Wife ignoring stuff?

[deleted] · Wed Dec 17 16:31:30 2014 UTC

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nopbeentheredonethat · 2014-12-17T16:41:24+00:00

I made a schedule/behaviour chart for my kids that they need to tick each item as they do it. ie. Get up on time - tick ... Get dressed - tick For the last 3 days I've told my wife that they need to tick each box as they do something, but every day nothing is ticked.

Is your wife on board with this idea or did you impose it on her?

Now has a father of 5 kids I will tell you straight up that this idea is really not practical in real life.

sir_wankalot_here · 2014-12-17T16:38:59+00:00

How old are your kids ? Why don't you tell them how to use the chart ? The shopping list on the fridge is stuff you are supposed to buy ?

If there is nothing on the list then don't buy anything. Then when people go looking stuff and there is none. Say you never bought any because it wasn't on the list and to make do 😃

UEMcGill · 2014-12-17T16:57:30+00:00

Early in my career one of the hardest lessons I learned was that you manage things, and lead people. To me, this looks as if you are managing people.

What's the intent of the checklist for your kids (I know what it is so don't explain)? Approach it from this standpoint. "Ok, kiddo's here's the list that you need to do. Here's the instructions on what to do, and here's what happens when you don't do it". The old mnemonic of SMART comes to mind, Specific, Measurable, Accountability, Realistic and Time-bound. In our house we do the same thing, and there's definite repercussions when instructions aren't met. In my house with my 7 year old, if he doesn't get his morning list done, he goes to bed a half hour early. Just like any new habit, you have to give people time to adjust, fail and then succeed.

Here's the thing, it's your program, you own it. Delegate the task, but accept the responsibility. So don't ask your wife why the list wasn't filled out. Show her what happens when it's not. Give the kids the punishment they deserve and need. Then watch when it's successful how your wife falls in line and follows your lead. She'll be the first one to remind the kids "Hey you know what happens when your list isn't done!" She's your first officer, and will execute your orders to a T when good leadership is given. So start with good leadership.

[deleted] · 2014-12-17T19:46:23+00:00

No shopping list? No shopping.

However, your tick list is a nitpicking nightmare. I'd find another method to keep them in line.

[deleted] · Wed Dec 17 21:19:36 2014 UTC

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SorcererKing · 2014-12-17T16:42:42+00:00

I think we can all relate to having specific frustrations we want to address short-term, but you are likely putting the cart in front of the horse on this one. Sounds like you're lacking in leadership in general. Finish up NMMNG, then hit the theory reading on TRP's sidebar. After that read MMSL. If you still don't know what to do after that, we'll be here.

cdnz0mbie · 2014-12-17T16:45:25+00:00

Is she a stay at home wife or does she work?

GentleGiant350 · 2014-12-29T23:40:28+00:00

You're not the boss of her. You're a team, in which you are team leader, but you don't get to go around barking orders and punishing her for not stepping high enough. That's what kids are for - :)

This is not Red Pill. This is some obsessive compulsive control freak BS. Your kids should not have to fill out forms in triplicate for their morning routine, and your wife, unless she agreed to this, sure as fuck isn't in charge of making sure you get the right cover sheets on your TPS reports from your offspring.

Swing and miss, pal. Try again.

newlifeasredpill · 2014-12-17T16:39:06+00:00

Why dont you finish reading and if its still not clear THEN ask. I lurked for months before asking basic questions. No one here is your gopher

Title	Wife ignoring stuff?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	36
Date	December 17, 2014 4:15 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2pl4pl/wife_ignoring_stuff/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/wife-ignoring-stuff.202797 https://theredarchive.com/post/202797

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