Lopsided expectations placed on men in relationships

mewacketergi · 2019-07-21T13:01:22+00:00

These are the downsides of the male gender role. They are real. There are also some upsides left, and they are also real, and both of the same exist for the female gender role.

The nastiest and the most morally troubling problem today is not that the gender role specialization continues to exist in some very diminished capacity in the First World countries, but the social campaign to erode and diminish the remaining positives of the male gender role, while preserving the negatives, while doing the same in reverse for women.

This is where the saying "the feminists are all about equality, until it's the time to divvy up the lifeboats on a sinking ship" comes from, and it's essentially true and correct. This leads to a really, really crooked social contract for men, which is what causes anger in men we see today, and not some "male privilege" and "white fragility".

And then insult is added to the injury by placing the blame on the nebulous construct of the "patriarchy", for which men are responsible and complicit in, completely overlooking the problems of men in the traditional societies, or the obvious fact that they were not free to do whatever they pleased, either. This untruthful "men are the privileged group in society, and women, the oppressed" narrative was reinforced a few decades ago when the leftist proto-intersectionalists were gaining power in the academia.

We are also seeing a supposedly scientifically neutral and objective discipline of gender psychology being polluted by these ideological beliefs, and people with an explicitly feminist agenda like Michael Kimmel, who run upstage after the NYC presentation of the Cassie Jaye's brilliant documentary and angrily wondered "what are y'all doing discussing this issues from a non-feminist perspective??!" And these people are in charge of "studying" men and masculinities.

P.S. This is something I've seen on this subreddit: people are very quick to point fingers at the "trad cons", and have strong words for those nasty libertarians and "right-wingers", ignoring that the biggest threat to the left-wing male advocacy today comes from the left itself, with it's pervasive belief that "women are the oppressed group". And as all the leftists know, the oppressed must be lifted up at costs.

Edit:

We should also admit that there is a noticeable minority faction of egalitarian, individualist feminists who oppose the listed trends, at least when it comes to dating. They are much less interested in changing the crookedness of the social contract when it comes to other things, though.

And unfortunately, this doesn't apply a single bit to the mainstream feminist public figures, as we can see recently with the belligerent diva Roxane Gay in Australia, claiming, after a long screed about her being proud about elevating women of colour in her work, shrugging off problems of men with callous indifference: "and trust me, men are going to be just fine".

The academia and its gender studies programs are dominated by the left, and their most popular intersectionalist narrative holds the belief in that "men are privileged" as central.

heimdahl81 · 2019-07-21T17:52:27+00:00

That's an amazingly solid list. I identify with every one of those concerns. I've run into pretty much all of them in a lifetime of relationships and ended those relationships if too many of these issues persisted too long.

As a men's movement, I think we need to address dating and relationship issues. These issues bring to light a lot of the broader privileges of women and responsibilities of men.

azazelcrowley · 2019-07-21T21:00:08+00:00

When Warren Farrell switched up the genders to teach people what it's like, it says an awful lot that he decided women should be a man trying to flirt, get accepted, go on a date, and so on. That's the role he chose to grade them on and let them know every time they'd made a mistake.

TC1827 · 2019-07-21T18:15:53+00:00

I think there needs to be campaign from governments to women. An equal rights = equal responsibilities kind of campaign. Women should be socialized into start making the first move as it is the right thing to do. Being a women doesn't make you entitled to be asked out. Furthermore, there needs to be education that asking men to by handymen is like asking women to be maids & cooks. Furthermore, women earn more and need to be told that they cannot expect to be supported and need to be open to marrying down, the way men have to be. You get the gist

Tmomp · 2019-07-26T02:26:25+00:00

I would add: Listening and supporting without judging

Melthengylf · 2019-09-07T03:26:46+00:00

The way to fight this is to not be desperate for a woman, and date one that acknowledges you as a person. Yes, that means it will be more difficult, but a fight is not supposed to be easy. The woman I'm dating is very active in initiating sexual interaction, and she's very compassionate with my vulnerabilities.

If she doesn't accept your vulnerabilities and weakness or doesn't want to have sex with you enthusiastically, search another.

Look, if lesbians can, why wouldn't can we?

Title	Lopsided expectations placed on men in relationships
Author	serpentineeyelash
Upvotes	17
Comments	11
Date	July 21, 2019 12:30 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/cfyi2s/lopsided_expectations_placed_on_men_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/lopsided-expectations-placed-on-men-in.1064648 https://theredarchive.com/post/1064648

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