Earlier this week I hit a breaking point. I was in bed with my wife (married 17 years, 3 kids), and wanted sex. And as it's been for our entire marriage, she was the one running the show, and the show was closed for business.

Earlier in the day I was about as much of a blue-pill sap as you could possibly ask for. I'd been texting her being super thoughtful and attentive. I got home early from work, told her about the glass of wine I'd set out for her upon her return from shuttling kids. I made dinner, and did the dishes . . . basically bending over backwards to try and push all of the buttons that would make her happy enough to fuck her husband (pathetic!!). Needless to say, when I tried to get physical, she was "tired, not in the mood." I asked her if anything was wrong. Was there something she needed to tell me? She said she "didn't appreciate the pressure I was putting on her to have sex" all the time.

For a while, I considered myself lucky to get some twice a month and she NEVER initiated. Ever. And except for rare periods of higher activity, that's been the norm. And not great sex either. As recent as a month ago, she acted like she was doing me a favor by allowing me to fuck her while she lay there like a corpse - just wanted me to get it done. In retrospect, it feels humiliating even thinking about it. She also recently said "no kissing" while we were in the middle of sex, which made me really suspicious. Haven't seen any evidence of cheating yet, though.

Now that I look back on that night earlier this week when she shut me down, I'm so ashamed at how pathetic I've been acting. And not just that night, but for such a long time. I know others here have been through this, so you know how bad it sucks to accept living a beta existence. Until I recently found out about TRP, I didn't know there was another way.

After that episode this week, I lay in bed feeling like absolute shit. Horny, frustrated, and at first, wondering what I should have done differently to make it work. I couldn't sleep, so jumped onto Reddit, and was reading /r/deadbedrooms for a while. Luckily for me, I ran into a link that led me here.

Thank fucking god!

I haven't taken the time yet to read any of the books from the sidebar, but it's been inspiration reading success stories of guys that have gone the way of TRP and found their true manhood and resuscitated their marriages.

So, that's been my task this week. Wrapping my brain about thinking in a different way. Acting in a different way. Making decisions. Not allowing her to manipulate me or control me.

To continue the story, the next morning, I started what I thought was a version of a "dread game" - letting her know what life would be like without me. (and please share any advice you have on this as I'm still pretty ignorant on how to do this stuff correctly) I cut off communication and went about my day. Hit the gym early, went to work, came home to change and immediately took my oldest out with me for some guy time while dropping a daughter off at practice. Didn't say hi or bye or acknowledge her at all except to say "I've got the kids."

She texted me a few times, and was definitely pissed off saying how rude I was. I texted back evenly, just saying I thought she'd have been happy that I was doing drop-off and that I decided to take my son out for dinner. It just happened to be the rare occasion that she actually cooked.

That night, after getting home, I sat alone in bed and read my ass off. She asked me to watch TV with her, and I politely declined. Yesterday, same routine (gym then work), but I had a work function that night and stayed out late. She was asleep when I got home and it was so god damned refreshing to not give a fuck about coming home late. Before she would have texted me at regular intervals asking when I would be home. Pressuring me to leave early. I'm so fucking done with that.

So, as of tonight (Friday), I'm headed out of town for the weekend for a guys trip, and when I get home Sunday it will be time for the new me to re-establish contact. I have to say, I'm a bit lost as to how exactly I should handle things. This is especially where I could use some help and advice.

Clearly, we've had a rift, I'm already acting way differently, and we haven't talked about it yet. Should I act like this is just business as usual? Just be my new alpha self and say "don't worry about last week" and move on? Or tell her that there's a new sheriff in town and that I'm not the same guy I was for the last 17+ years?

My first thought was to address it quickly then end it by saying, "Yeah, honestly, I got my feelings hurt that night, but in retrospect, I don't know what I was thinking. It's not fair of me to make you feel responsible for my happiness, nor should you make me responsible for yours. If and when we both want sex, we'll have sex. So forget about last week."

Also, I'm still not sure how I should be treating her once we're back to spending time together? Like, I've been deliberately pretty distant and cold, but what direction do I take it now that I'm ready to end the dread game?? Normally I'm a very engaged, warm, friendly person.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble. Thanks for the stories already shared in this sub that have helped me a lot already. I'm honestly ashamed to write all of this, but fuck it, you sometimes have to be honest with yourself and touch bottom before you can push upward and become the new man you're supposed to be. That's where I am today and there's no going back.