I could use some help

Griever114 · 2016-02-03T18:18:17+00:00

My question is, how do I fight the intense loneliness? I want to like women, I want a relationship, I want positive things, and all that desire does is make me feel worse about being all by myself.

I am going to be brutallly honest with you right now. So listen up.

You fight the loneliness by IMPROVING YOUR LIFE. Do things that YOU want to do. Want to see the world, book a trip. Want to learn a language, do it. Let me re-assure you, being in a relationship will NOT MAKE THESE THINGS HAPPEN. In fact, they will get in the way.

You said you want to like women/relationships, the positive things, etc... Thats great. Guess what? WOMEN DO NOT WANT THAT. They want money, security and babies. That is their programming. They love you only as much as YOU CAN PROVIDE FOR THEM. After that goes, you are nothing but a waste of space.

EMBRACE THE QUIET.

Marriage is a dead relic of what it used to be. And with today's norms, getting into a relationship is like playing with a loaded gun.

Figure out what you want to do with your life, get off the fucking couch AND FUCKING DO IT!

EDIT: Just a final note. You need to learn the following very soon. EVERYONE has an agenda. There is no one out there that wakes up thinking about how they can please you, me or anyone else. They all have themselves on their mind. And there is NOTHING wrong with that. You need to live your life for yourself and remember that a woman wont fulfill a majority of your desires. A man wont do that either. Why do you think most women get depressed once they get married/have a kid? Those are the two biggest goals in their life and after that there is NOTHING. Your goal, as a human, is to experience life and live if to your desires. Improve yourself every fucking day .

taewoodz · 2016-02-03T20:17:56+00:00

well brother, i'm 20 and currently in college and even I can't attract females whatsoever. My body build is average and i'm 6 feet 2 with average looks, and honestly average is the new ugly. I have dealt with mood swings and depression issues for years due to intense bullying in my younger years and being rejected not just in relationships but in life in general. What is my outlook on life currently? Well actually I feel GREAT, because i told myself one day a year ago that i would not base my happiness on relationships or materealistic possessions, the things that truly validate me are things that i do for personal growth, I love it when i meet new people or things that changes my perception of the world, It's a mental battle your dealing with bro, also a biological one. You are fighting the natural urges to want to procreate with an attractive mate and trust me it's not easy but take it step by step, don't look at it like something you can do in one day. it maybe a year or two from now but you'll be fulfilled when you realize that having a partner in this world is just not all cracked up to what you may perceive it to be currently. Those people you bring up as examples of being happy are not YOU, you can't live your life based on the results of OTHER people, carve your own path in life and stop with the comparisons. It's only going to make you miserable because in your mind you already subconsciously feel your inferior, so try to push all those thoughts out of your head. If anything read up on this forum some more as you can gain a lot of knowledge on female nature, hypergamy, etc. That'll give you some extra tools to get over your incessant need for female validation, if you ever need some 1 on 1 counseling that's what i'm going to school for lol just PM me

LarryBeard · 2016-02-03T18:11:25+00:00

IMHO, You don't have to fight loneliness but rather embrace it.

I agree that it may be hard, but when I stopped caring about what someone else could think about me, I felt much better. If I were to give you my advice, stop wanting to like women, or to have a relationship. As for the positive things, you only need yourself and you're willingness to work for it.

Begin by finding what drives you to be a better men and what makes you happy right now. Not in the futur, not in someone else, just you right now. From there, try finding your next goal, it might be a promotion, a new car... Do everything you can to achieve it.

In the end maybe you'll find the one, maybe not (Side note : Be wary about the one who come when you're set with anything you earned that can be taken away)

At least, you'll know who you are and what you're worth. You only need your own approval. The other can go cry away if they don't like it.

wasthereadogwithyou · 2016-02-03T18:35:40+00:00

I'm just naturally a loner, so.... Follow your heart?

squidracer · 2016-02-03T18:36:52+00:00

[deleted]

Bus9ja2d · 2016-02-03T18:44:27+00:00

I'm 40 now, still single, and will be for the rest of my time I'm sure. Women do not change for the better as we get older. They are complicated in ways that would take a lifetime to figure out and in the end they're just whores.

These guys are right on here though, do all the things you can do to improve your life. I wish I had paid more attention to this when I was in my early 30's, focusing on me.

I didn't want to believe it then but women are children, I was wasting my time and money putting them on a pedestal. I wish I had discovered the truths that are discussed on here earlier in my life.

There were times that I thought the right woman would have set me on the course to happiness, but it's not true, it just buys time before the inevitable happens- you get tossed aside and rejected.

INOFFENSIVE_LOVE · 2016-02-03T22:01:50+00:00

Everyone is lonely. Everyone. We all feel it, rising up in some of our quiet moments. Just minimise it, and when it does come up, accept it. It's normal. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you or your life.

Just remember. The person you crave to alleviate your loneliness will most likely just annoy the hell out of you, before hurting you. And then you'll be even more lonely.

Don't rely on other people to sculpt your emotional realm :).

Campes · 2016-02-03T18:48:59+00:00

Not sure which is worse, loneliness or being in a relationship. Some will tell you being in a relationship is lonelier. Enjoy the company of your male friends and don't allow your body's biological trick of sex tell you that female company is better.

Toiletsareforbabies · 2016-02-04T02:09:19+00:00

| My question is, how do I fight the intense loneliness?

A philosopher once asked a tiger if it ever felt the despair of loneliness.

The tiger ate the philosopher.

Does that answer the question?

Schnapps, bitte.

Foodboi · 2016-02-04T01:37:36+00:00

honestly, I think you should go out and really try to get a girlfriend. do the blue pill thing for awhile and comeback here when you're ready to take the red pill. no one can tell you how this is until you experience it for yourself.

it seems like you have a good understanding of the theory, but I think some practical application is needed. good luck

oldredder · 2016-02-04T10:49:34+00:00

it's so difficult to get into a relationship that it can't possibly be worth the pain of constant rejection and humiliation.

Oh, I laugh. Not at you but with your future self that will reflect back on that thought and wonder how you could be so naive. It's not rejection that's humiliating, it's betrayal. Having her in your life then spend all your money, exploit your trust and fuck other men in your bed but still tell you she loves you for really real, that you're the special one to her.

I look at the horrible relationships, I look back at the past times I didn't hook up with women and I wonder how many times I got spared a worse fate than what I already faced.

My question is, how do I fight the intense loneliness?

You erase it. You can do it through self-realization and through chemistry. There's drugs that will wipe out the neurotransmitter response and there's the core truth from life experience that being in a relationship is actually time-wasting and damaging, robbing you of independence and stability.

See, you don't really like your freedom. You don't really like stability or maybe even have it. When you work years to have it and realize the one thing that will destroy it is a woman stuck to you in your life you'll truly comprehend it all.

Then loneliness won't exist ever again.

How do you deal with not having someone love you?

I don't believe it's a real thing that happens no matter what I do or say. I think most men are delusional who think women love them while those women actually are exploiting them and will rob them at the drop of a hat with no mercy.

Greetings1 · 2016-02-03T23:38:30+00:00

How do you fight loneliness? You don't. You embrace the benefits that solitude brings. Make a list of things you can or have already accomplished being by yourself. If your list is big you are winning. If it's very small add shit to it. Having too many activities in your life that revolve around people makes you to reliant on their validation for existence. Embrace the quiet.

How do you deal with it? Wrong question. It's other people that have to deal with others demands. They paid a high price for their "romantic bliss" via emotional and financial enslavement. Love is not free. Make a list of things you think you are missing out on (besides sex and cuddling) that you think you have deal with on your own. Compare it to your previous list if solitary accomplishments. If any of your things from list two run contrary to list one, you can cross it off. Life isn't worth sacrificing all your wants just because you think your missing out on what others have.

How do you deal with someone not loving you? So you don't have parents sibling friends coworkers neighbors or even pets that like to be around you? Oh wait you mean someone you can come home to everyday that will tell you that once you walk through the front door in your business suit and put your coat on the rack? Ahh. Here's news: that's not love. It's just an aging likely fat woman motivating you to keep bringing home the bacon to feed the brood. Your love means shit to them unless it improves their lifestyle or feeds the brood. That is modern marriage my friend.

What should I do? START LIVING ABD STOP CARING ABOUT THE BITCHES THAT YOUR PEERS ARE CHANGE TO. You have something they will never have. Freedom.

How do I feel good about just being me? This is tough because if you are not comfortable being you, love marriage, children, etc will only kill you faster. Your wife and kids will mold you into someone you will not like, you will be depressed and or suicidal, and forget what it was like when you could make your own decisions. Women will not improve you. They will take from you. Whatever you are feeling about them isn't who you are. It's just your sex drive screaming to pass it's genes on. That's all. My brother, get into philanthropy or volunteerism. You want others to love you, be a positive force for good in society. Paying the meal of a homeless person who has no one else vs paying for a whiny bitch who occasionally puts out and graces you with compliments. What do you think would bring you more joy?

Mysonking · 2016-02-04T01:38:10+00:00

I would recommend watching Norman Fischer video for Stanford baccalaureate 2014 on YouTube. Please do it. It is difficult to para-phrase him, but what I took away is that LOVE is everywhere and not only limited to romantic relationships.

You will experience love when you care for your elderly neighbor, knock at his door and take him/her for a ride. You will experience it when you will find an association helping small kids in needs and go tutor some of them once a week.

You sound as a very decent and humble human being and for sure do deserve to love someone and be loved in return. But if this is not your path, still there are plenty of opportunity for you to experience and intense emotional bonding with other fellow human beings for whom you van care and who for sure could establish a long lasting relationships with you. Just imagine helping a small kid twice a week during teh next several years and helping him/her get through school, you will be forever in his heart. And when you will grow old, you will be satisfied and feel accomplished.

PM me to chat some more if you want.

Please watch the video

kpak76 · 2016-02-04T01:51:47+00:00

You do have people who love you unless you're an orphan.

Get a good hobby (mine happens to be video games). Date women still, just don't give away your (r) card to them. If dating sucks (which it does) go see hookers.

manzone22 · 2016-02-04T09:53:33+00:00

The key is to keep yourself busy with your free time so you dont think about it and also learning stuff and becoming good at something will lift your spirit, mind and self esteem as you come to realize that only person that can make you happy is you:

-Learn to play a musical instrument

-Learn to make a smartphone app/web design page

-Volunteer for sport/music/charity events (they always need volunteers to help setup/pack up, process tickets etc)

-Take cooking classes

-Learn a new language

-Learn how to fix cars/computers/circuit boards/bikes/boat motors/guns

-Learn how processes work for something, so for example when buying your own house what taxes, codes, banks, land rules, government/council regulations do you have to go through and what are the common mistakes people make and also why.

-There are a lot of paid and free websites where you can learn new skills, some people use these skills to make a secondary income to try and live off while using the primary income to invest in something

-Learning how to make furniture

-Join a club ie if you enjoy tramping then join a tramping club meet like minded people and once you feel comfortable travel around the world doing famous or beautiful tramping trails.

At the end of the day it has to be something you are interested or passionate about to see it through to the end since some stuff out there can take years to master

ghostpath · 2016-02-04T09:56:14+00:00

I've been where you are and I know it can feel debilitating.

Eventually I got myself what I thought I so desparately wanted.

I now understand what Robin Williams meant when he said this:

"I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone."

You need to understand that although you are programmed to desire love, love is an illusion. It doesn't exist. If you do get into a relationship, a woman will use your desire to be loved to manipulate you and destroy you.

You need reprogram yourself. Start by watching Turd Flinging Monkey's youtube video "She'll never love you." Then read both of Rollo Tomasi's books. After that study Buddhism to learn how free yourself from your desire for love.

Also read the MGTOW reddit regularly. Watch Traversable MGTOW's Throwdowns on youtube. Learn from this community, learn from other men's experiences.

Do not make your happiness dependent on another. Be responsible for your happiness. Happiness comes from within.

stawek · 2016-02-04T14:04:58+00:00

Check theredpill sub.

OLD-TRUCK · 2016-02-03T18:05:34+00:00

Have you looked into getting a pet?

Title	I could use some help
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	12
Comments	70
Date	February 3, 2016 5:26 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/440tzt/i_could_use_some_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/i-could-use-some-help.638574 https://theredarchive.com/post/638574

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