TL;DR- how do you move on from a long-term relationship where you’ve been conditioned to be dependent on your partner?

Some background info:

I’ve been in a relationship for 7 years, and things have really gone to shit in the last year. He’s started being verbally abusive, acting suspicious financially (he’s always kept a separate bank account which is whatever I guess but he recently paid for an entirely separate amazon prime account... money missing that he “can’t” account for, buying big-ticket items without at least telling me beforehand, etc) In the past month he has admitted to having multiple girls’ numbers in his phone -who I’ve never met or heard of- which he said was for work.. but he works a blue-collar job outside and one of the girls is a receptionist who works literally like 2 buildings over in an office (for the same company, but still.) he goes places that I’m not comfortable with regardless of what my opinion is, his friends are super shady and many of them have had affairs, trade nude pics which I think is bizarre, among other things.

Ugh this all sounds so embarrassing and pathetic. The problem is that this just happened in the last YEAR! I was completely blindsided, and that brings me to my question...

HOW on earth do I start over? I have two young kids, one isn’t even old enough to start school yet. My husband makes great money (considering his occupation) and I’m over here with no college degree, no work experience for the last 8 years, a SAHM basically at my husband’s request for this entire time. I’m so naive to the world in general.. finances, insurance, bills, everything. I feel like I have zero confidence or real world experience.

I’m meeting with a divorce lawyer secretly next week. It comforts me to know that I’ll hopefully get some advice and a clearer picture of what my options are/what the future might hold, but the thought of losing my safety net and starting over as a single mom is TERRIFYING. I feel so insecure and beaten down, it scares the absolute shit out of me.

I would love any resources, advice, wisdom, or encouragement. I desperately want to be confident and self-sufficient. Sorry this was so long, and please let me know if this is better suited for a different sub (besides r/relationships)