I understand this is a balancing act. Some behaviours scream LV instantly, others need further investigation.

For example, my younger sister has been seeing a guy for six months who treats her very well. There a few things that do raise questions - he is quite into PDA, has a blink 182 tattoo (from when he was young, he wants to remove it since meeting my sister who hates it haha), has some questionable friends (one guy borrows money off him, two use cocaine and seem quite rough with neck and arm tattoos and all..again, he has limited his association with them since meeting my sister).

Do we judge on the basis of such traits, or also take HV traits into account? - he works hard, always pays for my sis, is a home owner, caring/attentive, supportive of any goal my sister has, is ok with her working less or not at all in the future as he wants a family one day, has friends that are normal guys etc.