Sister...

AquaPiranha · 2021-05-17T04:05:20+00:00

Just say no. Stand up for yourself and just tell them to get a hotel. If you give in and let them stay in your home, they will perceive that as a sign of weakness and will walk over you for the rest of your life.

Stakinkash · 2021-05-17T04:16:30+00:00

"I tested positive for COVID"

"My house is being fumigated"

"My water pipes are being replaced, so I will be staying in a hotel that week"

"I just found bedbugs in my house"

No-Nobody2852 · 2021-05-17T04:18:14+00:00

Grow a pair and say no ffs. You know what it's called when your family always tells you to get up and "help the family" but they never do? It's called abuse. Get the fuck out of there.

You aren't a servant, and you aren't a slave.... If you choose not to be. Not everyone can rise up and make the right choice. It sounds like you're going to fold and take the abuse because it's the easy way out anyways.

altair43 · 2021-05-17T04:33:53+00:00

Do what you think is right. You have already made a decision.

In my native place, we have a saying; "It's better to ride a pony with your own decision than to ride a horse following other's".

It does not sound good in English, but sounds great in my own language. I think you get the point.

Comprehensive_Bus525 · 2021-05-17T04:19:47+00:00

NFW I’d do that for anyone who treated me with disrespect, especially my family.

It bugs me when people say, “But she’s family”. This doesn’t give Carte Blanche for poor behavior.

I haven’t spoken to that sister in 7 years.

Also, ask yourself if she’d pick you up and put you up.

Glittering-Meat3088 · 2021-05-17T06:31:03+00:00

Tell your mother you don't want to get punched in your own home. If she say's anything to rebut, just keep repeating that. Throw in an "I love you mom, but..." every so often just to add a little razzle dazzle. Repeat till she demonstrates she gets the message.

AlexJMurphyHandModel · 2021-05-17T06:53:35+00:00

Tell your mother “No.” It’s your home and your time. If she can’t respect you or your wishes, she can be the second woman you no longer have contact with.

It’s tiresome when parents, siblings, cousins, etc. rely on the lame-ass “But it’s family” tactic. Let’s be real, if you have to be guilt tripped into something, the other party knows just as well as you that the favor in question is dog shit from the get-go.

Viktorenox · 2021-05-17T08:49:08+00:00

I'm sure you know all of this already but - She's using your mother to get her ways. Even if you do accommodate them, she'll not be grateful or treat you with respect in your own house. And I'm guessing you don't know much about her boyfriend, could be an asshole too.

No means no. Just say you don't want to host them or worst case scenario, cook up an excuse like Covid or work.

sqiop · 2021-05-17T09:06:53+00:00

If you don't stand your ground with your little bitch sister, she will continue to take advantage of you.

Say to your mother No, and you dont need to explain why. Just simple no,

Do this sooner than later. You dont need to babysit your feminist sister.

If your mother after knowing this still telling you to make compromise and amends, it would better off to never talk to your mother again. If she is your family and you treated like this, well i think you will be better off without them, that is the reality you have to face sooner.

I did this to my older sister, and i got barrage of shaming and quilt tripping from family and parents. But i dont care.

Legs2Big_1 · 2021-05-17T07:43:37+00:00

Son-husband case 101. Do you know no bounds to self-flagellation? Do you hate yourself that much that what your mother does takes precedence over your well-being? Your mother evidently doesn’t have your best interest at heart. Make it change because you have clearly shown your family to be a pushover.

SagenTheGOd · 2021-05-17T04:30:21+00:00

Completely cut them off if they do this shit again

bestbegreat · 2021-05-17T05:17:45+00:00

Tell her she was adopted. Problem solved.

hauntedforest00 · 2021-05-17T05:12:46+00:00

Oh sorry, i"ve got bloodsuckers already in my household thank you very much .....

chakamaki · 2021-05-17T04:24:48+00:00

There is a roommate you share your home with and he is not agree for this and got covid

JoeSmith1907 · 2021-05-17T06:01:32+00:00

If you feel the way you do you can tell your mom that family members don't punch each other because they get mad (at least if they're not kids any more). You can point out that you're being that way because you didn't invite your sister to your city, or that you're really being that way because you and you sister will argue and that will ruin your sister's vacation and your mom wouldn't want you to ruin your sister's vacation, would she?

raider471990 · 2021-05-17T07:12:49+00:00

Cut them all the fuck off

OnlyATreeNothinToSee · 2021-05-17T07:13:27+00:00

Well if I would do this diplomatically I would tell her:

Look, I have to do lots of stuff at the moment.
I can barely keep myself up, I think I catched COVID.
It is very unlikely that I can handle anyone else at the moment.

LongTimeOn · 2021-05-17T08:25:24+00:00

Tell her to fuck right off, and just don't answer the phone from your mum. If sister shows up at your door (very likely), don't answer it or just go away yourself for a few days.

Any sister who punched me like that, would have found herself on the deck and walking her ass home.

pavelfrtsk · 2021-05-17T08:52:40+00:00

I had good relationship with my sister (older) but it went south when i started to became more successful in my life. I left my country and opened business and got married with my ex-wife. I am the only one who did this in our wider range of family. She started to spy after me and badmouth. Didnt speak with her 3 years already. I clearly told my mom that here where i live is not a hotel, its my space. If somebody wants to come to visit me they will stay in a hotel and we will meet and after everyone goes where they live. Thats all. I saw on her that it was a hard pill for her but what you can do :)

dirtydog113 · 2021-05-17T09:58:40+00:00

grow a pair and set your boundaries..is the sentence.." no thats not happening and thats all i am saying on the matter"...in your vocabulary

selfism_mike · 2021-05-17T12:04:17+00:00

Your gut feeling which tells you not to help them is 100% correct. The best way to deal with parasites - just personal experience - is to go burnt earth on them. Declare war. Make it clear that you have no respect for any of them. You are financially independent, now declare independence from your toxic mother and your toxic sister.

There is no reason whatsoever that you should sacrifice your peace and quiet for people who just make you feel miserable.

Do not allow the words of your mother to guilt-trip you. After all, she is just another woman thinking she is entitled to take advantage of men. Their opinion what you should or should not do is completely irrelevant for you.

Break away from these people. They need you more than you need them and they are no positive addition to your life.

DoNotTouchMyBongos · 2021-05-17T12:49:37+00:00

Dude, for the love of God, please tell your mom no and your sister to kick rocks. Matter of fact, ghost them cold turkey and indefinitely for your own well-being. Evidenced by your post, you are susceptible to being used and abused by them—manipulation is a female’s area of expertise. The toxic family dynamic at play here must be recognized by you if you’re to proceed wisely on your own behalf.

We don’t get to pick our family, but once we survive that nest and are adults, we get to pick our independent reality including or excluding them. Don’t feel guilty about that fact of life. You really don’t owe your mom or sister anything—because they honestly sound like selfish gaslighters/narcissists.

You’re describing leeches who don’t respect you, but will gladly drain you of what you have to offer. Don’t punish yourself for shitty people in your life, kin or kith. You need to care about yourself more than you care about pleasing recipients of your kindness in this abusive, one-sided relationship. Look out for yourself because it seems that your sister and mom are banking on the idea that you won’t.

shellbross · 2021-05-17T08:42:44+00:00

I dont think I should help her, so what would be a diplomatic way to say no here?

Stop worrying about being diplomatic, tell your mom that your sister can get fucked, and if she doesn't drop it she can get fucked too.

Anti-PC04 · 2021-05-17T09:28:22+00:00

Fuck id tell ya mum drop it or I'll drop you outta my life aswell

SwordMasterLink79 · 2021-05-17T09:58:04+00:00

Now she's coming to my city for a vacation with her boyfriend. And I've been getting calls from my mother to come drive 2 hours to pick her up from the airport and let her and her bf stay at my place so they can save some money. My sister wouldn't even bother to contact me herself.

Yeah, just don't. I have heard similar stories often enough. The days they will spent at your place will probably be hell. After all, why should she care about you, just going the route over your mom has suited her so well.

Regarding excuses... make something up that's mostly realistic, or plausible. At this point where your sis utilizes your mom to guilt trip you into giving her free stay all decency and honesty is off the table in my opinion.

So either tell them something about you having covid or tell them some made up excuse, like you are seriously sick right now, the water broke down in the house, everything is flooded. W/e. Just because you are related doesn't mean they are entitled to a free stay without them being in an emergency.

9trogenta · 2021-05-17T10:46:42+00:00

Your story sounds so familiar.

My older brother always bullied me and my dad did fuck all about it. In our 20s I thought he'd moved on but nope, he was doing the same bullshit. So I told him to fuck off.

My parents tried for years to get me reconcile with him. After a while I got enough of their BS and I cut them off too.

Do what you have to do for your own peace of mind. No regrets.

Griever114 · 2021-05-17T11:57:14+00:00

Just say no. Your sister doesn't deserve your hospitality.

PERIOD. END OF DISCUSSION.

FreshNothingBurger · 2021-05-17T12:15:19+00:00

Stop being such a fucking pussy and stand up for yourself.

akai_ferret · 2021-05-17T12:48:16+00:00

Tell your mother to eat shit.

techstural · 2021-05-17T13:19:39+00:00

I would just tell your mom to "go to hell" and leave it at that. There is simply no reasoning with some people.

EDIT: Note, when I say tell them that, I mean figuratively. If you actually tell them that, they will get all worked up ("oh, he is being so disrespectful! blah-blah-blah!"). You just tell them "no" straight and simply, and they won't be able to come back at you, because they know they are in the wrong. If the do press it, tell them, "if you are so concerned about your daughter, feel free to pay for her to stay somewhere." After all, it was she who created her, not you. If you do put her up, she will just end up abusing you for it, which is a very bad situation to be in.

alienmuseum · 2021-05-17T14:41:33+00:00

You live alone. You don't depend on your mom. So say no! Tell your mom your sister and her boyfriends are adults they can find and book their own hotel.

beardedbliss · 2021-05-17T15:40:42+00:00

Fuck the bitch! I wouldn't do shit to help her. I would not only say no but, "Fuck that bitch. She has never been nice to me and only lives to serve her own wants and needs. She can sleep on a fucking bench in the park for all I care! She isn't sleeping in my home and I am not going to get her!"

Then again, I have a foul temper and that is me being nice. Sounds like she is a LOT like how my three adult, younger sisters act. I would say no.

Content-Board7302 · 2021-05-17T08:59:37+00:00

Be a man say no … don’t allow yourself to be used

aad7990 · 2021-05-17T09:43:46+00:00

If you just say no she is going to harass you to death. You could tell her the truth about your sister being an absolute snot and you don't want her there. Or make something up about the house being uninhabitable for that week.

I would also be out of town when she gets there. She sounds like the kind of person who would just show up any way.

rayedward363 · 2021-05-17T10:31:35+00:00

Pop that covid excuse if you can't bring yourself to say no. Sometimes you just have to stand up for yourself, even if your mother pulls that guilt trip.

urgentsonex1350 · 2021-05-17T10:37:43+00:00

Grow some balls and tell your mother that her daughter can get fucked.

If your mother doesn’t like it. She can eat shit

trump4president2024 · 2021-05-17T11:13:23+00:00

Make some good use of the pandemic and it's Captain Covid to the rescue!

Shimakaze4 · 2021-05-17T11:26:29+00:00

Sometimes you just gotta say "no". People won't like it, they will protest and get nasty, but stick to your guns on it or they will forever think you are a push over. Say no, mean it and be prepared for your sister to just turn up on your doorstep, however, stay the course and say no. If your mother has keys to your house I'd also just change the locks so she can't give the keys to your sister.

M1L03 · 2021-05-17T11:28:33+00:00

I'm sure that many people would find this unethical, but here is what I would do if someone were treated me like that:

I would say it's OK, and all that jazz, then I would pull out the COVID card when they have already got there. That way you don't turn out as a total a-hole in their eyes and you'd do a lot more damage than if you would simply say NO.

Joker_Christ2 · 2021-05-17T13:02:12+00:00

Just take her shit, throw it outside, and continue by throwing her out too. You shouldn't have deal with someone that horrible just because your related to them. And your mother seems to be enabling your sisters unsavory behavior towards you. You need to cut this woman out of your life for good, regardless of her reaction.

SwordMasterLink79 · 2021-05-17T13:25:53+00:00

[deleted]

Whale_Sexer · 2021-05-17T13:39:11+00:00

dont mean any disrespect at all but, grow some fucking balls and tell them to fuck off lol

Groundbreaking_the2 · 2021-05-17T14:28:32+00:00

I haven't talked to my sister in several years... I just told my Mom I refuse to have a relationship anymore with her.

TardPol · 2021-05-17T14:32:45+00:00

No is a full sentence brother, don't let anyone, and I mean anyone steal time from you, it's the only thing that's truly yours.

meegtower · 2021-05-17T15:33:38+00:00

I dont think I should help her, so what would be a diplomatic way to say no here?

There's absolutely no need for you to be diplomatic. The bridge is burned. It can't be un-burned. Not anymore, not ever. They can both go fuck themselves.

I'm in a very similar situation. Sister being an absolute cunt, only talking when she needs help, cut off contact after latest conflict in which she's 100.00% at fault but neither her nor the entire family will ever hold her accountable, guild-tripped by the parent for her fault, being held responsible to make amends.

Be firm. Set boundaries. Don't explain yourself. Time for diplomacy is over. Si vis pacem para bellum. You don't even have to be polite to your mom if she keeps pushing. In fact, I'd say disown them both, although that might just be my anger leaking out.

QuickDrawDinoHunter · 2021-05-17T15:54:31+00:00

Just tell your mom straight up that you dont like her, shes never been anything but a total bitch to you, and that you dont care to help her anymore. You reap what you sow, and shes a terrrible farmer.

Title	Sister...
Author	realChebz
Upvotes	76
Comments	78
Date	May 17, 2021 3:58 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/ne63v2/sister/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/sister.754743 https://theredarchive.com/post/754743

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