A few years ago, I completely dropped any plans to address social issues that I care about. This initially went against my helpful nature, but I realized that obtaining reparations for the trauma I've gone through will help my future self and those close to me. I'm finally healing, and I've never been more happy.

I chose my college majors based on what will maximize my chances of landing a lucrative career, ignoring any potential distractions towards solving social issues. I've set boundaries by walking away whenever a stranger wants or needs help. A lot of my energy has redirected to myself and people who actually value me as a person, and it's been awesome.

I don't know if I will ever hit my reparations number. I calculated the damages (as much as can be approximated), and it's significantly higher than my retirement number. I'm lucky enough to be an engineer in the finance industry at a relatively young age, and I'll be reaching my retirement number in less than a decade, but it's nowhere close enough to reach my reparations number. I'm determined to do whatever it takes to obtain reparations and reclaim what was taken from me, even if it takes the rest of my life.

I've wrestled with and come to terms with the consequences of my decision. Instead of saving lives by using maths and social science to figure out how to address social issues, I'm going to figure out how to automate stonks. My life matters, and so do the harms other have caused me and my need for restitution.

EDIT: Thank you so much for your kind words, everyone. I was taken aback by some gaslighting/trolls/narcissists at first, but I'm so happy I stumbled upon this subreddit.

Here's a comment from another of my post that really hit home for me:

This is healthy. Good for you. It’s not like you’re walking around and kicking puppies- you’re financially taking care of yourself and your chosen family.

It was never your responsibility to save other people’s lives at the detriment of your own. We can’t pour from an empty glass. You’re not responsible for society and it’s unhealthy to take responsibility for other people’s actions.

If you live in a democracy, please vote in every election. But that’s the extent of anyone’s societal ‘obligation’ in a representative democracy. holy hell, I actually work in politics and I don’t think anyone has an obligation to destroy their lives so they can ineffectively protest against forces much bigger than them. That’s not my goal. My goal is to change the laws so that regular people like you can have good lives without getting destroyed by terribly corrupt people. Please care for yourself and don’t blame yourself for the actions of other people. Self care is good, boundaries are good, and you’re NOT RESPONSIBLE for people other than yourself or your legal dependents.

I think you’re contributing to society just fine. :)