Fellow Captains. Many of you probably already know this, but I am sharing an insight that I've had in case there are those who still think they can swallow the pill without lifting weights. There are two phrases that I read on this subreddit that spurred me into action - "Start lifting" and "Own your shit". Lifting weights has been the foundation of my journey so far as I've swallowed the pill and unplugged.

As I've started this journey I've floundered a lot, I've struggled with an onslaught of emotions ranging from joy to anger and sadness. Regardless though of my current state, there has been one thing that I can keep constant. No matter how well I'm doing one day or week or how badly I'm botching it I keep on lifting.

After reading NMMNG and starting on MMSLP the anger welled up. Not anger at my wife or women, but anger at having worn blinders for so long and having those blinders so violently removed. As I tried to set boundaries I pushed too hard and too fast. I was quick to anger and eager for confrontation. Through it all though, through the frustration I would keep on lifting.

Next came the success and emotional highs. I started seeing results and thought "this is easy". After the best week of sex in my life my brain was definitely doped up on all those happy drugs. My wife loved that I was losing weight and even though I'm still quite chubby there has been marked improvement in my physical appearance. All of this has inspired me to keep on lifting.

Reality then came crashing down again. After a vacation that was what I thought my honeymoon would be like prior to marriage it was time to get back to real life. My wife started pushing back on my personal progress. The shit tests ramped up and often times I found myself swinging too far back to the opposite end of what I was doing during the anger phase and avoiding confrontation. I found myself trying not to rock the boat. The awesome sex dried up and the sudden contrast was sexually and mentally frustrating. Through it all I kept on lifting.

Now I'm starting to find some balance. After finishing WISNIFG I was armed with some assertive techniques. I'm far from where I need to be, but I'm doing better with boundaries. When my wife gets that attitude in her voice or gets grouchy with me and the kids I tell her to watch her tone. I don't go looking for conflict but I'm doing better about avoiding it. I still fail compliance tests regularly so when I do tell her to do things herself it really pisses her off. The sex is good again, not the marathon we had during my anger phase but a good steady quality stream. She's started to squeeze my arms and thighs during sex. She has asked me to put my weight on her after finishing up in missionary. She loves when I pick her up and carry her around the house so the kids can paddle her butt or when I playfully toss her around in the bedroom. I love the shape my body is taking and so does she, and so I keep on lifting.

These are just snippets of my journey thus far, but the foundation has been lifting weights 3x a week and getting stronger by increasing the weight every time. The mere act of lifting heavy iron has helped me navigate my emotions. Anger and frustration? Great wear it out or take it out on those weights. On an emotional high? Awesome, you breeze through your workout and feel even more elated afterward. Need some time to think things over? The gym is an awesome setting for that. No matter what phase I am in, no matter what emotions I am feeling, no matter how bad I am screwing things up, lifting weights has been a constant - my rock. My mind and body have both become increasingly strong as I've disciplined myself to keep on lifting.

Why am I making a post on this? In case there are lurkers or others who think they can go into this and ignore this basic foundation. If you aren't lifting weights you are not swallowing the pill. The mental and physical gains from lifting weights will compensate for your fuck ups as you flail about trying to get your bearings. For those who are like me and had never done weight training in their life, a program like Stronglifts 5x5 also helps you learn that you can do it. As the weights get heavier you can meet the challenge. This confidence bleeds over into other aspects of your life. You start to feel like a Man. From day one of me starting a strength training program women have been taking notice and reacting positively, including my wife. This was even before any noticeable physical improvement. I reeked of confidence, especially during those first few weeks.

Gentlemen - keep on lifting.