Did I handle this correctly?

ivebeencaught · 2015-03-04T23:00:33+00:00

I read this and all I heard was covert contract. You expected her to act a certain way during sex. What did you want from her? Moaning, screaming, scratching your back up, earth blowing orgasms? What EXACTLY was she not doing that you wanted? (Don't go into what she was doing, what wasn't she doing that you thought she should) Then answer for yourself, does she know that is what you wanted?

There are times when I have had sex with my wife and we have been joking and laughing through most of it. We have had tickle wars and wrestled until we were out of breath. There are times when she has wanted to be silly and I haven't and vice-versa. Those are times when one of us has to tell the other I want to be seduced, not play.

If you just walked away telling her you weren't going to settle for bad sex, I really hope that you defined what bad sex is. Have you told her was good sex, for you, is?

mediamole · 2015-03-04T21:06:50+00:00

Play around yourself.

http://www.amazon.com/Breathable-Ball-Gag-Leather-Collar/dp/B005SA0DGI

BluepillProfessor · 2015-03-04T22:00:04+00:00

I don't Think it is a shit test. Is it possible you werenotnot being clear. Your description did not include any indicationthat you let her know before you quit.

I_AMA_Naughty_Boy · 2015-03-04T23:56:30+00:00

I can see how this would throw you off. As long as you didn't pout you held your frame. She probably wont do that again for a while. But I would take it as a clear sign that she's just going through the motions. Just because she's not refusing as much doesn't mean she's an enthusiastic participant.

I submit that you are clearly not giving it to her hard/rough enough. This girl needs a grudge fucking. Pull hair, choke, call her your bitch/slut/whore etc. shove her face into the pillow.

Edit: I may have jumped to quickly to the "going through the motions" part. Seems like she could have just been in a playful mood. Still though a grudge fucking from you should get you what you're looking for.

UEMcGill · 2015-03-05T01:54:37+00:00

I'm gonna call you out on this one. All I read was in the middle of banging your wife you had a big-ole victim puke.

Maybe she's nervous because this is exciting for her, maybe she genuinely thought it was fun, and you my friend shot the messenger.

Next time direct her energies where you want them. "Oh yeah, you want to talk and joke, how about I stick my cock in your mouth to shut you up..." Lead her, tell her what you want. Show her in the bedroom not by rejecting her but teaching her.

Congrats, you've just trained her back to starfish sex.

strategos_autokrator · 2015-03-05T09:46:35+00:00

The one that ruined the sex with the wrong attitude was you, not her.

This is a shit test, and a very easy one, and one that you should welcome. Essentially, she is in a very light-hearted way trying to communicate that she isn't submitting to you because she wants to feel your strong frame so she then submits to that. She is testing your frame to see if you are alpha enough. If she gets to you, you aren't worth it. If you keep frame, she is that much more into you, and sex will be awesome.

Women do this in different ways, and frankly, being silly and talking during sex is the most obvious way and the easiest way to overcome. Don't get resentful, if you do, you are signaling you are beta, and you confirmed you weren't worth it to have sex with.

This was a very light test, and passing it makes sex better. Embrace it. Since it is a light test, it only requires a light touch to pass. Sex is supposed to be fun. There are many ways of having fun. Embrace this as part of that, YOU are the one that knows all the fun ways of sex, and you do them all as needed, and you will maintain frame. Act as if the funny stuff comes from you, you don't fight it, you are the source of the funny and fun stuff. Think of it as Improv acting, and own the humor, and you control it. Play along with her, don't let her make you lose frame, this is done using Agree and Amplify. Also, instead of stopping the sex, just switching position is a good way to stay in control of the situation without letting her get to you.

Sometimes, the right thing is to go caveman. This can come from a form of Amused Mastery that can be used in sex without really using any words. You don't communicate this with words, but with dominance. Simply giving a half smile at her joke, dismissing it with your eyes, and grabbing her by the shoulders and controlling her upper torso with your strong arms is enough many times to communicate this in a way women understand. Or using your strength to MOVE her to another position, so she starts sucking you. The key is not to move yourself, but move HER, so she feels your strength of muscle and purpose. What gets her to shut up is not so much your dick in her mouth, but that aura of dominance.

You fucked up. Welcome these shit tests and ace them. They are gifts she gives you. They are a feature of women. When you pass them, she fucks you that much harder.

Btw, I talk because I used to get frustrated at these shit tests during sex from my wife. I lost frame many times just like you. I've worked hard and now I really enjoy these shit tests, they are my favorites now because wife always goes wild after I pass them.

Countpudyoola · 2015-03-04T23:14:10+00:00

Depends on what shes saying.

She able to bring up the dishes mid-bang? Bang her harder into silence or flip her over. Still talking? Then just finish up quick and dismount.

'Well that was fast' she says.

'Seemed like I needed to get that out of the way so we could discuss X (whatever she's talking about).'

Being playful and silly with some chicks can be fun but usually stops once the going gets going. Again if she's still joking... You ain't pushing her buttons enough. Might be her mood which is fine...still would say bust a nut quick if you're frustrated.

She trying to talk like a porn star but only pulling it off like Mary Poppins? Meh... Why would you give a shit? Talk back or just ignore what she's saying.

blarggggggggggg · 2015-03-05T00:34:31+00:00

A lot of what's going on here I think depends on her personality. How old is she? Is she a generally silly person? How long have you been a couple and is this behavior new? What percentage of your sexual encounters does she exhibit this behavior? How experienced is she sexually?

If this doesn't happen all the time, could be she's just trying to be playful occasionally but it's just a bad fit with your personality. If this is constant from her, could be that she's not very aroused or into it and may need a little more focus from you to get her more in the mood, so turned on that all that dumb stuff isn't in her head or coming out of her mouth anymore.

Knowing nothing about either of you, my impression is that this sounds to me like a woman who's a bit young and inexperienced and just kind of goofy and doesn't know wtf she's doing.

alphabeta49 · 2015-03-05T16:45:46+00:00

My wife used to do this too (still does sometimes). I laugh at her, say shut up!", and start pounding her hard. The more she talks, the harder I pound. 1, I usually finish faster, and 2, her physical reaction (e.g., getting wetter and wetter) usually overrides her hamster.

NevrEndr · 2015-03-06T16:00:31+00:00

My wife likes to shit test about BJ's. "Do I haaaaaaaaaaaaaave to do that tonight?"

I tell her yes you do and she starts whining again. In response I start doing the "come here" inside of her pussy with 2 fingers which drives her absolutely fucking nuts. While doign this i shifted to a kneeling position and asked her if she's ready to suck my dick. She says no, as a shit test obviously. So I removed my fingers, grabbed her wrists with one hand and put them behind her head, lifted up her tank top with the other exposing her tits and said "well then you're getting face fucked" straddled her with my balls on her tits grabbed her pony tail and went to town on her mouth. After a couple minutes of her throat i reach down to her puss and she's soaked the sheets.

Basically what i'm trying to say is you have to dominate her. If she's clowning around start slapping her ass hard and ask if the silly slut likes her ass slapped. Ask her if clowns like to get fucked from behind balls deep. Call her a clown whore, slutty comedian, whatever you want. just dominate her and the joking will turn to gasping and moaning.

Title	Did I handle this correctly?
Author	Dinuguan83
Upvotes	2
Comments	24
Date	March 4, 2015 8:46 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2xy30j/did_i_handle_this_correctly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/did-i-handle-this-correctly.202410 https://theredarchive.com/post/202410

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