~ archived since 2018 ~


March 25, 2022

I've been trying to find empathy on the internet for men's issues and it's ruining me. How can I stop this to the point where when smo says KAM, I just don't give a shit?

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Post Information
Title Empathy
Author Ornery-Surround3491
Upvotes 17
Comments 24
Date March 25, 2022 6:23 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/MenSupportMen
Archive Link
Original Link

[–]FatherOfLights88 16 points17 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You're going to need to stop subjecting yourself to environments where people say things like KAM. You can't stop them, and you likely can't stop caring. What you can do, however, is stop giving them any of your attention.

No good or decent person leads with KAM, or KAanything, for that matter. If you find yourself in a place where that is bantered about, the only thing you need to understand is that you are in the wrong place. Excuse yourself. Leave. Protect your emotions.

[–]50BucksForThat 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is good advice. I left Twatter for exactly this reason, and it helped me. I still find myself reading potentially anti-male stuff on Reddit, but I recognize it and the effect it has and just move on with my day.

[–]Ornery-Surround3491[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]LettuceBeGrateful 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I totally get your frustration. Sometimes when this stuff comes up, I get so frustrated at a deep level. People don't even want to acknowledge men's issues, let alone examine them. It's all just insults and invalidation.

Honestly, when I felt that way, I used to seek out more of it. Kind of a Hitchcockian staring into the abyss sort of thing. But that just exacerbated my misery, so now if I feel my emotional state being dragged down by social media I just step away for a while. You'd be surprised how quickly your brain adapts to the lack of negativity. It's a wonderful feeling. Just make sure you have something fulfilling to fill the time!

[–]Ornery-Surround3491[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]Parintachin 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Stop looking for women to give up this cushy world where nothing is their fault and they have a ready scapegoat. Nobody acts against their own self-interest for random strangers.

MEN need to support MEN. Men need to value other men. Men need to run their own narrative, not try to change someone else's.

[–]Ornery-Surround3491[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]Reddit1984Censorship 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Remember that your attention, feelings, and so on are your private property.
You should care about it because is literal sexism against you, but you should let it bring you down if that makes sense.
Lets give them a good political fight.

[–]Ornery-Surround3491[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]negotiator45 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I made r/maleissuesprogress because I also couldn't find anything positive and it was torture

[–]sir-morti -5 points-4 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

You're not going to find empathy if someone hasn't experienced the exact thing that you have. You're more likely to find people with a shared experience that can vouch for you and have that conversation, but why go looking for something that isn't there?

Especially if you're dealing with people who say KAM. They're saying that because they have a different experience than you.

[–]a-man-from-earth 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

When people say such outrageous things, we indeed cannot expect any form of empathy from them. We should indeed exclude such bigots from our environment.

But I think you are getting downvotes because it appears you are making excuses for them. There really isn't any excuse for saying such a bigoted thing as KAM.

[–]sir-morti 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was in no way meaning it as an excuse, but I see where you're coming from.

I wouldn't expect empathy from someone who isn't trans who has not gone through my journey of transitioning, but I would welcome their sympathy. I would not welcome it from a bigot.

[–]endmysufferingplsbby1 points [recovered] (9 children) | Copy Link

This is support men, not detract them. Respectfully pound sand.

[–]a-man-from-earth[M] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

No gatekeeping (that's my job, not yours) and no personal attacks! Respectfully pound sand yourself.

[–]Ornery-Surround3491[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link


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