It doesn't feel safe to do so a lot of the time, especially seeing the ways society views men. It makes me angry but also scared to be around and talk to people. Then again, we are social creatures so......

I have been dealing with overwhelming thoughts and it's been driving me nuts. I'm on medication now (mirtazapine at 7.5 mg) but that seems to make me more irritable and out of control than ever. Even though it has been less than a week. I just fear that any moment I could be hospitalized or have a breakdown from the stress I'm under alone. So I'm almost expecting it at this point or at least being prepared for it. My psych, I'm scared to see but it's hard to get in touch with anyone else right now. So for the time being, he's pretty much it. My therapist recommends him and tells me that I have to be compliant so he won't drop me as a patient.

I am barely holding it together. And because of these meds and all the stress and just dealing with the state of the world in general, I'm struggling to hang on and I'm kinda losing hope in everything too. And I'm probably gonna end it right here because I don't feel safe enough to say anything else.