Just need to vent

I’m having a rough time. My gf of two years dumped me 2 weeks ago. I’ve had to deal with the emotional fallout from that. I was finally making some progress in moving forward. Then I got a letter in the mail from the state telling me they’re modifying my child support order for the child I didn’t choose to have. For context, I was sexually assaulted by a woman in high school. She gave birth to the kid and I’ve been on the hook for child support since.

Up until now it has been somewhat manageable, just about $500 per month for basic support. However, now they’re raising my basic support to $800 per month, and the state is forcing me to add him to my health insurance. I will also be responsible for 74% of any medical bills not covered by insurance. The mother will only be expected to contribute $23 to the health plan cost. She quit her $20/hr job a few months ago and is now working part time for just $13 per hour. Obviously her job doesn’t provide health insurance which is why I’m on the hook for it.

Will it financially ruin me? No. Will it fuck up any financial goals I had? Absolutely. Yeah, I’ll still be able to pay my rent and other bills. I won’t have to skip meals. But, now I won’t be able to save for a house like I had planned to do. I won’t be able to invest the way I’ve planned to in order to get where I want to be financially. I won’t be able to go on any vacations. Meanwhile, the mother owns her own house and just returned from a Disney Cruise. It’s just fucking annoying. I’m getting a raise soon, and after doing the math I’ll be getting less money in my paycheck than I have been. I’m just lucky I make decent money, so the state’s basic support calculations don’t completely fuck me over. If I were lower income, I’d be totally fucked. I hate this woman so much and I hate that I’ve become resentful towards the world because she refuses to take responsibility for her own choices. Nine more years of this bullshit.