Using dread with kids?

strategos_autokrator · 2015-05-05T11:40:15+00:00

I just go out with my son and do activities with him. Father-son stuff. Other times it is just for me. The key is that she feels like you aren't orbitting HER, that you have a lot of valuable stuff going in your life. This stuff might be being the best father in the world, or working to look handsome such that others notice you.

Mix and match with the dread. Sometimes with kids, something by yourself.

theultmatecad · 2015-05-05T11:15:26+00:00

Use the dread at night

RedCML · 2015-05-05T14:37:47+00:00

Thanks for clarifying with the edit. At first I thought, WTF is the matter with you?

Dread is supposed to be covert, not overt (take it from me, I learned the hard way). Leaving the house in the evening is not the only way to run the dread program.

Dread means you imply from your actions that you realize you do not require her validation (in whatever form you seek it from her).

Dread means that she infers from your actions that you have options and whatever she's providing (validation) you can probably obtain it elsewhere.

You can make covert shifts to increase dread. Take small steps in the beginning. It's not a rapid process. Wait longer to respond to texts. Don't send her sexual texts unprovoked. If you talk with her during the day, do it a little less. Don't talk about your work as much. Especially if you complain about unfairness or coworkers (this is what women do).

If there is a situation at home which occurs where MRP would normally say, "Leave for X minimum hours" then instead you can get up and make a phone call to a friend or family member to catch up. This will close the door to interaction with her and also show OI if you can have a meaningful conversation with someone else.

alpha_n3rd · 2015-05-05T12:30:09+00:00

Yeah, use it. But don't completely neglect your kids. Usually I leave the house alone in the evening, or if on a weekend I take one or more kids with me. But sometimes I go away alone on weekends for me because I deserve a break once in a while. Not really doing it to intentionally create dread but if it dreads her, bully.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-05-05T14:34:00+00:00

Read Esthar Vilar on the Manipulated Male.

You are behaving exactly like a person with Stockholm Syndrome! Your wife is the terrorist who shits out some hostages and now you are trapped.

FYI: Kids are even better than puppies! You can use kids to approach and talk to pretty young girls. You want Dread? Start working on your game with randoms and let the little ones tell mommy how daddy always talks to DivorceRape Molly when he goes to the park.

Dread is simply you conveying the internalized feeling that you are NOT "trapped" and that you DO have options you could exercise. It doesn't mean you are going to raw dog 5 hotties a week from now on.

rediscover03 · 2015-05-05T13:02:46+00:00

One way I am doing this is looking for ways to plan activities with kids that may or may not involve my wife. Normally she's the one setting calendar for kids activities, so what I started doing is look for things to do with kids that I can take leading role in setting up. Put them on calendar far ahead, or keep a list in case I make last minute decisions to take them somewhere.

Another thing I plan to do is start some kid of dads' club at the girls school and again take an active, leading role in setting up things like play dates and meeting up with other dads. Plus it's be fun challenge of hanging out with blue pill dads (it's a fact that >80% of them will be mostly blue bill, in various shades) and lead by example, gradually hopefully introducing them to RP truths.

I admit this is still I infancy stage as an idea, but my plan is to make something happen that delivers the message "I can handle things just fine as a single dad if I need to and can get social with people I want, not as an accessory to kids' play dates you set up as a mommy".

Sepean · 2015-05-08T18:27:10+00:00

Weaponize your kids, just like she does.

Look, your kids are going to be fine with you gone once in a while. It's not like you're going to be absent for weeks. So do it.

And it works better with small kids. You get the basic dread effect, and she gets to feel the reality of her SMV: that as a single mom she'll be so exhausted she drops a point or two the second you leave her. And it will also help her understand that your attachment to your kids is not a weapon she can use to control you, because you are willing to leave them. You can't have her thinking you'll put up with her shit because of how much you love your kids.

ProjectShamrock · 2015-05-05T14:07:01+00:00

I think I get what you're saying, but there's a few specific concepts that apply, at least in my mind. 1) You live your own life. 2) You have a relationship with your wife. 3) You have a relationship with your children. 4) You have a family.

Obviously, you need to make time for yourself and do all the other things for yourself that you already know about. Beyond that, you apply yourself to your relationship with your wife as a next level, giving her a priority above the children. That doesn't mean if you were on a sinking ship to give her a lifejacket instead of your kids, but rather that your relationship with your spouse requires more effort and complexity than that with your children.

Beyond that, you need to balance your time so you can spend one on one time with your kids as well as group time with them. It's definitely possible to do this as a way to benefit your relationship with your spouse though. For example, you can frame it as you're being nice by giving her a break and taking the kids to a park by yourself. On the other hand, you can easily flip that around and basically use it to demonstrate that you're fully capable of caring for your kids and that you're not dependent on her. My wife tried a shit test one time when we were talking about life insurance about how I couldn't make it without her and I pretty quickly came back and said something like, "Nah, we'd find a way to make it." I forget what I said because it wasn't something mean or hurtful but it did demonstrate that I don't feel reliant on her even for the children. Obviously, life would suck as a single parent working full time, but it's something a lot of people do successfully.

So look at the hierarchy with yourself at the top and figure out what's best, but as a leader balancing out your needs for what benefits each individual and the group as a whole. It's hard to come up with specifics so a little trial and error is going to be required.

I don't know how much time you spend in the gym but I imagine most of that 60-70 hours gone is spent working, which is way too much unless you're running your own business. If you work for someone else, find a way to balance things out. I've managed to get myself in a position where I've told my boss (and his boss) that I work my 40 hours a week, if there's a real emergency or something that needs to be done after hours to minimize business impact I can occasionally do that, but by applying a bit of "dread" at work I'm able to balance out my work life better. Perhaps some of this is luck to be in such a position but I have had to work hard, become known in my field of work, and become trusted by my senior management. Sure, I'm dicking around on reddit right now but at the end of the day I get things accomplished.

[deleted] · 2015-05-05T14:40:05+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Using dread with kids?
Author	TMRPNEWBIE
Upvotes	6
Comments	15
Date	May 5, 2015 11:02 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/34xg4o/using_dread_with_kids/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/using-dread-with-kids.201994 https://theredarchive.com/post/201994

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