I've seen a lot of posts recently from guys who are unplugging, fail shit tests, get hard nos, or lash out in anger and then grab their keys and likely peel wheels on their way away from the house. Like a scene from a movie to play up the drama while the camera lifts upward to show the open road ahead to give some feeling like they don't know where they're going, but it's gonna be better than here.

 

What they don't show in the movie is the character getting to the diner, or, bar, or parking lot and thinking "so I'm here...now what?". They don't tell you how silly the character feels because he cant make any changes there and he's going to have to slink back home eventually and look like a fool for running away. Yes running away, that's what you're showing your wife when you do this. You see a problem and your solution is to get away. Note this is NOT the same as withdrawing your presence and attention. Withdrawing is done with purpose, it is a calculated move and you did not fuck up or slip into your wife's frame before you did it. In addition, it also coincides with your newfound interests and often it's purely mutually beneficial because you wanted to go do something else...it just so happens that in doing so you're also conditioning your wife. Beginners take note, let me illustrate with an example:

 

Swallowing the pill is like playing a game. Take chess for example. Blue pill you is like a kid who knows nothing about chess other than how the pieces move. People will play with you from time to time, but you bore them because you don't really have a strategy, you don't give them a challenge, while they seem to knowingly or unknowingly move their pieces to back you into a corner constantly. You won't find much satisfaction playing this game but you keep playing because moving pieces around is what you've been told to do for years to win.

Finding the pill is then like starting to see player strats. You're reading about specific openers, how to trap, how to deceive, and how to plan ahead with purpose. This is where men are going "holy shit my opponents are actually trying to beat me". But then some men, after reading this, still throw a queen on a suicide mission and then cuss out their opponent and flip the game board when their queen gets taken. They run away only to discover the game is still there when they get back. They threaten to go find other players to play with...but haven't gotten better so they're likely to flip more game boards in the future. They know about their opponents' moves, but do nothing about it and expect the solution to just happen.

Swallowing the pill is when you actually see your opponent's strategy. You know what they're up to, you've read about this particular set of moves before. What do you do? Do you call them on it? Tell them what they're going to do next? Tell them about the red pill the counter strategy?? NO! You STFU and start building a plan for what you're going to do about it! You go slow and try out pieces of different strategies to see what works for you...because if you employ every strategy at once it likely won't flow and the game will continue to blow up in your face. There wont be and grand shows or dramatic scenes. In the end, your opponent will be left with only a king and pawn and wonder just how he got there. And you'll have a smile on your face because you know exactly how...but you'll never tell.