Betrayal

I've been seeing a few cautionary tales lately from men who have been screwed over by women close to them. I wanted to share my story. Its a long one so strap in.

When I was still a toddler, my parents divorced. My father disappeared and I've never seen him since. My mother dropped me off at her sister's house and never looked back. I was subsequently adopted by my aunt and uncle and was raised by them until I was an adult. My mother stayed in my life though. Always coming around at Christmas and birthday to shower me with gifts. I thought the world of her. Everything about her was the coolest thing that I could brag to my friends about while secretly hating the people who were actually raising me for being so lame. We lived in the south and the only thing I could think about while growing up was leaving and going to sunny California to be closer to my "real" mom. Several years later she remarried another guy and had two girls with him. I was thrilled when they were born. I finally had some sisters, someone I could actually biologically relate to. But we grew up several states apart from each other and they were distant when I did get to spend time with them. Before long though she cheated on him with his coworker and abandoned those girls as well.

Fast forward until adulthood. I moved to California at 21 and stayed with my mother. I was there for only a few months before her 4th husband and I started to butt heads and I was kicked out on the street with just some ratty suitcases. Before this happened my mother had a talk with me one night at dinner. She told me how guilty she felt about how my things went for me as a child. She blamed herself and she wanted me to know that if anything happened to her, she was making sure I was taken care of. She was in her mid 40s at the time and I dismissed the conversation because I didn't think this was something I would have to deal with for a long time.

Four years later while getting ready for work I got the call. She'd been killed in a car accident when husband #5 was racing another driver and their Corvette lost control. They each had a one million dollar life insurance policies and had named each other as the beneficiaries. Since they were both dead and my sisters were both 15 and 16, it all fell on me to handle everything. I had no idea what I was doing but while all the rest of the women in the family were allowed to fall apart and be complete emotional wrecks, I had to be the rock. I had to do it all. I organized the funerals, closed all accounts, handled the leases for the cars, contacted real estate agents in order to sell the house, filed for executorship of the estate which had now gone into probate since no will was found for either of them. I was completely unprepared. Even calling just to get the newspaper subscription cancelled was a monumental struggle.

After the funeral most of the family was at the house while we discussed what to do going forward. My sister's father brought up the fact that my adoption may be an issue when it comes to inheritance. I addressed with this with my sisters. We all knew what our mother's intentions were. We all made a promise right there that if there was some kind of issue we would agree to split everything three ways no matter what. I had heard stories of how money can tear families apart and I didn't want to see this happen.

I had taken some time off work to deal with all of this and we had a large project coming up that I was needed for. My sister's father convinced me to let him take over executorship. He had dealt with this kind of thing before and assured me that everything would be fine. I had no reason not to trust him. I was young and this was a really heavy thing for me to deal with. I let him take over and I went back to my life. With the sale of the cars, the house, the retirement accounts and the life insurance policies, we were looking at a couple million and some change to be split three ways. As I soon found out two million splits in two much easier than it does in three. My sister's (still both minors) hired an outside lawyer to look at the case and see what could be done. He discovered the adoption and presented this in front of the probate judge. The judge agreed that the adoption severed any legal ties that I had with my mother and therefor both sisters were named as beneficiaries of the estate. This was all done in secret while they were all still telling me everything was fine and that all we had to do was wait for probate to close before we can split the money.

A couple years later the estate closed and the truth was revealed. My sisters had cut me out. I was still being fed the same line, "Once the money is sent to us we'll send you your third". By the time I found out about this it was too late. I spoke with an attorney to see if I could make a claim but since the estate was already closed, it was too late. I may have had a case previously but since I was foolish and believed them, I had no reason to doubt that I would be taken care of.

In the end the money never came to me. The mental gymnastics my sisters pulled to justify their decision was truly astounding. "If the money was actually yours you would have it already instead of begging us for it". I appealed to a different aunt (not the one that raised me) who had become the de facto matriarch of the family. I told her how unfair this was and that my inheritance was being stolen. She said to me, and I'll never forget this, "I_hear_colors, your mother always said to me, if anything happens to me please take care of my girls. She never said anything about you I_hear_colors." And with those words the betrayal was complete. I realized that the whole family had been in supporting that decision. I immediately withdrew from everyone in my family. I sent final messages to both sisters that we are no longer family and I don't want to speak to either of them ever again. I got rid of any keepsake or memento that I had of my mother's. I didn't want to be reminded ever again of her failure as a mother. I blocked everyone on social media and told them I wanted to be left alone. It was six years after that before I was invited to another family function.

In the end my sisters kept all the money and blew through it all at an incredible rate. I moved on and abandoned any plans that I had made for that money and tried to build a life and a career for myself alone. I was angry for years and could not believe that I had been fooled. I was so naive and trusting. I would lash out at anyone in the family that had a relationship with my sisters. It just made matters worse.

About a year ago I was invited to Thanksgiving at my uncle's house and I accepted. A few days before I received a text from my sister who was planning on coming and had gotten my number from my uncle. It was an essay of an apology but I could have been summed it up with "Sorry, not sorry". At the very least she acknowledged that she broke her promise. I accepted the apology only to keep from making waves at Thanksgiving. I had no intentions of actually developing any kind of relationship with either of them. While I was there she just bragged about all the trips she's taken to Europe and how amazing Spain is this time of year and about all the guys she fucked while over there while all the rest of the women in the family are praising her for how fun and amazing that sounds. I wanted to burn the place to the ground. After dinner my matriarch aunt cornered us and gave me a lecture about burying the past and making amends and moving on. The same aunt that had encouraged these girls to do this. My sister wanted to make an effort to stay in contact but I made no promises.

Its been twelve years since my mother died and I still haven't gone to the grave. I can't say that I have forgiven my sisters. I don't plan on ever speaking to them again but I've let go of the anger. I don't even know what to think about it anymore. One sister is trying to make efforts to repair our relationship and the other one is mad at me for being mad at her. In my mind they were given a choice between their brother and the money. They chose the money. Now that the money is gone they don't get to have a brother again. They don't get to just wait it out until I'm not angry at them anymore. I don't have any words of wisdom for anyone like "Don't trust anyone, not even family" or "Always get it in writing". I was betrayed by people I loved and I was destroyed emotionally. I was just a piece of trash, an afterthought. I don't think it made me a stronger person either. I'm just tired and I have more lines on my face now. I did learn that going your own way is the only way to live. I always ask myself if I was in their shoes would I have given them the money? Without a doubt. I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that I had done that to another person, especially a sibling. I would have killed myself from guilt at this point. That's the difference between us. Its a cold world. Bring a jacket and go your own way.

TLDR: Mother died and left inheritance. Sisters screwed me out of it.