(Tw: mentions of self harm/abuse) Simply: many people who are survivors of sexual abuse use abuse kink/physical “consensual” abuse, and BDSM to “cope” with their past trauma (I have also done this, back in my libretto days). Many people who survive sexual abuse also sometimes self harm. People who are survivors who self harm often do it to punish themselves, cope with the mental pain etc. If someone came to you, and said they were self harming, you would tell them to seek professional help. But for some reason, if that harm is coming from another person (ie knifeplay, asphyxiation, beating, consensual non consent etc) it’s ok? It’s still self harm, and an unhealthy coping mechanism, but because it benefits men’s erections and sexual perversions, being against it is “kink shaming.” Sorry but telling a guy to cut and beat you is no different from cutting and beating yourself, idc if you think its “pleasurable”, idc if you smack “kink” on top. If I consensually told my husband to shoot me or cannibalize me, he would still go to jail if he did so. And any person who wants to be mutilated and abused seriously should seek professional help.