Hey sis. I have these feelings going through my heart and this is the only community I can share it with. This might be long to read and am sorry about it. I come from a 3rd world country and I have always been taught since childhood that studying hard would be the key to success. So that's all I able to do... My father sent me to a 1rst world country to get an education, a couple years ago, but unfortunately he cut all the financial help in the middle of my studies. So I was a broke international student and no amount of job could have helped me pay the 9000$ fees per semester. Fortunately I was dating a citizen guy during that time and when my dad cut all the help, he proposed to move in together in order to help me face the situation. We loved each other so I accepted coz it felt logical and natural. To sum it up I had to stop school and fix my status in the country.he gave me the papers so that I can stay and not get deported. Unfortunately the school banned me for not attending for 3 semesters and and I was devastated. Luckily after getting the papers I started a new program in a different school this semester. While all that was happening, our bedroom became dead and he stopped trying to make efforts in the relationship. Talking didn't change anything. I feel like he is ashamed of me as he shows no affection in public and treat me like a friend on the rare occasions we go out... I feel trapped coz everything was perfect in the beginning and I thought I was lucky to get a HVM. But now all am good for is to split expenses in the relationship. He always lies that he will make efforts but nothing changes and he smokes weed and watch porn. Now that I have the papers, I have government's small help (655$/ month) to go to school and I work retail on weekends. The school fees have dropped to 200$ a semester. I can't afford to live alone coz everything is expensive and am giving my all to get the education to work in the health industry. I might be set by 2022. I feel guilty of thinking about leaving after all the help he gave me but at the same time am so sad and broken from getting pity sex once a year. What would you do in my situation? Thanks for reading
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