This hit me

Helloissame · 2018-05-17T07:57:35+00:00

Not sure if this is mgtow but the last couple of sentences really hit me in the feels. The way everyone relied on the father and through my interpretation wasn't allowed to grieve or show emotion he had to be the rock in the family because he's the man. Just something that connects with me about men holding frame and always expected to be the rock. Sorry if this kinda stuff isn't permitted

EdgyFilipino42069 · 2018-05-17T09:40:53+00:00

Boys, this is a real man

Wolfoflulzstreet · 2018-05-17T13:00:45+00:00

The pressure of always having to be the one that keeps his shit together, to not process, to maintain the status quo under any circumstance is life-taking stressful.

When I was married my wife would break down over anything. Didn’t matter what it was. Hell, a phone call from her mom would send her spinning for days and a non-stop parade of repeating the same thing until she was over it. I mention one time something stressful at work and I’m met with a “NO I CAN’T HEAR THIS...QUIT YOUR JOB THEN.” Real gruff and dismissive. She was always “allowed” to vent on any given topic and when I started to vent it was met with a wall.

If I took my venting elsewhere most women don’t want to hear a man struggling. The only women who appear to stomach it are strippers, bartenders and therapists but even then just barely. One of the simplest and most intense pleasures of a MGTOW life is merely having a household that isn’t constantly melting down all the time. It is now a real safe space.

Retromind · 2018-05-17T12:38:37+00:00

Being a man is like playing a game on ultra hard difficulty.

NotLuceBree · 2018-05-17T11:53:10+00:00

This is part of what being a man is. Powerful story.

Mgtow4throwaway · 2018-05-17T10:46:49+00:00

This what's called being a MAN

jaceishere · 2018-05-17T10:40:53+00:00

Such a tragedy

AncapGhxst · 2018-05-17T10:17:35+00:00

We need to know why

Garathon · 2018-05-17T12:01:06+00:00

This is what a man does: he man's the fuck up. This could never be a woman.

Ssloan38 · 2018-05-17T12:24:45+00:00

Damn. I would never want to go through some shit like that. As a father that really gets me.

bkrugby78 · 2018-05-17T13:48:05+00:00

I was waiting for the part where the man finds out his wife is cheating.

daniellederek · 2018-05-17T12:59:05+00:00

My cousin is going through something similar possibly worse, His wife's 16 year old daughter (child was 2 when they met. baby daddy dies in a work accident) was murdered in their bedroom. Unable to afford the money to cut losses on the house. They owed 100k on what should have been 350k house so rather than walking away with nothing they've been living in the finished basement for 3 years waiting for the 3 year manditory stigmatised notification on the listing has passed.

Apparently she's just a shell of her former self. Time will tell if they stick together but my guess is once that house check shows up she'll be ready to move on and find herself and have fun again because he did too good of a job sticking with her.

2018-05-17T13:54:21+00:00

this is relevant. my father and mother went thru the same thing. it was my sister who died at age 3 but it was before i was born as I was the youngest so i didn't go thru it. piecing stories together it sounds like my mom went bonkers for a few years, like total mental breakdown. the marriage was never the same and my dad was never the same. my mom was the better parent than my dad actually but alot of it was alcohol, which started after my sisters death. it was horrible for both parents but i'll never forget how my mom going nuts for a few years was totally normal but my dad drinking his sorrows away made him a total monster to the family.

NeverRelapseItsATrap · 2018-05-17T17:03:25+00:00

My condolences to the guy. A part that is irritating when reading through the comments is the amount of callous “oh wait till he gets a divorce” or “whatever it is just life” or “he got what he deserved.” Imagine being in this guy’s shoes. How would you feel if your kid just died? Have you gone through a major tragedy? Once you do, you are never the same! Never!! So before you give a callous remark, imagine if you are at the other end and receive the same callous treatment.

Whether his family was dysfunctional as a result of him is pure speculation. Even then unless you are some psych PhD, someone with Bipolar may have gotten from other factors. Who knows!

He manned up, don’t care about wife’s reaction. He didn’t shrivel into a ball. That’s part of what it means to be masculine.

2018-05-17T12:22:36+00:00

Holy shit

cyborg_type_darkness · 2018-05-17T18:52:56+00:00

[deleted]

DWShimoda · 2018-05-17T15:12:47+00:00

Paradoxical as it may seem...

The husband/father engaging in the "be all and do all" (alone) is arguably a big PART of the problem in that scenario.*

It ENABLES and FACILITATES everyone else continuing to "lose their shit" (and to arguably "roll around in it").

A big part of "recovering" from "tragic" events, is for EVERYONE to be BUSY and DIRECTLY involved in those things that are NECESSARY for their own life/living -- his response is in many ways a DYSFUNCTIONAL as theirs.

* I'd go even further, and say that it's probably ALSO a big part of the CAUSE of the tragedy to begin with. The whole "my daughter is bipolar" is a medicalization of an inherently psycho-social-development problem (often including "abuse & neglect" in childhood): the daughter was a "fucked up mess"; and apparently so is/are all the rest of the family members -- and almost certainly not just as a result of the girl's suicide -- they were all "fucked up" long prior to that themselves (that entire family is, and likely always has been, VERY dysfunctional).

EDIT: And yes that's not "sympathetic" view... but it very much IS the cold, harsh truth.

LJHova · 2018-05-17T19:53:02+00:00

The guy's a doormat, not a hero. He is doing exactly what society tells him to do, neglect his own pain and sacrifice for every other ungrateful parasite in his life. Screw that.

2018-05-17T18:59:05+00:00

This is bullshit

states he notices her sitting in the closet
then says he had to 'cut her down'
apparently she hung herself with a magical, incredibly strong shoelace

Even without the inconsistency re sitting/hanging, there's simply no way a person could use a shoelace like this. Even a rawhide leather shoelace would snap the moment you put your weight on it

Mefic_vest · 2018-05-17T21:45:19+00:00

Lesson: It is the man who is expected to be the adult, who is tasked by societal expectations (“toxic masculinity”) to hold everything together. For if he fails, he is the failure. Everyone else? Blameless. Some because of their age and lack of life experience (the other children), which is understandable, but the rest?

How interesting. /s

KingOfYaks · 2018-05-17T12:17:42+00:00

Bah. This is only a big deal in the last 100 years. For the other 2 million years of humanity's existence, a huge majority of children died well before their parents-- Not that the parents lived long either. Often it was some stupid thing that got people killed. That or other murdering humans. Bad things WILL happen to people. This is just life, and the laws of physics that give us life also allow for, nay, DEMAND the taking of life. It bugs me when people are so emotionally delicate that they experience a tragedy and even after a normal grieving period is long past they cant see that they're wasting whats left of their own life. The man in this post is simply doing what everyone should do. Anyone in history that curled up into a ball crying for more than a week would fail to prepare for winter and die.

eightgaydiamonds · 2018-05-17T12:53:04+00:00

So why did she kill herself? No sympathy from me, maybe do something like listen to her before she does it.

georgesoyros · 2018-05-17T13:22:52+00:00

Mixed feelings about this. There's nothing wrong with shouting 'life goes on!' to his wife and his other kids.

I understand that it's a difficult time for that man, but don't forget that this is on the edge of humble bragging. He's making himself the most important person alive in that household.

Don't get me wrong, again, I understand that it's difficult. But someone should tell him that he has all the right in the world to tell his wife and kids to stop bullshitting, because life goes on.

Don't make the death of someone else an excuse to become lazy.

Azraelalpha · 2018-05-17T14:11:53+00:00

Stories like this really piss me off, that little bitch had to be selfish and off herself in such a way that she basically ruined her entire families lives. Also if she was truly bipolar why the Fuck would you not have her on medicine???

tylerden · 2018-05-17T14:34:41+00:00

"Not" my bad.

Slaide · 2018-05-17T14:58:55+00:00

As usual, the women become a complete mess and are even more useless than they usually are.

1v1crown · 2018-05-17T15:06:06+00:00

Ofc the wife reacts the worst of all. Always useless in any stressful situation.

JohnPerera · 2018-05-17T15:13:29+00:00

PUAs say, NAWALT. But even if so this shit can happen. Another reason to be MGTOW.

ContreversialViews22 · 2018-05-17T21:52:12+00:00

being a father is like playing in the 'unfavourable' positions no one wamts to play in in P.E e.g. goalkeeper in soccer, Center in basketball, back row/libero in volleyball etc.

Graypube88 · 2018-05-17T22:08:43+00:00

Guess what.. you got married and had kids, what else would you expect? MGTOW is the only route to peace of mind and serenity.

TheRedPrince99 · 2018-05-17T23:49:08+00:00

Now think about this. If this man was taught to be soy and cry and not keep his frame how much more worse shit could’ve happened.

stringedbeams · 2018-05-18T02:25:21+00:00

Thank you for sharing, speaking of fathers, I don't necessarily recommend the film but there is a really powerful scene in "World's Greatest Dad" where the dad (played by Robin Williams) finds his son had accidentally killed himself with autoerotic ayxphyxiation (spell?). The son (Kyle) was a brat in the film but it was an extremely moving scene that showed how much a father can love a son however imperfect their relationship may be, to me anyway. He finds the son and bursts into tears, I dunno it really hit me in the feels when it came out some years ago.

edited

deathlyhapa · 2018-05-22T22:56:51+00:00

at least he got reddit gold

DWShimoda · 2018-05-17T14:30:20+00:00

Terrible. No parent should out-live their child. What a nightmare.

robocopsboner · 2018-05-18T06:30:28+00:00

This has nothing to do with MGTOW.

TwentyOneBeers · 2018-05-17T11:02:03+00:00

Come on, nothing special here, he was forced by the situation to deal with it, every man would do the same. But will he have the balls to give his wife an ultimatum? Will he prepare for the worse when the divorce hits? Or will he continue to be a slave and throw away his future happiness when everyone around him will start to leech on his mental health. Pff, why only he needs to be strong.

thewatisit · 2018-05-17T12:27:44+00:00

How do you hang yourself sitting down?

Edit: I'm serious. The dad found her sitting down right? And I'm assuming with a shoelace around her neck attached to a bar in the closet? I just can't imagine a suicide in that position. She would have to resist the instinct to stand up.

Nkazio · 2018-05-17T12:46:04+00:00

[deleted]

Ipride362 · 2018-05-17T12:06:06+00:00

All because a woman gave into this emotional “depression is cool” bullshit and tried to off herself with a shoelace? All for attention.

somuchluv2give · 2018-05-17T07:59:28+00:00

AWALT.

This hit me

Comments

No, it's really NOT.

Yup.

Title	This hit me
Author	Helloissame
Upvotes	411
Comments	134
Date	May 17, 2018 7:54 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/8k2im2/this_hit_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/this-hit-me.556214 https://theredarchive.com/post/556214