Swallowing while deployed
I've been lurking for a week now, currently on a deployment to the middle east. Thankfully, I'm national guard. I have a normal job too. 32, I've got my wife of 2 years at home, my step-son, and my daughter.
When I first started dating my wife, I was nowhere near as passive as I am today. She was submissive; I took lead in everything. In our home, we maintain a very zen attitude, focusing on care for people in our lives. Well, over the course of the last 2 years, I've found difficulty connecting to her. Sex has plummeted. We started having passive-aggressive tiffs. I figured her new career job was draining her.
Not many people get the opportunity I have right now: Leaving reality for 6 months. My motto at the start was... if you aren't improving yourself here, when will you? I've been hitting the gym hard, taking a couple classes, and I hoped to improve communication with my wife. but now... I decided to spend a sick day reading NMMNG.
Holy balls. As soon as I read about covert contracts, the flaws of the beta POV, I realized this is me. All of it. I couldn't put the book down, and finished in 1 day. I've quickly recognized I'm ruining my marriage by being a bitch.
My "comfort" in marriage has left me:
Passive aggressive
Needy
Always out to please
and Boring
That's the start of my tale! It seems to me that NOW is the perfect time to change. Communication is limited over the distance, making a transition pretty seamless. I'm looking forward to continuing to learn, continuing to work on my MAP, and being ready to stand where I belong again. Unfortunately only 1 month left until I'm home.
I'm now looking for the right next steps, other than practice. I've read NMMNG, MMSLP, and the Sex God method this week. Mind you, that's over 3 days.
For someone who has sunk to a borderless beta, what recommended reading is next?
Thanks to all you created here; I am already looking forward to sharing this with my brother in law.... AFTER im unplugged.
[–]RBuddDwyerMarried- MRP APPROVED8 points9 points10 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]KyfhoMyobaMRP APPROVED1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RPMavMarried3 points4 points5 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]EggsInaTubeSock 2 points2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]RPMavMarried1 point2 points3 points [recovered] (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Alphaemote2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]RedPillDadMarried- TRP APPROVED1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Nodeal_reddit1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]strategos_autokratorMan, Married, Mod1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]alphabeta49MRP APPROVED0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link