~ archived since 2018 ~


July 17, 2022

You guys, I am really trying in life. I work two full time jobs, about 75-80 hours a week(hopefully not for much longer), I am there for my kids for everything, really making sure they get attention when they are home. I try to cook dinner some and clean the house some. I am really really trying to do all the things. My wife and I kind of have a low-energy situation and our sex life is kinda rare. Tonight I went online and ordered some sex toys to kinda try something fun and let my wife of 14 years know that I’m still into her and I want to be fun with her. Really hope we can get some of our energy back for each other. We don’t do much of that and so I’m kinda nervous now that I’ve put the order in. Anybody kinda dabble in toys in your relationships? Don’t know how to bring it up without basically embarrassing the hell out of myself, lol. Thanks guys.

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Post Information
Title Trying
Author BlueDragonZombie
Upvotes 28
Comments 8
Date July 17, 2022 5:35 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/MenSupportMen
Archive Link
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[–]Rolaid-Tommassi 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

People who love each other won't be embarrassed. Maybe talk to her first before you trot out the massive sex-toy though. Good luck mate. And good for you for being a devoted husband and father; God knows we get little enough credit for that.

[–]BlueDragonZombie[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you so much!

[–]empathylion 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think it's great that you want to reignite your sex life and remind your wife that you're still into her, but I don't think how you're planning to do it is a good idea.

You want her to know that you're into her ? Frankly there's no better way than to literally tell her and show it by actually spending the time with her .

Sex toys are a very personal item and if you bought anything that's for her, unless you 150% knows she wants it then I highly recommend you return it. These are toys that interact and often go into her body, she must be the one to green light it.

I think it COULD be a fun and intimate experience to shop for toys together but it could also be disastrous depending on what kinda toy you get. Together, I suggest you focus on partner toys, not individual toys like dildos unless you're very secure in your own package and your experience together in bed. Visit r/sextoys for a lot more advice on the topic. I've found it pretty helpful.

That aside, your work situation is probably really contributing to the low energy of your relationship. Chat with your wife about that. Just letting her know how you feel and hearing her out as well is what you've got to start with. Good luck

[–]cgsur 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

In these days I find it helps for everyone in the family to have rights and duties.

For everyone to pull together.

It’s important that everyone gets some time, even if it’s to relax, that includes you, spouse and kids.

[–]a-man-from-earth 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

So you work two full-time jobs. That can't be healthy.

What is your wife doing?

[–]BlueDragonZombie[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It won't be for forever. I work for myself and my business is in a weird growth spot where the stuff I'm doing has grown a lot but I'm not quite able to hire the right help yet. One of my jobs is for a client, and one is a passion project of mine that I just needed to start for myself, and so I am kinda paying the price right now to have that grow and soon both things will have help.

My wife has a full-time job as well during the day.

[–]BlueDragonZombie[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Based on some of the feedback here I talked to my wife before the stuff got here and kinda showed her what was coming rather than surprising her with it. It was uncomfortable for me for a minute but I think it had the right amount of laughter and light-heartedness, it felt like she was happy for my effort and when things come we will look at things and see if there's anything we want to try together. Feels like a positive direction. Thank you guys.

[–]a-man-from-earth 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's positive news!

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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