I'm a 37 year old Man. I grew up in a wonderful time. I got to play in the streets. Watch prime time television weekly with my family. Read the latest Goosebumps orAnimorphs books. We still had Blockbuster, Toys 'R' Us and Arcades. We had places to go, things to do, we knew how to keep ourselves occupied and knew how to have fun with so little. If we weren't home, you couldn't contact us, The internet was still Dial up and was a novelty. Times were simple, then the tech boom happened, it was incredible to watch the world change so fast, as I remember the tail end of the 80s and all of the 90s.

Dating was much more simple and that's saying A LOT. Growing up I was used and abused by girls at an early age, my crush at 9 years old would bribe me with the false hope of her being my girlfriend, all I had to do was give her my ice cream money. Man I was stupid. They would use me to make their ex jealous, some we're just crazy. It was still somewhat innocent. Who could've seen it? We were told our whole lives that women were the prize and to be treated as such, like a delicate princess. We were taught chivalry. Our minds were brainwashed into believing their toxic behavior was normal and they were "just being girls". They were even worse to each other, that was also tolerated for some reason. Our while lives Toxic Femininity was joked about as a good thing, as keeping your man in line. Men were and are portrayed as fools, bumbling idiots,l and mindless work horses who's only good for money. That was what I was fed into my childhood brain my whole life, even the more wholesome shows that depicted accurate fatherhood and masculinity still had that " Submit to your wife" Undertone.

Fast forward to the 2000s in my 20s. I'm young ready to rock. Dumb, in a heavy metal band and blind to the consequences of choices. I had a rough childhood, so issues and baggage obviously accompied me. That came with lots of drugs and alcohol ( I mean LOTS of Alcohol).

I would meet my first real girlfriend, and its where I would lose my V card. The rollercoaster begins. Obviously I had my issues in the past with girls, but it's just innocent high school drama.

The real world hit me with my first relationship. It was going well, but the red flags were there. I'm not saying I wasn't stupid and didn't make bad choices, but there's a level of respect and decency that you should show everyone until they give you reason not to. She gave me none of that. This break up wasn't so bad. I mean, she ended it publicly before she even told me, and when I got mad about it and confronted her, I was the bad guy, she "was leaving for college and I shouIdve always known the relationship was temporary". Then gets into an immediate relationship in college. Thats my first introduction to female nature.

Second female, around 2007-2008 I meet her as a groupie at my show (first mistake) she was a young 18 year old college girl (second mistake). She fell for me FAST, and my dumbass fell for her. (Third mistake)

Now note that I hadn't graduated high school. I was technically a drop out even though I was home schooled from 4th grade on (another story).

I drove back and forth between Nothern Virginia and Richmond every weekend to see her. Over and hour drive each way. It was going great other then her incessant nagging that I get my GED (which I proudly achieved years ago now) I began to see her lose interest in me, yet I didn't want to see it. One weekend for her 19th Bday. I bought her a $200+ Ruby/Diamond Necklace. I drove down again for the weekend. Gave her the necklace, showed her an amazing weekend, I had a great time. Then the night came to leave, she drops the breakup bomb on me and gave me back the necklace. I had to drive almost 2 hours home crying my eyes out. ( I know I know, SIMP) worst of all...i bought the necklace at my Job and had to return it there and EVERYONE knew why. 😖

Again it get worse.

Fast forward to my third "Love" That was a train wreck. I was her booty call, ATM, emotional support, taxi. I simple Soooo hard for this girl. All while I ignored all the signs that I was the side piece, and not the only one. This girl dragged my heart in so many directions and through the worst moments of my adult life. There was one weekend where she wanted me to take her to a concert, she had the tickets and all I and to do was drive. On my way to pick her up, I wrecked my car going 80 on the highway and almost died. When I called her from my totalled card head bleeding with a concussion, she tells me she hopes I'm okay hangs up and finds another ride. Didn't even care that I was in a horrific wreck and almost died. The day I finally cut her off, was the day things kind of began to get better. For a small bit.

Fourth girlfriend

This one, man this one...how best to describe what it's like to date someone from a certifiable mental institution. Someone who threatened to stab herself in the heart with a knife if I left. While hold and pushing the knife into her chest. Someone to took ecstasy and forced me to drive her to the hospital just to make a scene. Someone who turned my roommate against me and then got me kicked out of my place, forcing me back to my parents. Never saw her again. Or the rent money I paid for her.

Side note: Unknown to me the ex sadly ended her own life years later.

Man, here's my fifth, the beautiful Latin church girl. God was she something to behold. Looked like Scarlett Johansson, best way I can describe her. I did the dumbest thing on could do with her. I told her I loved her 3 months into the relationship. She ghosted me until I could get a hold of her, we talked, I told her I understood her feelings and wouldn't say the words again. That we could still move slow, I set some boundaries with her, she broke them and I ended it. Not so bad. Still...the childish nature of a Woman, she couldnt just talk to me, tell me how I made her feel. Just communicate, but she wanted it to end. Only one I slightly regret.

There's another relationship that wasn't too bad either, I just wasn't feeling it and I broke it off. So I can't say that ive had 100℅ bad experiences, it would be disingenuous of me to say that all women are like the bad ones that i dated. But I can say that the majority are. In between those relationships, I had many hookups and tried to meet many women. Most of which shot me down pretty harshly. I mean they made me feel like shit for approaching them. Some of which would go after my friends right after. In front of me.

Let's just get to the last two that pretty much put me on the Red Pill forever.

I'm an actor, I started in 2012 and do a lot of live theatre production. I met one of my exes in a production. We dated throughout the entirety of the show. It was great, O honestly thought I finally found her. We talked about wedding rings and who we would invite. We stayed together on weekends, I took her out. I did everything I could for her to the best that I had. I didn't have a great job, but I had money and I worked hard.

I sensed something was off towards the end of the show when she started to cancel plans and became distant out of nowhere. It blindsided me, despite the fact that she told me everything was fine. We had our post show wrap up cast party at a vinery and she didn't even sit with me the whole night, she even ignored me. I had bought a bottle of good wine and I was going to bring it that weekend when we hung out again.

Finally the weekend came, she cancels on me again, and I tell her we need to talk. She hits me with "yeah we do"

That night she calls me and tells me, and I'm paraphrasing here, "I'm just too busy with shows and I don't have time to date, and that's just not fair to you" I tell her thats not her choice to make whether I can handle it or not. She insisted on breaking up. So I left it on good terms. Thinking she was telling the truth. That I for once had a relationship that ended with some closure.

About three weeks pass, maybe less. Can you guess? I'm sure you all can guess what happens next.

ding ding ding she posts on Facebook that shes in another relationship with some guy I've never met or seen. She lied and clearly had been talking to this guy the whole time we were together. I was devastated...AGAIN!

So I get to endure more trauma of the sickness in your stomach and horrible depression you get from heartbreak.

So I eventually get over her and move on. Start to better myself, get into shape. I star in a movie, things are great! I move out again and get my own place with a roommate. Things are good until I meet up with a single mom on Tinder. Shes got two kids from two different fathers, she lives with an extremely crazy, mentally and physically abusive mother. I developed feeling for this woman and started dating her. The sex was good, that was it. She would pinch me, punch me "playfully", she would tickle me, which is unbearable for me, and in spite of my pleading her to stop she would continue and I would accidentally kick her or hit her and she would get mad. It was absolute HELL! She enjoyed hurting me and putting me down. I don't know why I continued with it.

She didn't have a car, so I drove her everywhere. I was the love of her life, even though she would tell me that I wasn't a "real man" in front of her kids and mother, just because I wouldn't get a better job. She would get mad at me and ghost me for a whole day, and get mad when and tell me I dont control her and she doesn't answer to me when I ask her why she wouldnt talk to me.

She failed to see I worked a late shift job, minimum wage, I was basically scrubbing floors and kitchen equipment all night with a bad knee. Then I would drive almost 20 min home at about midnight. Wait til she got off work at 2am, would drive 30 min both ways in a gas guzzler to pick her up and take her home. She would get mad at me for asking for gas money. Sometimes If I couldn't pick her up, she would have this guy coworker take her home. I was grateful, she even told me not to worry about him even though he was making advances as she told me. She would tell me that she wasn't into black dudes though.

One night I accidently fell asleep after work and overslept picking her up. Imagine that drama as I had to chase her down the road in my car because she wouldn't get in, she made me pay for it and basically made it out to be as if I had punched her in the face. She couldnt believe I would do that to her.

What, you mean accidentally fall asleep because I was dog fucking tired all the time doing everything for her, all while she was straining my relationship with my roommate and I? That?

I eventually called her out on it all and asked her for just a little appreciation for what I brought to the table, and to have faith in me that I was going to work everything out. She broke it off with me almost immediately. I moved out and went back home afterwards.

Come to find her confessing her love on Facebook not two weeks later for the guy she told me not to worry about. It's because she needed another chump to use for a free ride.

The worst part about it all is I came back to absolutely no emotional support. I was so isolated from my friends because of her, and yet I had to sit down and personally apologize to my friends for ghosting them, all while I was still in a very vulnerable place.

These are just snippets of events in my life that led to where I am. I don't have time to type out my life's story. It's just years of questions and torment. The constant nagging questions "Why wasn't I good enough", "whats wrong with me?". The low self esteem, the lack of confidence that came with it. I slowly retreated into myself and away from society.

I had given up, I stopped dating, I stopped trying all together. I felt lost, I was the lowest I had been, even since my days of living out of my car. I felt like the world had no place for me and I was an ugly, worthless human being. I was going to die alone and I would have no legacy.

Society really and me so brainwashed that I believed finding a spouse equated to my happiness and overall purpose as a human being.

I stopped caring about everything and just started coasting through the days with no direction, no future. Not wanting to exist anymore.

I had lost who I was, who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do. I prayed for an answer. I deleted all my Social accounts and went completely dark from the world other then work.

Then God spoke to me through his word. He told me that I didn't need a woman, that times called for me to focus on him and that a woman would only distract me from my purpose.

The weird thing is, I can't tell you where I found the red pill. I only remember hearing about MGTOW, I slowly started to dive further into it. I started to hear so many other men like me who had similar experiences with women. I finally felt some peace in my heart. I learned it wasn't me. Every burden and fault I had put on myself for these failed relationships were lifted. I could stop asking if I was just ugly. I could stop obsessing over how to the make myself more desirable. I finally felt a sense of freedom of self. I learned that I had placed my happiness in my ability to find someone, rather then placing my happiness into finding myself.

Understanding true female nature and knowing that I've been lied to my whole life was infuriating and it still is to a degree. But for the first time in my life, I'm making plans for myself. I'm working for myself. I'm actually excited about making money, getting a dog and going on adventures. I no longer care to meet a woman.

I'm another man saved by this community. Thank you all for continuing to spread this message. You're helping a lot of men. Especially disenfranchised men like myself. It's harder for Men in my generation as we were the last to truly have hope for the American Dream, family and future. So many years wasted that I could've used focused on something that mattered.

Thank you to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for leading me to MGTOW.

And thank you MGTOW for being a light to men in a very dark, evil and feminized world. ✊ Stay Strong Gents, you're doing good work!