I'll include the link at the end of this post but it describes a lot of what I'm going through and maybe many of us men face. Loneliness. Struggle inside and out to fit in. Rejection. Burnout. I'll point out a few highlights.

My experience is that in this world I'm considered a man of low value, low status, low attractiveness, and treated accordingly. And yeah, I have the power to assert my boundaries, say no and not let others treat me poorly. But it's not like they treat me well if I do that.

This has definitely been my experience. From my parents to other family members and my "friends". I think ever since high school, since my parents knew I wasn't gonna get a job or go to college or anything, they started to treat me even worse. And yet, my mom said once that she is the one of the only people in this world that would give me unconditional love. Unfortunately, that's pretty much a bullshit lie. And that HURTS. More so coming from my mom because I had a bad relationship with my dad for a majority of my life pretty much. I thought my mom was the good parent, the one I could depend on. Turns out that's not true either. In some ways, they did kinda set me up for failure in life and yet they turn around and have said that it's all my fault. I admit that I could be taking care of myself better but I am trying a little bit more nowadays since from what I've observed, nobody else out there really cares about my problems or issues and I have to face nearly everything alone.

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Past a certain point "nobody likes me" is not self talk, but an observation. And you can learn to silence the sadness it brings with mindfulness, but no amount of awareness, mindfulness and meditation is going to compel someone to like you. My problem is not negative self talk. It's a negative outside world that remains the same anywhere I go.

Again, pretty much my experience.

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I try to talk about that with a friend and they push me away. I try to talk about it with my therapist and she doesn't believe me - it can't be that bad, I must be exaggerating, sabotaging myself, brainwashed, anything. I try to talk about that with the only woman who's ever chosen to be with me and she gets angry with my "whining" There's nowhere to turn to. Talking about being overwhelmed by rejection just earns you another rejection.

This is why it's hard for me to be really open to anyone about anything. Out of the fear that a misunderstanding will come up and I'll be judged, blamed, ridiculed, rejected or even threatened/hurt in some way. That's why sometimes I think it's better to keep a lot of things to myself so these sort of things don't happen but as you know, that's not exactly healthy either. So essentially, especially if you're a man, there's no real plausible way around any of this. My therapist told me that I've essentially had to grow thicker skin in order to survive. I wish it didn't have to come down it being like that and being "strong" all the time. But being vulnerable towards others can not only be a risk but it can also be dangerous sometimes. People in general now either annoy me/irritate me or they scare the shit out of me. I don't want to keep my guard up a lot but you kinda have to. You do need other people to survive to some extent but that guard needs to always be there and I hate it. And being deemed unworthy by others just because I'm male is no different than being deemed unworthy because I'm black. The hypocrisy our society has really makes me mad and upset sometimes but it is something that is clearly beyond me.

I don't know how I can cope with it sometimes and I'm not sure how others cope with it either unless they're in denial in some form or they just do their best to take whatever hits that are thrown at them and keep going anyway (if they are able to do that). That's what I try to do and even though I am still trying, I'm still stuck in isolation, this black hole, with my health getting worse year after year and I'm not sure if things will get much better. It's scary and it's even scarier that I have to deal with it by myself. But I think, I know, I'm not the only one who is forced to endure through a miserable existence like this.

Here's the link to the original post btw: https://www.reddit.com/r/malementalhealth/comments/rnkuou/you_know_what_fuck_this_i_dont_have_poor_mental/