Don’t bother manipulating a LVM from doing weaponized incompetence. Just leave him. It will only get worse if you have children with him.

Buggy1218 · 2021-11-09T13:07:47+00:00

I remember this woman’s post. Sad. Even more so that she feels like she’s won after playing mind games and stooping to his level. This is not where it’s at.

Would it not just be easier to be single? Is he really worth all the hassle? A real partner in life will make your days LESS stressful, not more. Someone who actually loves you will want to take some of the weight off your shoulders.

shockingupdate · 2021-11-09T14:14:22+00:00

Hm. Shaming a boy into doing his chores sounds like something a mommy would do

aluriaphin · 2021-11-09T15:14:34+00:00

The fact that he maliciously ruined one of her favourite dresses is grounds for immediate dumping alone, I would not have forgiven that.

thrway01010 · 2021-11-09T13:26:27+00:00

Why would she want to stay with someone who thinks she's stupid, someone who doesn't respect her? Why put so much energy and effort in to playing stupid games and teaching him a lesson? How can anyone live like that is beyond me.

Davina33 · 2021-11-09T14:08:50+00:00

Housework is so much easier living alone. Everything stays clean because you don't have some snobby man messing up the house constantly. It's not attractive having a partner who acts like a child.

Edit, thanks for the award!

Serious_Papaya8615 · 2021-11-09T13:34:54+00:00

If men are so childish and incompetent they should be abolished from politics and any leadership roles. They’re emotionally unstable, lazy and opportunistic.

If a man pretends he cannot do basic chores to basically keep himself alive, then logically speaking he is not a functioning member of society. Women are not rehabilitation centers or caretakers for dysfunctional fucks.

hushpuppyebt · 2021-11-09T14:29:46+00:00

She’s creating bad habits for herself just to play petty oneupsman games with a NVM. As the saying goes, lay down with dogs, stand up with fleas.

WorkaholicParty · 2021-11-09T15:58:21+00:00

She should have asked him to reimburse her for the ruined dress and dumped him. Everyone here already said it all. This woman thinks she's being so smart but her scrote has been thoroughly red pilled, he's been taking note from all the scrotes on this website - it's over for him. Even if he changes and does chores mediocrely she's still in a relationship with a disgusting mysogynist. How can you live and have sex with someone like that, please love yourself a little.

drowsypillowprincess · 2021-11-09T14:17:53+00:00

Also, this doesn’t always work.

My therapist (shitty therapist) gave me this advice when my NVX would forget to take out the garbage (his ONE chore because I was killing myself doing EVERYTHING else).

The only reason it was his chore was because the dumpster in our apartment complex was in this very shady, unlit area and he felt it was a safety issue for me to bring the garbage there. He’d actually get mad if I brought the garbage out myself after getting tired of seeing it pile up in the kitchen.

But then he wouldn’t do it either. It was a lose-lose situation.

My therapist said “teach him by making him deal with the consequences of his actions; don’t take the garbage out, just let it pile up; eventually he will see how gross it gets and realize he needs to do it.”

So I did just this. I refused to take the garbage out. And it sat. And stank. And grew. It grew almost TEN BAGS DEEP in our kitchen. And he didn’t care. He was HAPPY and FINE to live in ABSOLUTE FILTH. I broke down when I saw flies in one bag and finally hauled it all out to the dumpster with a friend. It was a HUGE fight with him where he gaslight me that my “standards were too high” and he was “going to take it all out today” but I “just wasn’t patient enough” and I “put myself into unnecessary danger” by doing it myself and couldn’t I see how much that “affected him and his life” knowing I was “purposefully being unsafe” instead of “trusting him.”

🤡

It still took me longer than I like to admit to leave because by that point he’d successfully broken my self esteem down enough that I really thought I’d fucked up by taking my own goddamn garbage out.

It’s all bullshit. All of it. Any man who claims he doesn’t know how to do shit? Dump him. You can’t train him, and furthermore, why is that any woman’s responsibility??? Men think women come pre-programmed with chore competence, I swear. No. We fucking learned. YouTube exists. Call your mom and ask. Fucking try and get better.

But try on your own time. I’ll never teach a grown man how to be an adult again.

notallowed2havepizza · 2021-11-09T12:29:16+00:00

Relationships shouldn’t be a war. It should be a harmonious team, supporting and respecting each other.

Edit: A redditor made a great point about how weaponized incompetence is manipulative and borderline abusive. https://ibb.co/rsMGHR7

More edit: Wow! From OP: https://ibb.co/Z8jbZjr

daisy_0720 · 2021-11-09T18:34:18+00:00

Women collectively need to stop fucking these men. If they handle basic tasks with the cognitive ability of a mentally deficient 2 year-old, they sure as hell can't consent to sex.

Tell them that having sex with them would basically be assault because they can't give informed consent.

JulyParade · 2021-11-09T15:09:09+00:00

I feel bad for the children she'll inevitably have with this guy. He's not going to do a damn thing for them and she can't sink to his level with a baby.

Cel_Gabe · 2021-11-09T15:34:55+00:00

You're right, she should have dumped him. The mind games one has to play in order to beat them at their game isn't worth it obviously.

But there was a part of me that found it hilarious. Will not recommend to do of course, but it was totally hilarious 🤣

Technical_Moth248 · 2021-11-09T16:45:41+00:00

I think if you were temporarily trapped in this scenario it can be worthwhile if only because some of it is funny, but you’re right. She’s obviously not in the dark on the way he was mistreating her, and just because he got a little better with it doesn’t mean anything. He wasn’t actually willing to lower his standard of living to unsafe levels, he was just willing to let her items get ruined and to eat from things that potentially make her sick, not him or anyone else. She rewarded this with making food for his work party (that he still ruined despite having a single task that takes almost no time). He thinks she’s an idiot. You can’t overcome that.

I wouldn’t have made it past the dress. My late husband ruined one of my favorite sweaters because he didn’t check well and left a pen in one of his pockets. It was cute and light pink with a MASSIVE black stain on it. I was livid and cried even though I knew it was a genuine accident (never happened in the many times before and after). He felt horrible, acknowledged that it was his mistake and apologized profusely, then asked if I would be comfortable with him tracking down one that was the same or similar and buying it as a replacement. I agreed and he found one that looked very close and was even nicer quality. That is the only acceptable way of handling it. It would’ve been easy to say “oops, sorry! It’s just clothes though” or throw in that some of his clothes had been ruined too, but he was not that kind of person and I would not have dealt with that.

Fuckdoesithurt956 · 2021-11-09T15:56:48+00:00

As much as I enjoy him having to eat from his own dirty dishes, this isn't a long term solution. Say if she had to care for a sick relative or newborn, she'd have no emotional or mental bandwidth to play these games. And ultimately it doesn't change that he attempted to decieve her into playing "Mom" out of pure laziness. The insult would be too much for me.

throwawayaway388 · 2021-11-09T13:52:22+00:00

They're both a mess. If you feel you have to stoop to this, leave. Wearing a bleach stained dress in public because your man is stupid and lazy and you want to make a point is so ridiculous and embarrassing.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-11-09T14:55:37+00:00

she feels petty!?

her mental load just increased. tremendously, even.

there was a post by a man who "taught" other men like him how to pretend to be incompetent so they would never be asked to move a finger when it came to house duties or chores. he said his wife asked for him to put some clothes in the washing machine. and you know what this man did? he intentionally poured bleach on them all and pressed start.

when she took the clothes out of the washing machine, they were all ruined. he said she never asked him to do a chore ever again. it was on some male sub that's now gone private.

I think this is what this guy wants to accomplish as well.

xfelugirlx · 2021-11-09T14:22:58+00:00

That sounds exhausting af, you aren’t his mom just dump him

myeggsarebig · 2021-11-09T14:32:00+00:00

Every day. Every. Single. Day. I asked myself: do these people really need the whole internet to convince them that their partner is LV?

Yes. They do. And it’s annoying.

radfem_babe · 2021-11-09T16:49:19+00:00

Leave his ass as soon as the bullshit starts.

KateJ1982 · 2021-11-09T18:51:26+00:00

Her tricks would be great for parenting a lazy ten year old. But a grown man?? What a sad waste of energy and time trying to trick this loser into pulling his weight around the house. If he had any respect for her, himself, or their relationship, he’d be trying to build a happy life and home with her. Instead he’s trying to see how far he can push her and how little he can invest in their life together. Embarrassing all around.

scorchedsouI · 2021-11-09T15:29:00+00:00

She isn't petty, she's just an idiot. Imagine wasting your time messing around with a worthless loser as if it's an infinite resource. Just tell the scrote to kick rocks, it's not like lazy men aren't a dime a dozen these days.

waddamelone · 2021-11-09T17:30:47+00:00

Only read the first screenshot but that’s enough. Throw him out of the apartement.

ironglaciers · 2021-11-09T17:35:57+00:00

A man like this is not worth the effort, period. He knew what he was doing. Fuck him. Leave.

Sallou9 · 2021-11-09T20:42:16+00:00

My question is WHY ARE YOU STILL WITH HIM.

Women will literally point out, as this lady did, that their SO deliberately tries to use them as a live in maid, disrespects them, treats them poorly etc And they will be like "gee what a dick" but stay. I do not understand straight Women sometimes, sorry if that is offensive to say.

2021-11-09T18:30:46+00:00

I did this to my ex husband. Turns out I can stand a lot more dirt than he can.

miwamus · 2021-11-09T18:55:48+00:00

Lol, I found this hilarious. But, yeah, dump him.

The_Cat_Empress · 2021-11-09T17:36:29+00:00

Okay okay I get why ladies are annoyed/frustrated in the comments. But I find it kind of funny… Though after a couple times of being aloof and giving him a taste of incompetence the final “screw you” would be to throw his bags to the curb. Get your fun out as revenge for the bleach stained dress I guess but still, DUMP HIM!!

radfem_babe · 2021-11-09T16:50:20+00:00

Dishes are one thing, you have to share them. But why are you doing his laundry?

resilientspirit · 2021-11-10T00:09:43+00:00

If she has kids with him, she can't pull the same stunt. Because a guy like this will be totally fine letting his own children suffer. She'll have to step up every damn time when the options are "do the thing, or watch my kids suffer".

That's what happened to me. I wasn't willing to let my kids suffer because their dad refused to do anything. Oddly, he was perfectly capable of stepping up after I stepped out. It just proves he was capable the whole time, and actively chose to exploit me instead.

We have a 60/40 split in custody, because it's the best I could get (I have 60). The only way he would actually take responsibility was court ordered.

Muffcakelord · 2021-11-10T01:25:53+00:00

This is a wonderful prank and experiment and proof of the phenomena and i'm thankful she did it for science but i just cannot imagine how she or anyone else manages to have sex while this is happening. How is it even possible not to hate your partner while in this situation? Obviously dump block delete is the solution that should have been used from step 1 but i keep thinking about this

TikiTikiTata-chalala · 2021-11-09T21:04:49+00:00

All her wasted energy on these things justttttttttt 🤦‍♀️ you aren't married! Why try to live with him when he pulls this? Why save something you have an easy out for? If he pulls this on you and you aren't married LEAVE HIM and save yourself a lasagna and load of dishes and a nice dress

Joan_of_Spark · 2021-11-10T01:50:08+00:00

I would be disgusted. I wouldn't put up with this level of selfishness from a friend, let alone someone who is supposed to be sharing my life with me. I can't understand the awful thought process of any guy who tries to pull this, and it would be exhausting to constantly play mindgames with a glorified toddler.

blackgirlnorhythm · 2021-11-09T13:36:04+00:00

Unfortunately, I’m this petty. They’re just natural consequences 🤷🏽‍♀️🌚

Zurflu · 2021-11-09T14:28:16+00:00

I bet she exaggerated the extent that he actually cared about her dress, the dirty dishes, etc. She probably had to point each of those things out for him to notice. Most guys aren't gonna see their gf wearing a ruined dress and think "oh shit, I should start caring about housework more and pull my weight!!". Whole story kinda sus.

mandoa_sky · 2021-11-09T13:43:51+00:00

silver lining of adhd - i can have days where i forget to feed/cook for myself.

Salt_Satisfaction · 2021-11-10T12:43:19+00:00

I wouldn't be able to live with a man like this. Eventually I'd be so resentful that I'd completely explode on him. It's not worth it, much better to dump him quickly.

It's a huge disappointment when you feel you have to be nagging your partner constantly to get them to do bare minimum chores. The only way I'd understand is if they were going through a bout of severe depression and they normally had initiative (without me having to tell them to do it).

alpinepunch2021 · 2021-11-09T14:29:41+00:00

I actually don't think she's that bad. I mean yes, obviously she can do better and should leave, but given that she's not what she's doing seems a bit less bad than just perpetually trying to reason with him (which is what most well-meaning women would do). Still seems weird that she keeps serving him food, though. I've never done this for an SO and they've never asked - maybe feeling required to is where the problem starts?

neon_skelton · 2021-11-11T10:35:55+00:00

I agree. Don’t be petty, he will only drag you down to his level. Just leave and be happy with the knowledge that he’s a dirty scrote and you’re now clean.

My ex fiancé refused to change the toilet paper roll. He would take the empty roll off the holder and throw it on the floor. Wouldn’t put the empty roll in the bin next to the sink. Wouldn’t reach over and pick up a fresh roll from the stock that I kept in the toilet.

I communicated with him, I showed him step by step what I wanted him to do. I asked what he did when he finished a toilet roll at work- did he throw that on the floor and refuse to replace it for the next person who used it?

“Of course not!” He spluttered. I asked why he would be so disrespectful of his own home. That I wasn’t asking that much for him to do this. It only made him mad. If it mattered that much to me- why couldn’t I just pick up the rubbish and replace the toilet paper, as well as doing every single other task around the house?

I can’t remember who gave me this advice, but I was told to just leave the empty rolls on the floor and not to bring in new rolls into the bathroom. Surely then, he would notice the rubbish piling up. That would make him take notice and do something that literal children can do.

Only it didn’t work. I refused to clean up that particular mess but my staying with him showed my acceptance. There was over 20 empty rolls littered around the toilet and bathroom floor when my mother visited and cleaned them up.

He didn’t care. My refusal just dragged me down to his disgusting level and resulted in me living in a piggery for too long.

HydraSkyFire · 2021-11-12T11:12:33+00:00

Why go through all of this, just break up the second he does it

Feministtiktok · 2021-11-09T16:49:08+00:00

She’s really smart to do this. I would have cleaned and kicked him out honestly. I can’t stand filth. But one thing about this that makes me concerned is, is this guy the type of guy who never lived alone? And if he did live alone, was he the bad roommate? It sounds like he never had a bad roommate before. He just always was the worst roommate in a situation. I always say that you cannot be a good roommate until you’ve had bad ones. It helps you learn what it’s like to live with your boundaries broken or things not done properly. In America, they make you have a roommate at random against your will so usually people get this experience at 18-19. I’m wondering now if this guy just never went to college because the odds that he never ever had a bad roommate is way too lucky

Elegaunt · 2021-11-09T13:43:20+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Don’t bother manipulating a LVM from doing weaponized incompetence. Just leave him. It will only get worse if you have children with him.
Author	notallowed2havepizza
Upvotes	1605
Comments	104
Date	November 9, 2021 12:27 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qq2lbo/dont_bother_manipulating_a_lvm_from_doing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/dont-bother-manipulating-a-lvm-from-doing.1085065 https://theredarchive.com/post/1085065