Masterbeta, MD

Jessie_James · 2014-10-22T12:48:05+00:00

If I can recommend two books, start with No More Mr. Nice Guy and The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011. Those were both very helpful for me.

[deleted] · 2014-10-22T09:34:55+00:00

Welcome to the real world, doc. Discovering this feels like a true revelation, doesn't it?

[deleted] · 2014-10-23T19:54:10+00:00

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[deleted] · Wed Oct 22 13:57:35 2014 UTC

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marxistbacon · 2014-10-23T14:21:06+00:00

I hear you and sympathize. I lived a similar life but didn't find RP until after the divorce. What really struck me was one "a-ha!" moment I had while married. I was at the lowest point ever and suddenly realized "If I still feel this way when I'm 80 years old and ready to kick the bucket, then I will have failed at my life. Not just my marriage, but my whole life and I've only got one of those. And I'm damned if I'm going to waste the next 40 years living like this." So my advice is that while you can work on your marriage, make sure you're working on yourself all the time. No net win if your wife gives you unlimited BJs but you hate yourself inside because all you do at home is watch TV and pine for the days when you enjoyed all the things you used to enjoy.

And on a more technical note, when I read your earlier post I got a strong sense that the "beaten dog" part of your subconscious is still active. This is the part that's always second guessing what's inside your wife's head: is she going to react this way? Is she going to think that I'm just doing X because Y? Is she going to be upset because I know that situation Y occurred and she'll see it as a trigger and...? (More specifically... if I go through with this is she going to bail on my work dinner to punish me?) You need to start to let that shit go too. Part of it is "outcome independence"... if she does bail, you can't view it through the value system in her head, see it through your own value system which is that it's not a big deal. But in another way, it's making sure that the only head you live inside of is your own. Those subconscious trainings are hard to let go but just keep trying to consciously counteract them by saying "yeah, but it's not the end of the world if she's miserable - it's not her right to manipulate me by guilting me emotionally". Another good book recommended here is "when I say no I feel guilty".

You talk about your faith - a good blogger is Dalrock (on the sidebar on TRP) who ties in a lot of the cultural/societal feminism issues with biblical views. Even as an atheist, I find it pretty thought-provoking reading.

Good luck to you on your journey. You can absolutely do this.

isolos · 2014-10-22T12:28:04+00:00

Fellow Christian here. The bible is actually very RPish. Some choice verses include:

Ephesians 5:22-31 1 Corinthians 7:1-5

I'm not saying that you should push those verses to her face to demand sex; that's not gonna work. The bible says you are the head of the family, and she should respect you. Slowly over the years you have grown complacent and as a result she does not respect you anymore. Realize that all of this is your fault and can be fixed. Put your mind in the right frame, then holding frame is easier. I read your other post about the computer thing. Petty revenge is a big no-no, just buy your own computer and let it be. Focus on yourself, re-develop your hobbies back in college, put yourself higher up on the priorities.

Don't try to "seduce your wife", that's not how RP works. If you're doing everything right, she will seduce herself. Throw in some soft-dread by focusing on yourself, and she will plant the seed of doubt herself. Show, don't tell.

[deleted] · Wed Oct 22 13:41:46 2014 UTC

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[deleted] · Wed Oct 22 15:16:40 2014 UTC

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hoard · 2014-10-22T13:53:21+00:00

Please keep us posted.

Good luck!

notmyuglyside · 2014-10-22T13:28:35+00:00

From a Christian standpoint. If you and your wife are devout Christians you need to be the head of the household. Initiate prayer at dinner. Pray with your wife before bed. Join a men's Bible study. Spend time reading the Bible and make sure she sees you reading it and talking to God. Don't flaunt it, just live it. Do Christian things all the time and kick the porn. If you can't kick it then get help immediately. Take control of your life.

Title	Masterbeta, MD
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	13
Comments	27
Date	October 22, 2014 6:14 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2jyxsf/masterbeta_md/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/masterbeta-md.202926 https://theredarchive.com/post/202926

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