Anyone have experience with PPD?

FrozenSoil · 2015-07-21T16:10:18+00:00

My wife dealt with it after our child.

In my opinion, the #1 thing is to make sure she gets enough rest. Sleep will do incredible things to the body and it needs it after what she went through.

If this is your first child, then I'll give you advice I wish we had internalized. An infant sleeps around 18-20 hours a day. While SIDS and the like are cause for concern, she needs to sleep and rest as much as possible...you don't need to stare at the thing while it sleeps. You'll hear it when it cries and wakes up.

TrainingTheBrain · 2015-07-21T14:58:21+00:00

I'm going to give you my opinion on the subject and my experience with anxiety as well as that of my wife.

Your wife has gone through an extreme physical and mental change these past few months. Her body gained weight, she has another life to care for, and she is no longer 'defined' by her profession.

To keep this somewhat brief, I will get right to the point.

The answer is for her to find joy and contentment in what she is doing. PPD is a real thing, from what I've read and researched. I don't have the science or citations to back that up, but from my understanding it is a physiological issue that is fucking real.

But, I think it can be mitigated and cured through specific actions on the part of the mother as well as those who she has for support (you). Getting her to find joy in what she does around the house, getting her to find joy in the sleepless nights and constant 'presence' of the child during the day. She is a Mother she has given life to another human and without her efforts you would not be able to do what you do. She needs to see that.

It's like the guys who are in the military have the complex of 'Not doing enough' because they weren't SEALs. Everyone has a role to play, without her taking charge of the home and rearing the child, you'd be fucked with your job and therefore the family would end up in poverty.

You need to lead and be that Oak now more than you ever have before. With both of our kids I never told my wife I was tired, I never told her it was too much, and I never took my foot off the gas with self improvement.

Continue to lead your clan and make sure that you are taking a share of the burden. Grab the kid and bring it somewhere so she can sleep, workout, clean, relax, bathe, fucking whatever. You are a Father and you need to be a Masculine presence in the household.

The single greatest discovery that I came across was from this sub. A few users here, mainly /u/strategos_autokrator turned me on to Stoicism and it is exactly what I needed. Looking back I was brought up with many of the teachings that this 'Life Philosophy' promotes, so I was able to more quickly apply it to my life.

Since then my wife has also taken a major interest in the subject and together we have made some serious fucking growth on the 'spiritual' side of our relationship. Removing the unessential and finding joy in this life all while mitigating the negative emotions sounds like something that may greatly benefit your wife.

I wouldn't come in throwing The Enchiridion or The Meditiations at her. But, before resorting to medication, I would approach the subject and explain that this is something you guys will do together and work together to solve and that she can be open and free in explaining things to you.

Having her shutdown is the worst that can happen and if she feels that she's losing you to this issue, she'll hold it in and that black cloud inside will grow.

Acta, Non Verba - stay vigilant brother.

angels_fan · 2015-07-21T15:22:25+00:00

I was like "what does purple pill debate have to do with this??"

boristhespyder · 2015-07-22T00:47:42+00:00

Is there a blood test she can take to unequivically show what her hormone levels are? Instead of guessing, can't we just see something in black and white?

ian_cman · 2015-07-21T16:10:31+00:00

Anxiety. My wife complained about this for years. It would keep her up at night, wake her up at night, rapid heart beating you name it. In hindsight, she was the captain and she was trying to prevent the ship from running aground. She made decisions and now I know that she hated it.

My experience is that when I chose to lead my ship for real. I mean really lead it and take ownership of the household, her anxiety slowly decreased. It took several months but I never hear her complain about it any longer. In her head she knew that she didn't have to worry about deciding what to make for dinner, where to eat, when to leave etc... it was a huge weight off her shoulders.

My wife is less than 6 months post-partum. I do not see ppd in my case and I'm not saying this will solve your wife's problems. Encourage her to see a Dr. if she feels she needs too.

Just remember, if you are not leading the ship, she is, and that can be a source of great anxiety for her.

alphabeta49 · 2015-07-21T16:11:19+00:00

My wife fortunately did not struggle with ppd, and for some very specific reasons. You didn't say in you post, how long has it been since the kid was born?

You basically treat pod like any other kind of depression. You have to be a tad more rock-like, be positive, lift her up and encourage her occasionally, and don't let yourself get discouraged when she shoots you down. Does she breastfeed? It's probably too late by now, but for future reference breastfeeding GREATLY reduces ppd, as well as crests better nurture bonding between kid and mom.

And then there's the basic depression cures: moderate exercise, eating healthy, getting fresh air regularly, spending time with friends and daily that support her.

Good luck.

Title	Anyone have experience with PPD?
Author	TMRPNEWBIE
Upvotes	4
Comments	8
Date	July 21, 2015 2:40 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3e2qo9/anyone_have_experience_with_ppd/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/anyone-have-experience-with-ppd.201401 https://theredarchive.com/post/201401

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