I have dated a lot. I've dated attractive men, ugly men, successful men, unsuccessful men, sporty men, homebodies, hard workers, lazy men, gamers and men who haven't played anything since Pokémon Red when they were 11. I've dated professionals and men working at Subway. I've dated men with multiple degrees and men who barely finished high school. I've dated men with married parents, children of divorce and men raised by single mothers.

And I can say that the SINGLE defining characteristic of a HVM vs LVM is that a HVM will value your happiness just as much as his own, if not more.

My husband shows me every day that he doesn't consider me second, or less-than: he doesn't think of me after he's done thinking of himself. He puts me first whenever he can. I am not an accessory to him, or an afterthought, and this one shift defines everything about our relationship.

That shift is seismic. That shift changes everything, and when you find it, you'll be amazed you ever put up with relationships without it. It can't be faked long-term. Nobody can pretend to care about someone in that way for any length of time because it goes against their basic nature.

When you really matter, you'll know.