Triggering Home Life

MsWriteNow07 · 2021-08-05T02:12:48+00:00

Been there. Gray rock them. Be completely neutral. No response or short responses. Hmmm, yea, well, you don’t say, ahh, mmm, uh-huh. Don’t feed into their negative energy. I don’t care what they say. They are going to say things specifically to trigger you. It doesn’t matter what it is, I don’t care if he says “men can cheat, women can’t” or “women shouldn’t vote.” Just ahh, oh, mmm, uh-huh. When outrageous behavior doesn’t get a response, people stop doing it.

Also, do not waste time arguing with them inside your head! I used to do that, all it’s going to do is give you a headache and raise your blood pressure. Just think about how far you’ve come. Every crazy statement from either of them, just think, I was raised by these people and now my mind is light years away from this. And honestly, focus on the positive. It seems that they’re willing to take you in. You’ve had some good times with them, I’m sure. So accentuate the positive. Maybe bring up some memories of the good times you guys have had, play some board games, etc.

My parents are definitely not the most enlightened people when it comes to dating, sex, and young women. Quarantine has been rough. After years of living solo, I came back to help out with elderly relatives during COVID. There have been times I felt like snapping, but I remembered a Louise Hay technique. Picture your parents as little two or three-year-olds. Do you know what kind of messages they received in childhood that caused them to be the way they are? Would you be angry at that little two or three-year-old? Of course not. So give them a hug and tell them everything is going to be OK. That you love them and forgive them. It really does lift the weight of the world off your shoulders

Barkingatthemoon · 2021-08-05T02:10:43+00:00

Grey stone them , talk to them enough to be polite but not enough to give them ammunition . Use the disease as a reason to be left alone , I need to rest / I have a headache and I need it to be quiet … listen to podcasts / read books / talk to us here ;) as a way to take your mind off things . Make a score board and award yourself points every time you stone walled them . See who wins ;) let us know here who wins , we’re here for you !!

The_Oracle_of_Delphi · 2021-08-05T03:54:46+00:00

Do you REALLY have to stay with them while recuperating from surgery? Aren’t there any other options, such as having a visiting nurse service check in on you? Or a friend? Think hard if you can find some other alternative…

sruslywhytho · 2021-08-05T03:26:46+00:00

I feel you. I grew up with 3 adults in my household and 1 (my grandma) was a narc who's energy ruled over the household. I spent a lot of my youth angry and bitter at her and how I'd been raised. But seeing her through a different lens made it possible for me to be around my family and keep my own peace. As a kid I saw her as an abusive bully who tore down my self esteem. As an adult I saw her as a woman who was in a lot of pain. She was parroting poor behaviors from her own messed up childhood with me. She desperately craved connection but had no clue how to build or maintain healthy relationships with the people she loved. Her decision to numb herself with alcohol as a coping mechanism only pushed people further away from her. Looking at things in this way allowed me to actually feel a great deal of empathy for my family. It didn't excuse their poor behaviors but understanding why they were how they were allowed me to step out of my role being a part of their dynamic. I became an observer. I could watch them interact and actively decide not to partake and I'd either grey rock or I'd set new boundaries in a very unemotional way without apologies. Hang in there.

ccro7 · 2021-08-05T06:34:39+00:00

Use ear plugs, listen to music etc on headphones

Title	Triggering Home Life
Author	Typical_Candle_5627
Upvotes	68
Comments	8
Date	August 5, 2021 1:35 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/oy7bkt/triggering_home_life/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/triggering-home-life.816123 https://theredarchive.com/post/816123

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