reasonable time frame, then you have to drop him.

Rereading the handbook is a good idea, all this stuff is covered in it, and more.

2020-09-01T03:36:03+00:00

Option 1... Your gut is saying the pace is too slow and something is off so drop him. I personally feel based on your short post and limited info that he is leaning back and it is putting you in the pursuer role which is just miserable. Your post almost sounds pick-me. Like why isn’t he moving things forward and picking me. To me that means you aren’t your best high value self with him and he isn’t making you feel like a goddess. Option 2.... you are annoyed by his pace but don’t feel any bad gut feeling. Pull away without verbalizing it. Go slower than him. So if he wants to go at turtle speed, you go at snail speed. Slow paces can be healthy. I would give it time as painful as it is depending on your gut.

feminologie_ · 2020-09-01T10:21:56+00:00

Sis please read the handbook. It explicitly tells us to hold off on sex to force the man to prove himself worthy of a relationship. he seems to be using you and has no intention of committing, especially because he wants to "see where it goes" which is basically code for "I'm going to use you until it's no longer convenient for me." Don't let him do that to you. A month and a half is way too early to be sleeping with someone already. That's the opposite of taking things slow. Chances are if you would have made him wait several months, he would have gotten frustrated and just ended things with you. Men can only use you when you allow them to.

At this point there's not much left to do other than block/delete. Unless you want a FWB type situation.

2020-09-01T06:39:26+00:00

I don't mean this in a callous way, but aren't we all adult women? Why do so many grown women come to this sub asking why a guy they barely know but they've been sleeping with won't commit to a relationship? Come on. We know why. Please stop sleeping with dudes who've made no commitment or investment if you're looking for a real relationship.

4ndroid420 · 2020-09-01T22:04:44+00:00

I cut him off yesterday! Decided to move on w my life 🤟🏼 but thank you for your responses! Also idk how to ask the moderators but this is not a throwaway account, I’m just not super active on reddit. Is there anyway to change the flare?

letsberealforamoment · 2020-08-31T22:06:12+00:00

[removed]

2020-09-01T14:43:20+00:00

Just cause he pays for dinner doesn’t make it not an FWB

Dates don’t mean they like you - everyone likes activities. Dates are just the bare minimum that people should do to get to know each other romantically. Frankly even friends go places to hang out and we don’t get super fussed about the excitement of the activity.

If he doesn’t know, next

Title	Should I cut this man off?
Author	4ndroid420
Upvotes	1
Comments	14
Date	August 31, 2020 4:38 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ijrn5u/should_i_cut_this_man_off/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/should-i-cut-this-man-off.173594 https://theredarchive.com/post/173594

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