How do you guys do it?

ThrowawayGhostGuy1 · 2018-01-06T03:29:36+00:00

Just remember that most of those relationships you see are only presented as happy. Most of them are really miserable.

ZealousMathematician · 2018-01-06T03:36:01+00:00

It’ll go away once you realize you actually can still have kids via surrogate and checking with family planning to see the likelihood of your child caring your illnesses. That’s if you want kids.

If you’re actually yearning for a companion your best bet is a male friend or a group of men you can share in a hobby or sport. Marriage from the days of our forefathers is becoming highly unrealistic and will likely send you drifting into the abyss.

If it’s neither women nor companionship it may be depression and slight anger at your lot in life. I too come from a fairly genetically flawed, mentally unwell household. Went through a few things myself. My best advice is focus on being content before being happy. And ridding yourself of the sources of your depression before contentment.

If the cause of your depression is solely your lot in life, you should understand that you cannot change your lot except that which seems to be changeable. In other words what will happen will happen and so you shouldn’t be angered by your lot because it’s not worth it in the end. It returns little value. Instead, strive for what you want in life and curb your weaknesses and hone your skills; eventually your trials will give you the soul to grow. But that’s only if you’re willing to move on.

Remember love is a chemical reaction. Genetic longevity is eerily meaningless. Rather your self-satisfaction is far more valuable. Do what you wish; produce for society on your own terms if you wish. Self actualize and slowly rise each day to work towards retirement. And go your own way from society’s pressures to pus oh into an Iron Maiden if it’s own design, used to pump as much profit from your existence.

In essence be yourself for your sake. Let the world burn if that’s what it takes to be free. Work towards retirement. And relish each free moment. Chains are both real and figurative; release both.

Godspeed.

0x123d · 2018-01-06T03:53:27+00:00

The key is to understand that the thing you crave is a fantasy. The love you think those couples have is, in truth, a complex transaction that has predictable rules. The positive feelings induced by relationships are fickle, and the price you pay for them is dear. Once you fully grasp that (through experience or logic), the feelings you describe will gradually disappear and be replaced with indifference.

somuchluv2give · 2018-01-06T03:29:15+00:00

It sucks. We’re completely alone in this world. She doesn’t love you. She only loves what you can do for her. She is a totally unreliable life partner, biologically programmed to turn you into a bitch, use you up, and then trade you in for someone better.

Scipio_Amer1canus · 2018-01-06T05:05:54+00:00

Get off of social media - or at least limit your check-ins to once every few months. That will limit your exposure to other people's "happiness" (remember, for the most part they aren't going to post about the fights they had or how she's mad at him for x, y, z.)
The time you spend thinking about other people's happiness is time you could spend working on your own. As a male, you have interests that bring you joy - why leave those interests on the back burner in order to dwell on someone else's life? The more time you invest in yourself, the happier you'll be with yourself - and when you're in that state, someone else being happy for different reasons won't matter to you.
All those relationships you're envious of are transitory. It's guaranteed they will not last. But you will. You will last your entire life, for however long that is; so working on yourself is the best investment you can make.
Keep coming here for support - we got your back, brother.

edit: removing bold text (didn't know a # would do that!)

teclado_sw · 2018-01-06T05:59:28+00:00

I can totally relate. I'm 31 and have never dated at all. I'm also somebody who thinks sex should be reserved for marriage, but I absolutely do not want to get married (for reasons that every MGTOW in here would agree with). I have other issues and reasons for my singleness, but I'm serious about my stance on sex and marriage. So it's celibacy for me. I'm very, very straight.

Regarding the emotional aspect of dating, find me a woman who wants a relationship without sex and with no chance of a ring in the future. Oh, and ideally she'd have to be interested in me emotionally/aesthetically, and ideally I to her. Probably not happening. I think I'm better off just having male buddies to hang out with.

I was actually doing pretty good with my single reality through most of my 20s, but it hit me pretty hard around 30. Seeing my 21yo friends pair off, Valentines Day every year (and I always act like "oh is that today" when I know it is), etc. Meanwhile I'm just doing my own thing.

I think the key to my happiness in my 20s was that I kept busy. I was very focused on my job and didn't have much time to think about anything else. Now I'm pretty settled in, job takes less focus, and here I am torturing myself with thoughts of something that I will never have, which is something that I have logically worked out many times that I don't even want. To make matters worse, I, for some stupid reason, allowed myself to fall pretty hard for a female friend of mine. I'm in the process of getting over her right now. I seriously feel like doing something a little crazy, such as moving across the country just to escape.

Long story short, I think I can relate, although for different reasons. Same result, though.

OldRoad · 2018-01-06T07:55:38+00:00

Especially in my twenties, I can remember being really sad and disappointed at seeing so many women that I thought were beautiful, and it seemed like none of them would ever date me. Clearly, other guys could date them though. That's a rough feeling. It was like I was missing out, that life was passing me by, that this was my only chance to enjoy my twenties, and I was failing at that chance.

So -- what do you do? That was quite a while back for me, WAY before I ever heard of MGTOW as an option. So, based on the information I did have back then, I spent a lot of time trying the online dating websites. I spent an awful lot of time at that, really it was probably a lot of wasted time, looking back now. I had an extremely low response rate to my emails on those dating websites back then, which was further disappointing, but now I also know that that is a fairly common experience with those types of dating. However, because I spent so much time at it, I did meet some women though that.

I'm curious from your post if you have ever had a serious romantic relationship. Because that is one thing that I think helped me get over those feelings of "I'm missing out!" I'm not going to pretend that romantic relationships are never fun, just because this is a MGTOW group. They CAN be especially fun when it's your first serious romantic relationship with a beautiful woman, when the romantic relationship is just getting started.

What woke me up though is that the day arrived one day, to my amazement, when I caught myself thinking how great it would be to be single again, to NOT be dating that same beautiful woman! I noted that moment in my brain, to remind myself if I ever got frustrated with being single again.

When you see happy couples, and maybe being disappointed that you don't have the same situation, my guess is that you are probably not thinking about the problems that can come along with a romantic partner. Consider such possibilities as: - serious emotional or personality problems; - irresponsible; - alcoholism; - serious financial problems that they have hidden; - cheating on the romantic relationship; - could create problems with your family and friends; - risk of horrible divorce; - use up savings and increase debt; - possibly refuses to work and contributes very little financially to the home; - has big arguments; - overly demanding of your time; - lying; - and probably much that I'm leaving out.

Now, not every person has all of these problems. But many people have at least some problems. Sometimes I wonder if the most physically attractive women, on average, have more of these problems, just because their physical attractiveness allows them to have such problems and still date -- after all, a lot of people tend to only work as hard at something as they have to.

So you see, when you see a happy couple and maybe feel like you could be "missing out" on something great, you are probably not aware of whatever problems are below the surface for that happy couple.

I had that one really serious romantic relationship that went bad, and that really got me over feeling like I HAD to get married. I tried to date after that, but I became even less successful than I was before. Then I learned more and more about MGTOW, and discovered that a lot of my dating experiences -- how unsuccessful I was, for example -- were actually pretty common among guys, and it wasn't just me. I also found out how difficult it was for so many different types of guys to find happiness in romantic relationships these days, even guys who can date beautiful women easily.

In addition, it probably helps going from your twenties to your thirties and then even older. I find that I get more relaxed and enjoy just plain peace and quiet even more than when I was in my twenties. I like being able to take a nap on a Sunday afternoon, or watch whatever movies I want, or do what I decide with my own extra time. It's much easier to manage my money too. I can do nice things for my relatives, and don't have anyone else that thinks that they should have some input about what I can do with my own money.

So, you've got two pieces to the sad feeling of missing out on dating. You have the intellectual part (whether or not you know that you aren't necessarily missing out). Even if you understand that you aren't missing out though, you can still have the sad feeling, that is the second part (emotion).

Just by reading what I wrote, you can already get over the intellectual part -- you can understand that you can't really assume that a serious romantic relationship is going to be some perfect thing like a person could imagine.

To get over the second part, the emotions, that's more difficult. I'd say your best approach would be: (1) You could carefully participate in the dating world and perhaps have a chance to try a serious romantic relationship. Like my experiences, that could show you that you aren't necessarily missing out on something that is perfect. (2) Keep reading this MGTOW group, and it should help you learn from the experiences of others, without having to have those types of experiences yourself. (3) Read some of the MGTOW-related books, for more of that type of knowledge. (4) As you get into your thirties and forties, I believe that the "missing out" feeling from your twenties will likely decrease automatically anyway.

Hope this helps.

tk_020 · 2018-01-06T03:32:57+00:00

Well you are (like all of us) slowly dieing. On the brighter side of thing. Life has it's seasons/tides or what have you. You may feel awful today and for a month. And then something may turn it around for you. And then something may turn that around. Just hold on to life like Westley held on to Fezzik and know that at some point it'll smash you into a rock...but you are gonna knock that son of a bitch out.

TVTestPattern · 2018-01-06T12:21:20+00:00

You're comparing your own behind the scene footage to other people's highlight clips man.

Templetune · 2018-01-06T04:22:17+00:00

What are your hobbies?

Natsume25 · 2018-01-06T07:57:29+00:00

For me, OP..I was looking for a female companion who I could share my innermost being with.

I wanted to wake up next to the one I loved and smiling at her.

That's just a dream. A happy dream

WhistlingAlong · 2018-01-06T09:13:56+00:00

I used to think like this also. Get angry at couples because why not me. Then acceptance came and I remember past year waking up and just not giving a fuck. It will come with time and I promise you man it is such a surreal moment.

SovereignSoul76 · 2018-01-06T11:16:21+00:00

I see a LOT of well-informed, helpful comments on this thread. All I have to add would be this: do not limit yourself.

I have a friend that is incredibly smart and unbelievably talented. He's stuck in a job he loathes, working himself to death. He's developed a skin condition due to stress and is on several anxiety meds. He makes less than half of what me and my other mates make. He could turn it all around in a couple years if he wanted to. But he's a prisoner to his own limitations.

Point being: just because the chips are currently stacked against you, it doesn't mean you can't make moves. Progress. Progress. Progress. Nobody ever broke out of prison using a wrecking ball, get that spoon from the caf and start chipping.

Yes - you deserve happiness. So stop acting like you don't or can't achieve it and give it a try....every single day.

Elm691 · 2018-01-06T06:25:08+00:00

The emotional issues, money issues and lack of desire for children? My husband was in the same boat and I think he is the bees knees. Most women are shit, so it’s not you. Please don’t continue to believe you are the cause, but adapt the princess mentality. If you go in with a ‘what do YOU have to offer?’ approach rather than a ‘please accept me’ it’s way more effective. Turn the tables. It’s all about attitude. :)

1UPZ_ · 2018-01-06T08:02:18+00:00

99.99% of couples have fights behind closed doors... 100% really.

STXDakota · 2018-01-06T10:29:09+00:00

I think the replies in this thread are unrealistic. We need emotional bonding. We need to feel "love". We can rationally know it doesn't exist the way we once thought it did, but the need for it does not go away.

Improve yourself, look for relationships but always have MGTOW in the back of your head - meaning, apply the lessons learned here. Know what women are, what they do, and protect yourself. And know that the chances of happily marrying are slim to none, so just avoid it altogether.

frankmarlowe · 2018-01-06T11:40:03+00:00

Red pill's always a bitter swallow. Best done sooner rather than later. And if it makes you feel better, most everyone one here, from the silent lurkers to the more provocative vocal ones and the even people like me that tend to sling out jokes and humor... most of us aren't here because we wanna be. Many of us would love nothing more than the Disney shit we were fed as kids to be true. But the hard reality is that it's not. It's basically propaganda to groom children of both sexes into their respective "roles" as they age. Plant the seeds young and the harvest will be bountiful, right? But I digress.

I can't speak for everyone, nor should I, because we have far more lurkers than active posters. But for me? I remind myself that while there may be truly healthy, loving, happily families out there, far too many are facades put on for the sake of kids and others rather than the people in them. Far too many are loveless pits of despair kept alive only out of necessity or convenience. Like a sick mule, a black cloud of flies choking the air around it, begging to be put down.

Then I look at what remaining single offers, and true, there is much loneliness. But I choose to fill mine with hobbies and friends and purpose. To pursue my heart's desires, selfishly and without apology. Also, my work life is slightly easier because I have only myself to care for. Because of this, I am afforded the freedom from obligation necessary to do this. Family necessitates sacrificing freedom. Nihilism helps a bit as well. Even if I did have genes worth passing on, we all eventually die and return to dust and are forgotten.

You're not alone, dude. Regardless of whether or not you slay pussy or covet it, you're in generally good company. True, most of this sub is bitching and moaning about women, but the majority tends to be people going through anger over realizing what this all means. It's anger at everyone and everything that condemns us to this rigid rule-set. This sub has oft been likened to an emotional hospital for us to vent and get that shit out of our system. Those of us that finally make peace tend to leave on our own paths and not really look back. So don't let the lack of positivity get to you.

Also keep in mind that MGTOW is a very broad umbrella term. There's a fair amount of diversity here in age, race, faith, political ideology and various other things. We try to look out for each other here, even if there's the occasional squabbles and disagreements.

However long your stay here, regardless of which path you choose to follow, you are welcome here. Just read up on the stuff stickied to the right, and you'll do just fine.

cscracker · 2018-01-07T05:50:52+00:00

You have to decide for yourself that codependence is not the sole reason for your existence. Try new things, try to accomplish something, figure out what makes you happy and do it. This is true for everyone, red pill or not. Only you can find your own happiness, no one else will create it for you. It isn't easy, but it is simple.

Title	How do you guys do it?
Author	Kenneth_Baker200
Upvotes	36
Comments	28
Date	January 6, 2018 3:21 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/7ogozp/how_do_you_guys_do_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/how-do-you-guys-do-it.611408 https://theredarchive.com/post/611408

Comments