What do you expect from the first mate when you realize you've broken frame in a situation that isn't about the relationship? I tried being the calm, rational one, suggesting that we deal with the problem the following day but that did not go over well. I was just as upset at the situation as he was but I decided that it wasn't worth ruining our night. Should I have gotten angry too?

Update: coming up on 3 weeks since the incident. I apologized today for a realization I had regarding our differing expectations of one another that night. Nothing more, just a simple apology. I received back a tirade of angry cursing and being told I was supposed to "sit on his lap". Not once did he ask for this. I was supposed to just know I guess.