I’m a lonely 19 year old

Seitantomato · 2021-08-26T10:21:47+00:00

I feel like you have a lot of feelings beneath loneliness. I’m feeling some, “what am I doing with my life?” Vibes.

Breaking it down a little further - how do you feel about your daily routine? Does it bring you happiness?

How do you feel about where you’re going in life?

peanutbutterjams · 2021-08-26T05:49:00+00:00

What are your aspirations?

Extra_Spider_Silk · 2021-08-28T22:43:22+00:00

My 19 year old self felt pretty similar to what you've described here. If I had the chance to meet him, I would tell him to be patient with himself. Here's a favorite quote of mine from the poet David Whyte on loneliness, one that I'm still trying to live by even now:

"It's interesting to think of aloneness, even loneliness, as a doorway to becoming - quite often a difficult and vulnerable doorway, and one you don't want to go through, but one that's simplifying our life and bringing us down to a foundational understanding of what's the simplest thing we want and need in life... The adult form of aloneness is finding out what is nourishing. There are certain thresholds of maturity you can't go through without spending significant time living and breathing by yourself."

Milo96S · 2021-08-26T16:24:32+00:00

All I do is work, go home, sleep, play video games, write, go to the gym and that’s all

and that's all??? Mate that's pretty productive if you ask me.

I do see where you're coming from though, take it from someone whos turning 25 this year, those few years after you turn 18 are very much a limbo which can be tough to deal with. You lose a lot of purpose when you finish the yearly feedback loop of school.

Easier said than done but being in that limbo is what these years are all about. You've got the freedom to piss around and try new things, which I would highly recommend. Throw yourself into your hobbies, enjoy it work on them maybe plan some relevant goals around them?

I was in a similar place a few years ago so went out and joined a random football team full of strangers, 3 years later and I'm now part of the club committee. Everything will come together, you've just got to keep looking for opportunities to put yourself out there, as cringe as that may sound

Reddit1984Censorship · 2021-08-26T19:00:08+00:00

What specificaly is being hard and stressfull for you?
Your list of activities looks good.

iambreathing · 2021-08-26T21:04:26+00:00

It sounds like you are living an unfulfilled life and it's creating this turmoil for you. I struggled with similar concepts for most of my life starting as early as grade school. I felt like I was just getting through the days without really accomplishing anything meaningful. The lack of any “purpose” in my life really fed into a form of depression for me. Here is something I posted in response to a similar question a while ago.

Working towards a goal/event/challenge is absolutely critical to my happiness. I've always struggled with having an aimless existence; even as young as 10 years old. The idea of just going through each 24 hours over and over seemed utterly boring and left me with a sinking hopelessness. Although I've had successful careers over the years, they have never met my need for a sense of personal purpose. What made living through those 24 hours worthwhile? I would take on a new roll, learn to excel at it, then get bored after a few years and the feeling of hopelessness would return.

Over the years I've found the things that I really enjoy and continue to provide happiness or contentment to me over time. I have such a love of the outdoors; mountains specifically but not exclusively. Scheduling several annual backpacking trips and monthly hiking trips help give me not only the enjoyment of the actual trip but the planning and anticipation of the trip helps provide that sense of excitement.

None of that though addressed a need I had of being a contributor to my community in general. I still had a missing aspect of importance in my life. How was living through each 24 hours important to anyone or anything besides myself? I felt like I wasn't being a supportive member of society and had nothing to be proud of other than personal accomplishments. Granted, I work behind the scenes in the medical field and my work helps improve people's lives around the world but none of that work was personal. I couldn't see its impact here in my town, in my community, or in my neighbors. Adding to this dynamic was burying a child and feeling an obligation of sorts that I owed it to her to make my life have purpose. I searched for local volunteer opportunities as a way to 'give back to my community' but nothing ever felt right for me. I finally discovered a perfect match in the local Search and Rescue team.

It combines my experience with the outdoors, my need to contribute to my community, and giving each 24 hours a purpose. This volunteer work lets me see a direct and immediate impact on someone's life. We're there on their worst day to help them and we're quite literally life savers at times. Between the training and the actual calls, I always have something to look forwards to and the spontaneity of the pager going off helps protect against boring days. One great aspect is that with the nature of the work, it will not get boring over time. Each mission is unique and the work is never the same. As a bonus, this drives me towards physical self-improvement as a way to be able to better serve this purpose.

The key for me in all of this was discovering what the meaning of my life was. Everyone is different and will have different answers. I finally found mine. I figured out a way for my life to have continued purpose and fulfill both my personal enjoyment and my pull to have an actual influence in my community.

a-man-from-earth · 2021-08-27T00:29:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

sahinbey52 · 2021-08-26T05:38:02+00:00

Idk, i am no different than you but more positive.

Title	I’m a lonely 19 year old
Author	crazy_void
Upvotes	31
Comments	20
Date	August 26, 2021 3:33 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MenSupportMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensupportmen/comments/pbrd3j/im_a_lonely_19_year_old/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MenSupportMen/im-a-lonely-19-year-old.1065144 https://theredarchive.com/post/1065144

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