When I’m ranked at the bottom in terms of agreeability within a romantic relationship. I take it with the highest form of compliment. I truly do. Women are taught to shrink themselves to appease men. Society creates a space where men are not to be challenged. Having a voice against the strong force by the society as a whole is damn admirable, considering their endless efforts to oppress women in all areas of life.

Continuing to uphold one’s convictions and values in a relationship which can cause friction, but women are always expected to put it aside in sake of “harmony”. Men are rarely expected to be agreeable. It’s always expected of women because they are more “compassionate by nature” when both parties should be compassionate. By the way, it’s not nature, it’s due to socialization.

Women are always expected to be nurturing and “selfless” instead of being their true selves with their own needs and desires. Men are never expected to act in a same manner. So, if I’m ranked low in terms of agreeability, I know I’ve ascended from unlearning internalized misogyny. My female identity is evolving and heading in a right direction.

It is music to my ears that men don’t consider me a relationship material because of my fearless strength to rise above gender norms and be myself no matter what. I will not devote my life to soothe male ego fragility. I was given a life to do so much than that. If men find it difficult to be with me simply for having a voice. I know I am doing something right. I know I’m acting out of self-love.

Don’t take it personally when they say you’re difficult to love. That you would never find anyone who would “put up with you” as if sticking to your boundaries and self-respect is unacceptable. Walk away from that gaslighting nonsense. Your strong character is an amazing filter against gaslighting abusers, so keep your head high and know that you’re worthy of love and respect.