Hi ladies! I thought I'd share my field reports with you. Last summer to fall I was actively dating, winding down before Christmas and taking a break until now. Most people that I met were from dating apps. These were my first dating experiences. None of these dates turned into a relationship, so I decided to take some time off, heal, and try again in the future. During my break, I came across FDS and I've had a lot of time to learn and think about things that went wrong. I've had a lot of time to self reflect, and I am thinking about dating again in the near future, but in the meantime, I want to share my field reports! I am no longer sensitive about any of these stories, so ladies, if you have something to say, don't hold back. I realize I was a push over and I was complacent about too many things. I wanted to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and I just thought, "this is how dating goes." I'm hoping some of you can learn from my experiences, or have a laugh, and I also hope that you will share your advice with me!

Me: Late 20s, university degree, professional job, looking for relationship.

Guy 1: Early 30s, college degree, retail store manager, 2 roommates. Says he wants a relationship.

Date 1 - Dinner & Movie: I picked the place because said date asked me to ride the train for about an hour so that he could pick me up in his car and we could go to dinner or a movie in his neighborhood. I was not about to get into a stranger's car, so I asked to meet halfway at a mall where there were plenty of restaurants. He agrees. The date is okay. The conversation is pretty good but I felt awkward when he started telling me really personal stuff about his family because he "already felt comfortable around me." He mentions how he wants to get married in the next 5 years and have a few children. I say I am looking for a relationship if it is the right person. He paid for dinner, then asked me to watch a movie with him, which was playing at the theater right next to the restaurant. I agreed and we go to the automatic machines to buy tickets. I walk up to the same machine as him, where he proceeds to purchase 1 ticket for himself and nothing for me. Embarrassed and confused, I walk over to the next machine and buy my own ticket. Once the movie starts, I am literally kicking myself for agreeing to watch a movie with this guy. I really hate people who talk during movies, and this guy kept ad-libbing and talking under his breath. He also decided to hold my hand during the movie, which I am normally okay with, however he did not let go of my hand for the ENTIRE TWO HOUR MOVIE. Being "polite" and giving the benefit of the doubt, I figure I'll give him another chance because he seemed to really like me.

Date 2 - Game Board Cafe & Ice-cream: He's really late to meet me and no communication about running late. He was so late I was standing up to leave thinking I got stood up when he finally showed up. He doesn't have any excuse for being late other than he underestimated how long it would take to get to the location. Since he has finally shown up, I stay. I like playing game boards, but I think this activity is better for groups, not two people. I get bored, so I order too many beers to keep my buzz going - it was a bad idea. We get up to leave and to get ice-cream. At this point I know I'm too tipsy, but I don't say this to him. Anyways, next thing I know, I initiate our first kiss. After this he is super touchy/handsy for the rest of our date. Also at one point during the date I went to the bathroom, and when I came back, I could see that he was watching some bikini model's Instagram stories. Like at least wait until our date is over before you start drooling over other women.

Date 3 - Netflix & Chill: At this point, he is texting me everyday, all day long and making comments about the fact that I don't always reply to his texts right away. I was working straight nights at the time and he asked me to text him throughout the night even though he would be sleeping and not replying to me. (???). By now, I am thinking this guy is maybe a nice person, but desprate/clingy and trying to rush things. Also it didn't feel like he really liked me, It felt like he just wanted a girlfriend and I happened to be around. We go to his house for date 3. He puts on a horrible Netflix movie and we have horrible sex. The foreplay was good, which is probably why my clothes came off in the first place, but the sex was so bad, I wanted to throw everything right back on. He didn't care about my comfort at all and he even tried to remove his condom at one point thinking I wouldn't notice. Thankfully I did notice and I didn't let him touch me again after that. By the time *he* finished, I was more than ready to go home. He drops me off at the train station and is incredibly handsy in the car on the way to the station. It was rush hour traffic so the ride was SO long, and this guy tried to kiss me at EVERY SINGLE RED LIGHT. I throw his hand off my leg and stare out the window because I'm grossed out by him at this point. When I finally get out of his car to hop on the train, he asks me to message when I get home. When I'm nearly home, I type out the message and forget to hit send. The next day, instead of just asking me if I got home safe, this guy messages me a sad face emoji and says that I always forget about him - ugh. So now, I am somehow more completely turned off by his clinginess that I immediately message him that we are not a good match and I don't want to see him again. He argued a bit, but left relatively quickly. I was so relieved.

Looking back, I can't believe how bad I was at standing up for myself and how few boundaries I had. I wish I had all the knowledge I have now back then, but at least I can say that I have learned and I can move on to better things.

Comment, laugh, ask questions! I might post some more field reports about some of my other dates soon!