Before starting, I don't want to shame masculinity. I love masculinity but over representation of anything is bad.

Today's society is sending mixed opportunistic messages to men just how u/TheTinmen said in his last post. The society is saying men be masculine, be a real man, respect women but on the other side the society also saying to men be feminine and soft that's what women want, be like women and don't open the door for women they can do it. It certainly shows that we are as a society failing to understand men or not giving the opportunity to listen to them.

Other than this attitude of the society I have another issue is locking men inside the masculine box. The definition of a masculine man can vary from person to person. For some, it can be a macho, rude man who is bullying people to show his dominance, a muscular man who is shredded, a good bearded man with curly mustache, or a confident, bold man who is not afraid of anything like a warrior etc. Now as men are not some industrial products who all will have the same qualities and if not you can just throw it, called it defective or complain it but that's what I see most of the time and I am sick of it.

If a man is not behaving manly then people make fun of it, a man taking care of his skin is somehow feminine or girly (why? Men have skin too.), a man wearing feminine dresses is not a man (it's called as cross dressing why?), a man taking care of his children, playing with them is somehow not manly (c'mon, you only society says to us to show emotions and now I am showing my fatherly emotions) a man who is not good in bed, who is having sexual issues or a man must be good in bed and must be knowing how to please women is manly, a man must be provider, a man must be a protector etc. And if the man failed to fulfill this checklist then the society derails him, called emasculate, shame them for not being a real man. And surprisingly, if man fulfills this checklist then he is toxic masculine. C'mon stereotypes are bad, saying women are weak and men are strong is bad then why saying men are violent, toxic is not bad. Saying, men are toxic because they are following masculine traits is stereotyping men. Just now I see a post on the same sub where my friend was saying eating meat is masculine? C'mon do we now need to categories eating habits too as masculine and feminine?

So, while ending my post here I want to ask you all a question "Do you think men need to behave according to these societal expectations?"