Serious question

padraigmarcus · 2019-08-23T00:50:26+00:00

No. You are not alone. I sometimes think I would like to be married and have kids (before being MGTOW) and then I would quickly talk myself out of it for numerous reasons like you mentioned. I do the same thing when it comes to buying a house or a car. I think I would like to buy a really huge house and then come back to reality of knowing that more house equals more headache. I bought a Toyota Corolla a few years ago. I was originally going to buy a luxury sedan since I'm spoiled and require luxury...or so I thought. I decided I don't need a $70k car when a $20k car will do exactly what I need...it will cost less to keep maintained and I'm risking less money. The moral of these stories is I often talk myself out of things that might sound appealing at first glance. I always come back to using reason instead of emotion.

important_accident · 2019-08-26T08:15:20+00:00

Its a mixed bag. Find a woman who doesn't expect you to impres her (all the time lol) and see how you feel. Relationships have their ups and downs. I learned a lot about myself from mine and frankly grew as a person. Do I need one? Nah, I have no interest in making kids. You do you man, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

ElOweTea · 2019-08-25T23:55:15+00:00

I was a moderately successful pua, hardly ever dated girls I can honestly say in my life I've only had less than 5 girlfriends, the longest one lasted 6 months. Preferred the old pump and dump and pua gave me the tools to achieve that. Then I found trp and realized I was doing too much and scaled back on all the chasing skirts, then mgtow and SR. Since then I haven't looked back and prefer to avoid woman as much at possible which I can't always achieve because I have a large network of friends and they aren't mgtow so women are always around. I still have some skills left over and the most I do is a pump and dump if necessary but due to my current SR ambitions I'm planning going a full year celibate starting on my birthday coming up next week. Only thing I wanted woman for was sex and nothing else now, not even sex.

WolverineDLogan · 2019-08-25T10:06:38+00:00

I was a on and off blue pill for a time . But now I think I will be single and child free for life.

PubliusVirgilius · 2019-08-24T21:27:41+00:00

I wanted a girlfriend and casual dating for most of the time and for a small amount of time I unfortunately got the idea of trying to find a "soulmate" who I could marry. Luckily for me I found the red pill and MGTOW instead haha.

Nowadays I am kinda not even interested to go on casual dates. Its much more interesting to read a book or do other useful things with your time.

Of course there is always pressure from family why I am not dating or on the way to marriage, but I don't care.

I consider myself VERY lucky to have found MGTOW and to be aware what is really going on.

Stirner01 · 2019-08-24T05:52:34+00:00

No, You're gay.

Jaquio63 · 2019-08-23T20:38:33+00:00

I do feel the same way: I'm 40, and throughout my life I *expected* to get married eventually, because that's what people were supposed to do. But really, I have no desire to date at all anymore. A large part of that is that I don't have a very high sex drive; I'm just fine without physical intimacy most of the time. One of the biggest problems I see in the MGTOW community is men who are forever locked in the "anger phase" because they have high sex drives that can't be satiated without dating, and the frustration keeps boiling over.

Out of curiosity, how do you feel about sex, or the lack thereof? I sometimes feel like I'm missing out on sex, because our culture is all about the worship of sex and it's found in every popular song, movie, and TV show. But I don't feel biologically driven to pursue it. I'm afraid that makes me a bit of an oddity in the manosphere.

SullenBol · 2019-08-23T10:50:49+00:00

I also don't feel like i'm missing out on anything. But i'm not sure it has always been the case. Sometimes i feel like i actually sought out women and i don't know if its because i was supposed to or because i actually wanted it. All i know right now is that i would sooner fry my brain than try to impress a girl with dates and gifts.

TaisharMalkier22 · 2019-08-22T12:08:13+00:00

I am in my early twenties and everyone in family insists I will soon start to crave a relationship like "a healthy human". One of my 'friends' even called me immature due to not wanting a relationship. I still don't think I am going to change my stance no matter what anyone else says.

Flyasspisces7 · 2019-08-22T22:33:04+00:00

Me!

Are you an only child?

IBudgetForIt · 2019-08-22T20:44:45+00:00

In my mind, there's a big difference between having a girlfriend and having kids. I always wanted a girlfriend so I could get enough physical affection and sex. I've never wanted marriage or kids, but I ended up with them anyway because of my really strong need for physical affection -- I had a wife who gave it to me so I caved and let her have the kids she wanted. Of course, that didn't work out in the long run -- we're divorced now.

Thankfully, there are now good options to get needs for physical affection and sex met without needing a girlfriend. I really wish those options had been available when I was younger.

Wasabipeanuts · 2019-08-22T16:33:58+00:00

I can honestly say I've never pursued girls/women or relationships. Circumstances had me end up with girlfriends anyway. Usually friends of friends I met by chance or girls who hung with/around the same crowd I did. One of them became my fiancee and eventually my wife. I guess it was similar to what you're saying about 'doing what you're supposed to' although I wasn't reluctantly following along with something I didn't agree with. It felt good/normal at the time. It never felt like I was required to do anything. I don't care for the social conditioning BS you read about everywhere. In the end everything was a choice. My initial indifference towards the idea (not the girls/women themselves) should have told me enough to know committing to anything (for life) was a bad idea. Instead I just went along for the ride. Lesson learned.

Impossible-asset said it well; Listen to (and follow!) your instincts. If you don't want to live a married life, don't. There's no reason or need to justify it to anyone but yourself.

Going MGTOW and what it does/enables you to do should be able to stand on it's own as the right choice. Not just in comparison to a previous life, a married life or something else. If it's a (reluctant) alternative to something you want but think you're unable to achieve for whatever reason it won't feel right and will be difficult to justify or explain to yourself and especially others.

As for your question, no, I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything.

RedPillMissionary · 2019-08-22T15:35:49+00:00

We live in a unique period of time when young, beautiful women will be more than happy to sleep with guys, even older guys, who they meet at a bar, but when they turn thirty, suddenly they pretend to be conservative, family oriented, and expect a big house, new car, and luxurious lifestyle. So you can have fun and date younger girls without much drama. After that, its a nightmare of nagging, extreme expectations and judgement.

30203forever · 2019-08-22T14:13:30+00:00

No. I'm just like that & have always been.

liberamesse · 2019-08-22T13:37:58+00:00

I agree with you. It's a mixed bag in the MGTOW community. Some men are born or evolved bachelors who would avoid relationships in any circumstances. Others are men who think that they would like a relationship if the circumstances were right, but currently judge the societal circumstances to be too bad to go down that road.

Personally, I fall into the evolved bachelor category. Like most people, I was brainwashed by the romantic bluepill fantasy, despite an uncertain instinctual resistance to the protocols of modern relationships. Now that I know better and know myself better, I no longer have any doubt about wanting to remain a bachelor. I was never into the whole idea of relationships anyway. I was and am just physically attracted to women and took it for granted, as per my brainwashing, that one had to enter into relationships with them to have sex with them, not only from a practical point of view, but also from a moral one. Now that I am free of these delusions, feelings of obligation and any associated guilt about not appeasing women, I unapologetically and happily intend to be a bachelor for life. There can be no substitute for freedom.

liberamesse · 2019-08-22T13:34:03+00:00

I agree with you. It's a mixed bag in the MGTOW community. Some men are born or evolved bachelors who would avoid relationships in any circumstances. Others are men who think that they would like a relationship if the circumstances were right, but currently judge the societal circumstances to be too bad to go down that road.

Personally, I fall into the evolved bachelor category. Like most people, I was brainwashed by the romantic bluepill fantasy, despite an uncertain instinctual resistance to the protocols of modern relationships. Now that I know better and know myself better, I no longer have any doubt about wanting to remain a bachelor. I was never into the whole idea of relationships anyway. I was and am just physically attracted to women and took it for granted, as per my brainwashing, that one had to enter into relationships with them to have sex with them, not only from a practical point of view, but also from a moral one. Now that I am free of these delusions, feelings of obligation and any associated guilt about not appeasing women, I unapologetically and happily intend to be a bachelor for life.

Impossible-asset · 2019-08-22T13:31:42+00:00

Listen to your instincts. They serve you well because they often know what you really need vs what other people telling what you want.

No, I have never wanted to get married, beyond the occassional and short-lived pop-up of some blue-pilled fantasy.

Have had several girlfriends, and without exception it was a stressful and unenjoyable experience.

Now I am a solo guy. Not single. Single implies the desire to be "not single". Solo is just solitary. I'm 44 years old and doing just fine.

Do what truly will make you happy when it comes to your desire for relationships (or lack of one).

DangZagnut · 2019-08-22T13:20:04+00:00

As a child I never wanted marriage or kids, and as an adult I still don't want marriage and kids, even though I have enjoyed both dating women and working jobs which involved children, I get along with kids great, and they like me, because I guess I'm a man-child or something. Oh well.

But at the end of the day, it's "where's your parents"?

if you want to experience marriage, just do that with a girlfriend. Act like you're married, it's all the same shit. There is zero difference between living with a chick and marriage, no matter what married people say.

It's simply not worth it. I've never seen the value, and in my upbringing marriage was never mentioned at all. It just seemed stupid to me.

801735 · 2019-08-22T12:22:37+00:00

I could never justify the immense amount of effort and commitment that a relationship requires.

And that's from BOTH... so, yeah. Nah, tnx, not interested in one sided investments, I'm fine, tnx.

Title	Serious question
Author	Based_Hootless
Upvotes	10
Comments	31
Date	August 22, 2019 11:57 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW2
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW2/comments/ctwdnu/serious_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW2/serious-question.812427 https://theredarchive.com/post/812427

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