Tips to recover your self esteem after falling for a fuckboy

lostinkyoto · 2020-02-11T20:38:50+00:00

Sister, I am in the same boat as you right now. Its not easy! Here is what I did/am doing:

I blocked him on everything - Instagram, Facebook, even the Xbox I purchased just to play with him. I can't see him and he can't see me. If I don't see, then I don't know, then I don't have anything new to analyze and hurt over.
I am marking on a calendar every day I go without talking to/checking up on him. It's a running tally of exactly how strong I am. And when I see my streak, I don't want to break it!
I turned to my network of girlfriends. They are so understanding and supportive. We're even doing a Galentine's dinner together!
As much as I want to just lay in bed, I force myself to go to work and engage in my usual hobbies/exercises. It's a drag but once I'm there, I'm surrounded by good people and good distractions.
Weekday evenings are the worst because I have less distractions. So I make some up - I do evening yoga, play with my dog, watch videos of puppies on Youtube, take baths...
Don't feel like you must date again right away. It's normal to feel sad and want some time to yourself. There will be ups-and-downs, some days when you feel more sad than others. When that happens, take a moment to notice the general trendline of your emotions. Are you overall feeling just a little bit better every day?
It's totally healthy to talk to a counselor or therapist about these feelings. They can help you develop positive coping strategies. And these are strategies that could be helpful for a lifetime.

You are deserving and you are powerful! Stay strong, sister!

2020-02-11T20:46:47+00:00

You shouldn't be dating again so soon, anyway; the only way to recover from being a pickme is to focus your time and attention on improving yourself and learning to love yourself enough that you don't need LV approval to feel fulfilled. Here's some things to try:

First, block him on everything. He doesn't "win" if you block him; he "wins" if you let him keep having space in your life
Reach out to and spend time with your girlfriends, especially ones you look up to as having their shit together
Keep taking care of yourself physically: sleep on a regular schedule, eat an appropriate amount of whole and balanced food, and get at least 30 min of walking every day if you can't manage more strenuous exercise. Put it in a dayplanner or calendar if necessary, and follow the schedule
Make a list of things you want to do -- books to read, events to participate in, sights to see, etc. -- then schedule time for them all

curlygirl507 · 2020-02-11T22:25:43+00:00

Make a list of all his faults, shady characteristics, etc. and read it any time you start thinking about him.

flandersmustash · 2020-02-12T21:26:24+00:00

I don’t have direct advice for how to recover from that specific scenario just how to raise it in general.

If you’re self esteem is fragile that a fuckboy can mess with it then you need to step away from dating. Get back to you, try something new, spend time in old hobbies, do something you feel improves your appearance but makes YOU feel great (e.g. i love having my nails done, I normally bite them, so they’re kinda ugly, so doing them makes me feel invincible). I’d also delete majority of social media. They bring insecurities, FOMO, comparison, temptation to stalk etc. You have your phone and your friends and families numbers if you need to check in. it’ll actually make you a better friend too, rather than observing, you’ll be interacting with people who actually matter to you.

Just spend time with you. You want to build your esteem with how you feel about yourself and your ability to accomplish things, so choose things you love and that you excel at, even tiny accomplishments. No one can take your qualities away from you. You are the only person who brings your unique personality and skills. Make more time with friends and family. Talk to them, spend time, realise how much they love you.

No one can fuck with you if you have that energy. Build it first, then you’ll never have to recover it from anyone, because you’ll realise you are still you, and the parts that are amazing about you will always be amazing. You are always good enough. You are just choosing people who decide not to respect it. If someone can’t see your qualities, that’s a them problem and not a you problem.

RiteWriter · 2020-02-12T00:12:04+00:00

I neeeeed this toooooooooo

Focus hard on career and goals and things that make you feel amazing

bitch_not_it · 2020-02-12T07:13:54+00:00

To be completely honest, what's helped me the most is what FDS has set as one of its cornerstone rules for dating - always be dating MORE than one. The quickest way out of a heartbreak over a LVM fuckboy you thought was HVM and were so happy and hopeful before he dashed it.. is to find a bunch of more guys to talk to.. because a part of why it may be hard to get over that fuckboy/how you even fell for his fuckery, is this feeling of missed opportunity, like you feel like you're never going to be able to find anyone you like/consider HVM and this guy was it. But when you see all the guys, you realize all the opportunities you have as a HVW to keep trying. And this in effect will make it way easier to keep you from trying to check his social media, contacting him, etc. I hope that helped

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Title	Tips to recover your self esteem after falling for a fuckboy
Author	jackofhearts23
Upvotes	91
Comments	9
Date	February 11, 2020 7:50 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/f2dtj2/tips_to_recover_your_self_esteem_after_falling/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/tips-to-recover-your-self-esteem-after-falling-for.682802 https://theredarchive.com/post/682802

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