Small lies?

BasieSkanks · 2020-09-06T19:02:00+00:00

He’s already gaslighting you. He told you something and then when you confronted him about it, he denied ever saying it. Generally speaking, you know what needs to happen here. You cannot trust a liar. “Small” lies will eventually become much bigger ones if they haven’t already. If you don’t have trust in a relationship, you have absolutely nothing. Block, delete and move on.

PS: there is no way of knowing if someone is your dream guy if you haven’t met in person. It’s very easy for someone to misrepresent themselves over text/video call. You’re far too invested in this person who is already lying to you.

divination__ · 2020-09-06T19:02:23+00:00

omg, honey, this is such a red flag.

"he told me that he never said that"

so he not only lied to you, but then he tried to gaslight you about it? that is so much worse than simply owning up to the lie.

honestly, this shows the character of a person. at best, he is deeply insecure and lies just to make himself feel better. at worst, he knows what he is doing and testing your limits to see what you will let slide. if you have to wonder if a guy is a psychopath, then i can tell you right now - it is not worth sticking around to find out,

side note: "He is very kind, normal and reliable and he never ever sext me, gave fake compliments, asked for pics, lied about anything" these are the BASICS, not qualifiers for a dream guy. he is not your dream guy, your dream guy would never give you reason to doubt his integrity. he would respect you too much. block, block, block.

bloomingbag · 2020-09-06T19:31:31+00:00

The last man I was involved with told small “harmless” lies. Nothing to make himself seem sexier or smarter but just senseless ones, as if he a. Didn’t remember he’d told me something different b. Knew he had and was seeing if I would call him out (I didn’t, I was too shy and still too in my pickmeisha ways to feel confident in doing so because I would always think, “nah. You just remembered it wrong, obviously.” Or c. Did know and didn’t care/found it entraining to tell me different things at different times and never be called out even once. Some examples:

my brother works for x company which is why I have this product. If he didn’t then I couldn’t afford it. Later, “oh my brother works for y company.”

Guess he was just lying so I wouldn’t know he had $ enough to buy product from x company.

“I don’t have any tattoos.” Months later ~ me: oh, what’s that? Him: a tattoo. Me: you have a tattoo? Him: since I was 16.

Him: I want us to be exclusive. Him to me AGAIN a couple days later following up on that conversation: I didn’t say that, did I? I’m not ready. I like to take these kinds of things slowly.

Those are only some of the examples. He was beautiful, had a PhD from an Ivy League university and many other outward achievements etc that encouraged me to overlook it all for a long time.

All to say, he turned out to be an extremely emotionless, callous man who dropped me and never ever looked back after I agreed to completely give myself up for him to make him happy.

If you continue with this man, nothing good will come of it, I promise you. I wish I could go back and tell myself the same. It only hurt me. Deeply.

sewingmachinesavior · 2020-09-06T19:25:22+00:00

Lies and inconsistent stories are a HUGE GINORMOUS GARGANTUAN red flag.

bloomingbag · 2020-09-06T19:21:48+00:00

[deleted]

dntbfllikeidid · 2020-09-06T19:18:32+00:00

You never met the guy in person, so as far as we all know he could be lying about absolutely EVERYTHING, and what is worse is you are falling for all of his BS. Online only communication is the perfect way to show the other person only what you want them to see. He is creating this whole fake persona to get your attention and admiration, and it’s clearly working well for him. In other words, you are being played, sis! 🤷🏼‍♀️

2020-09-06T20:10:21+00:00

We cannot justify small poor character traits from men. They are indicators of bigger issues that you just haven’t been victim to yetx

hvwthrowaway · 2020-09-06T20:03:36+00:00

he is doing everything perfectly. except these small lies

the things that seem “perfect” just seem that way cause they haven’t been revealed as lies yet.

if he lies about small things, he’s willing to lie about big things.

i get lying about things that are maybe uncomfortable or too private, but lying about language skills and your hometown reveal that he has self-esteem issues and is unhappy with who he is = RED FLAG.

it’s easy to get attached to an image you create in your mind of someone over online dating. i’d say stop before you get too attached, i had to learn the hard way.

Partypuppers · 2020-09-06T20:40:35+00:00

He's not worth your time. He shouldn't be lying period. Small lies lead to big lies and he's already tried to gaslight you. Next him, honey.

bloomingbag · 2020-09-06T20:54:34+00:00

[deleted]

2020-09-07T07:35:15+00:00

Sometimes people tell small white lies because in reality nothing bad happened but they realize that when they're honest, it looks very bad for them. And when a white lie is being told no one usually says they never said them nor will they try to gaslight you. Because it was a harmless small lie that just seemed like a good choice at the time. A lot of people can even come clean about the white lie too.

Lying about your wealth or brain capacity is not a small thing in my opinion.

Edit: white lies aren't being told all the time. If someone lies about small things all the time I can guarantee you this person is just a pathological liar and lies about things way bigger and worse.

Title	Small lies?
Author	bloomingbag
Upvotes	18
Comments	19
Date	September 6, 2020 6:41 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/inrezn/small_lies/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/small-lies.271412 https://theredarchive.com/post/271412

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